(no subject)
For all the martyrs.
On the SG Gay Confessions page I read all these depressing stories of people killing themselves because their families can't accept the fact that they are gay. It's horrible. I hope, if push comes to shove, that all the gays I know / have known have the strength of will and tenacity of spirit to steel themselves if some shit like that were to happen to them. I hope I'll have that kind of strength, but I do kinda have a coming-out plan because Nigella says if you prepare for the worst, it may not happen. What is really shitty is that people require other people to become martyrs before they realise that something isn't right, that maybe they should have listened more, talked more about it and all that other bullshit, and before that we are suspicious of our families and our families are suspicious of us. No good comes out of it, but it is the fear that drives us on.
In other news, I had dinner with Stanley and Junsheng the other day and they were bemoaning the fact that gays, generally rallying the flag against mistreatment and discrimination, actually treat one another as (or more) badly than the gay-haters. I see the point and I think it's a cultural (or sub-cultural) thing - that amongst the gays there are many different types of gays and these gays generally discriminate against one another. The 'intellectual' types look down on the ravers and clubbers who look down on the nerdy types; everyone secretly wants to look like the dragonboat-alpha gay but disparages those who try but do not make it; the English-speaking gays say 'date him? please, he can't even spell properly' while someone else says 'aiyer that guy damn stuck up one lah', so on and so forth. I don't think it's something that is unique amongst gays; I'm pretty sure most if not all sub-cultural groups have an idea of what it means to be '' and treat those who purport to be in their group, but who do not fit the ideal, differently. You either strive towards the ideal or form a sub-culture that rejects or ignores it. I think this kind of rationalization leads pigeon-holing; you're limiting yourself when you judge someone based on what you think he is, or what you think you are. I am guilty of this too, but I think it's important to think of people as 'people' rather than paint a blanket picture and say 'aiya, [sigh] these gays (though it is very fun thing to say if laced with irony)'. Basically I suppose my point it, I treat all my friends, straight or gay, equally badly, and I think everyone else does too (unless you have some anti-straight/gay vendetta). Actually I forget what my point is because I am drunk. Hmm.
On the SG Gay Confessions page I read all these depressing stories of people killing themselves because their families can't accept the fact that they are gay. It's horrible. I hope, if push comes to shove, that all the gays I know / have known have the strength of will and tenacity of spirit to steel themselves if some shit like that were to happen to them. I hope I'll have that kind of strength, but I do kinda have a coming-out plan because Nigella says if you prepare for the worst, it may not happen. What is really shitty is that people require other people to become martyrs before they realise that something isn't right, that maybe they should have listened more, talked more about it and all that other bullshit, and before that we are suspicious of our families and our families are suspicious of us. No good comes out of it, but it is the fear that drives us on.
In other news, I had dinner with Stanley and Junsheng the other day and they were bemoaning the fact that gays, generally rallying the flag against mistreatment and discrimination, actually treat one another as (or more) badly than the gay-haters. I see the point and I think it's a cultural (or sub-cultural) thing - that amongst the gays there are many different types of gays and these gays generally discriminate against one another. The 'intellectual' types look down on the ravers and clubbers who look down on the nerdy types; everyone secretly wants to look like the dragonboat-alpha gay but disparages those who try but do not make it; the English-speaking gays say 'date him? please, he can't even spell properly' while someone else says 'aiyer that guy damn stuck up one lah', so on and so forth. I don't think it's something that is unique amongst gays; I'm pretty sure most if not all sub-cultural groups have an idea of what it means to be '' and treat those who purport to be in their group, but who do not fit the ideal, differently. You either strive towards the ideal or form a sub-culture that rejects or ignores it. I think this kind of rationalization leads pigeon-holing; you're limiting yourself when you judge someone based on what you think he is, or what you think you are. I am guilty of this too, but I think it's important to think of people as 'people' rather than paint a blanket picture and say 'aiya, [sigh] these gays (though it is very fun thing to say if laced with irony)'. Basically I suppose my point it, I treat all my friends, straight or gay, equally badly, and I think everyone else does too (unless you have some anti-straight/gay vendetta). Actually I forget what my point is because I am drunk. Hmm.