Feel the power of the sexy side of the force!

[nomorevengeance]

Characters: Anya and ANYONE! For this is open to anyone who wants to make a purchase, visit Anya, or just go in, stammer in embarrassment, and run away.
Location: Forcegasms Adult toy and holovid store.
Planet: Coruscant
When: All day
What: Selling sex toys. And chatting with friends.
Rating: PG-13

Comments

[slayerdom]

[ Buffy's here to visit Anya. Not to solve her can't get laid problem. Believe it.

After all, what does one do when they've stopped the Big Bad for the time being but clean up a friend's dirty laundry? Xander interfered in her business with Riley. She almost feels obligated to do the same now that he's messing things up with Anya.

She stops at a display to make general ick face at the merchandise, picking up a box and turning it over her hands with wide eyes, a furrowed brow and pursed lips. Oh. ]

[nomorevengeance]

[Anya's going to ignore that ick face. You sure seemed all right with the merchandise when you were using it to kill zombies. Instead, she'll swoop over and eye the box over Buffy's shoulder.]

Oooh, good selection. Are you feeling unsatisfied because of the various attractive men surrounding you with whom you can't have sex? Because that would probably help.

[slayerdom]

Unsatis-- [ Her eyes bulge a little and she drops the box like a hot brick. ] No. No, there is -- Lots of satisfaction. I have the satisfaction market way cornered. Thank you, Anya, for your ... coarse and off-putting honesty. [ She overcomes her flail. ] I'm not here to shop.

[nomorevengeance]

[Anya bends down to pick up the box, frowning at her.] I'm saying this as a friend. You look like you could use a good orgasm. Or... [She gives a wide grin and gestures at the store sign.] Forcegasm!

[slayerdom]

And I'm sure you're an expert in knowing that look. [ She snatches the box back and sets it back on the display, annoyance mounting. ] And as much as I'm just brimming with gratitude for you pointing it out, I can manage my own ... orgasms. [ God. This is what she gets for intervening in Xander's relationships. She somehow winds up talking about her sex life. She cringes. ]

Can we -- I wanted to talk to you. Not about ... this.

[nomorevengeance]

[Anya gives her a pouty look.] Fine. Though if you were, I don't think you'd be this flustered and tense.

What did you want to talk about?

[slayerdom]

That depends. If I say Xander, are you going to kick me out?

[nomorevengeance]

[Anya frowns at her and crosses her arms, but she doesn't move to kick Buffy out. Yet.]

What about him?

[slayerdom]

Well ... about you and him. In the ... what's between you two sense. [ A beat, she sighs. ] Anya, I can't pretend that I know everything that's happened between you two. But, what I do know is this: Xander cares about you.

[nomorevengeance]

Not enough, apparently. [Anya walks across the store, straightening up the books even though they're not really messy or anything.] If he really cared, he wouldn't propose, then leave me at the altar. And he certainly wouldn't leave again when we have sex again for the first time since before the wedding! When I die in the future!

[slayerdom]

He -- [ She sighs, following her across the store. ] Anya, he didn't leave because of you. We got in a fight about Riley. I'm sure that -- That if you talked to him, this whole weird thing would make more sense. Because he's trying to figure it out just as much as you are. But, it's -- I mean, you have to understand, it's a lot.

[nomorevengeance]

He still left. [And now Anya takes out a cloth and starts scrubbing furiously at the spotless counter.] Didn't even tell me until I came out and found him walking away with a suitcase...

[Time to change the subject before she runs out of things to clean angrily.] Oh, here, you'll like this. [Maybe. Anya grabs a small holoprojector cube and presses a button. Two scaly, green, reptilian aliens that are fairly well endowed are wriggling about sexy style.] It's two Falleen males having sex.

[slayerdom]

[ Buffy doesn't even have a chance to respond before SUDDENLY GAY PORN. Her jaw drops and she immediately holds up her hands to try and hide the picture. Except it's not a picture, it's a hologram, so her hands pass right through and she just yelps and starts scrambling to turn it off.

She's not even going to bother trying to figure out what about gay porn between scaly reptiles is supposed to be appealing for her. But at least they're not dead. ]

You're -- I -- No. No Falleen sex. [ She finally manages to shut it off and flings the cube away because seriously. ] Thank you, but no. [ She sighs and moves to set it down on the counter in the middle of where Anya is cleaning. ] Yeah, he left, but Anya, he came back.

[nomorevengeance]

[Damn, that item had been selling really well. Buffy doesn't seem interested, though, and not... really distracted either.]

So, what? I'm just supposed to... give him another to betray me? I don't think so. I'm going to do what I should have done long ago and get over him.

[As soon as she figures out how.]

[slayerdom]

What? No -- I -- [ She sighs. ] Anya, I know we're not exactly -- I mean, you and I don't really -- [ She frowns. ] But, we both know it's not that easy.

I'm not saying you should just ... offer your heart up on a platter -- [ She stops, to consider the literal implications of this and make an ick face. ] Which ... come to think of it, seriously? Please don't. Doubt that would come out of the carpet. [ Oh. Right. Back on track. ]

But -- But maybe if you talked about it. About what you're both feeling and were just -- were honest with each other. You're both scared. You could -- You could get unscared together! It could be a -- a togetherness. Process.

[nomorevengeance]

[Anya turns around and pegs her with a shrewd look.]

Why are you even giving relationship advice? Haven't you screwed up more relationships than I've had?