Legum Baccalaureus
Standing behind the white cloth dangling from the catwalk above, heart beating in the darkness as Liansheng utters in his nasally-campy voice, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the dean of NUS Law School, Professor Faizal Abdullah...', thinking, This is It, adjusting my mike, giving Yong Hui and Yujia and Diantha and Allen a thumbs-up, then taking the first step out into the light. 'But what to do, stuck in Singapore.'
I'm tired but happy. It's been two months of hard work, but it's also been two months of utter joy. Though there were times I doubted if we'd even come up with something vaguely watch-able, I think tonight we managed to pull it off. This verges on famous-singer-cliche, but it really got to me when friends send us texts about how they related to the story and how they really felt it - not really watching the story as an outsider, but feeling it - the fear of failing, the desire to do good by our families, the bullshit jokes that we tell one another in the lifts, corridors and seminar rooms before classes start. It also mattered to me that my family was here tonight - it's the first time any of them have been to BTC, and for it to be a time filled with so much nostalgia and warmth and love meant something to me. The curtains closed with the whole bunch of us waving behind, holding back tears, and Zuhao shouted, 'Before we go out, let's have three cheers for Law IV' and I could hardly stop the knee-jerk eye-rolling, and I realised - these are people I love, not in the shout-from-the-mountain-top way, not in some individually passionate way, but in a collective, blankety way. I don;t know how to put it, but it feels like family, feels like communion. We're all in this together, and we put up a good show. From James's ringworm jokes, to Qiuyu (MY ROCK) to Zuhao's delighted bouncing - everyone felt like family. And I guess this is why I'm feeling so empty right now. I'll miss all the fooling around in the Auditorium, which has now come to feel like a second home. I will miss the warm glow of smiles, of familiarity when Sean does something wrong, when Cherissa chastises James for saying something to R-rated. I will miss eating on those spindly tables, waiting for things to start. As with all emo-things, you tend to mash them up with other emo things and this milestone feels like another step towards not being a law student any more. Not having the familiar faces next to me, not having the threat of VTG/Kowf around, etc. When I chance upon BTC a few years from now, maybe to watch another Law IV, or to teach LAWR (I WISH), I might think - oh, this is used to be the Computer Cluster. This letterbox - 1168 - used to be mine. My OG and I used to sit in this area of the LT. I remember Gary Bell trembling in this seminar room - or was it the other one? The memories become fuzzy. I suppose this is what they call mono no aware, but the knowledge that this entire experience was transient only intensifies the emotion.
So thanks everyone - the cast, crew, musicians, make up people, ushers, audience. It's really been one of the best things I've ever done, despite all the whining. Thanks friends, for becoming people that I really love.
reeeeech
I'm tired but happy. It's been two months of hard work, but it's also been two months of utter joy. Though there were times I doubted if we'd even come up with something vaguely watch-able, I think tonight we managed to pull it off. This verges on famous-singer-cliche, but it really got to me when friends send us texts about how they related to the story and how they really felt it - not really watching the story as an outsider, but feeling it - the fear of failing, the desire to do good by our families, the bullshit jokes that we tell one another in the lifts, corridors and seminar rooms before classes start. It also mattered to me that my family was here tonight - it's the first time any of them have been to BTC, and for it to be a time filled with so much nostalgia and warmth and love meant something to me. The curtains closed with the whole bunch of us waving behind, holding back tears, and Zuhao shouted, 'Before we go out, let's have three cheers for Law IV' and I could hardly stop the knee-jerk eye-rolling, and I realised - these are people I love, not in the shout-from-the-mountain-top way, not in some individually passionate way, but in a collective, blankety way. I don;t know how to put it, but it feels like family, feels like communion. We're all in this together, and we put up a good show. From James's ringworm jokes, to Qiuyu (MY ROCK) to Zuhao's delighted bouncing - everyone felt like family. And I guess this is why I'm feeling so empty right now. I'll miss all the fooling around in the Auditorium, which has now come to feel like a second home. I will miss the warm glow of smiles, of familiarity when Sean does something wrong, when Cherissa chastises James for saying something to R-rated. I will miss eating on those spindly tables, waiting for things to start. As with all emo-things, you tend to mash them up with other emo things and this milestone feels like another step towards not being a law student any more. Not having the familiar faces next to me, not having the threat of VTG/Kowf around, etc. When I chance upon BTC a few years from now, maybe to watch another Law IV, or to teach LAWR (I WISH), I might think - oh, this is used to be the Computer Cluster. This letterbox - 1168 - used to be mine. My OG and I used to sit in this area of the LT. I remember Gary Bell trembling in this seminar room - or was it the other one? The memories become fuzzy. I suppose this is what they call mono no aware, but the knowledge that this entire experience was transient only intensifies the emotion.
So thanks everyone - the cast, crew, musicians, make up people, ushers, audience. It's really been one of the best things I've ever done, despite all the whining. Thanks friends, for becoming people that I really love.
reeeeech