the untilled things before me // oh the possibilities

[soloing]

Characters: Jacen Solo (soloing ) and the Unicorn (theforestechoes )
Location: The Jedi Enclave
Planet: Dantooine
When: After this
What: DEEP PHILOSOPHICAL RAMBLING + backstory time. 
Rating: PG-13 at most for... potential discussions about torture.

Comments

[theforestechoes]

[Being inside of the Enclave was strange for Isolde, especially when she had come assuring that she was not here for the Jedi, but simply to watch over Ness. She had left her lightsaber and robes in the ship, looking every inch the civilian. Except for her Force signature, which was mostly why she kept away from the students as much as she could.

Jacen's presence washed over her then, and Isolde smiled sadly at the feel of it as he approached, almost like Jaina's. Now was not the time to focus on her own anxieties. She looked up at him when the doors opened, letting the hint of sadness drop from her smile.] Jacen! Come in, please.

[soloing]

[He could sense her, well discomfort might not be the exact right word for it, but whatever it was, with being here, and smiled almost apologetically as he entered, nodding his head]

Isolde. I hope meeting here was alright.

[theforestechoes]

It's fine. [Her shoulders lift in a shrug. It was awkward, but there had been worse situations, and it wasn't worth talking about much, not when he was here for other things] The Council will have to deal with me, I suppose.

Take a seat.

[soloing]

[He settles in] I'm sure they'll manage somehow or other.

How are you doing?

[theforestechoes]

No different than I have been. [a pause before she frowns slightly] A bit worried, if you want the truth of it. How about you?

[soloing]

I just know that you and Jaina were... close.

I'm still figuring out how to feel about her vanishing from the galaxy.

[theforestechoes]

Bonded. [There's no reason to lie about it, she supposes.] We had a Force bond.

You two were not as close as you once were, were you?

[soloing]

[The look on Jacen's face betrays his feelings even to the casual observer, much less someone who can sense them. Shock - and the tiniest sense of complete isolation]

... I never...

[He stops himself and starts over, looking down for a moment] ... Not since a certain incident in our lives, where I lost my connection to the Force, no. The link we once had is something we've never managed to quite regain.

[theforestechoes]

[Isolde stills, an incredible sense of guilt and sympathy hitting her. She should have known better than to say it, perhaps, but there it was. She leans over when he's done speaking, reaching out for his hand and squeezing it gently.]

You lost your connection to the Force?

[soloing]

[He recognizes immediately that that's more than sympathy talking, and the look he shoots her says as much. His hand tightens reflexively around hers for a second]

It was taken from me when I was in captivity by the Vong. Everyone else thought I'd died. Jaina--

[He decides to backtrack to a certain point] The Vong weren't the ones who stripped me of my connection to the Force, however. That was done by someone who I came to see as my teacher, among other things.

[theforestechoes]

[She understands the look he gives her, the corner of her mouth twitching up in a sad smile.]

How did she take it from you? [It doesn't make sense to what she's been told. The Force can't be taken, but yet he says that it was. She grips his hand again, unsure of what to say, how much to say... His Force presence doesn't feel like hers, but he was stripped, too. Cut off.] What does it feel like for you?

[soloing]

I'm not certain how she did it. It was simple for her. A power like any other, to take it away, as if it were nothing.

It felt like being struck blind, or deaf. Losing an arm. Something that had always been a part of me, something I'd come to take for granted.

That was part of her point, really.

[theforestechoes]

Simple to take away what makes us alive... [She doesn't know what to think about that, the implication that it would be easy to strip someone of the Force...]

To make you blind and crippled? That is a cruel point.

[soloing]

Many of her points were. But then again, they were effective.

My whole life, I've operated as part of a set, of some kind or another. A family of heroes, a twin who always had my back, and knew my every thought. Until my father's best friend died at the beginning of the war, we almost seemed untouchable, as if we'd come out of anything alright.

Even when captured by the enemy, held in torture, there was a part of me holding on to the hope that they would find me. That they would help. But once they thought I was dead...

I was on my own. I had to discover precisely what I was capable of. Beyond my reliance on them. Beyond even my reliance on the Force.

[theforestechoes]

[She sits back in her seat, watching him carefully. She can see the purpose in it, perhaps, but as someone who has bonded too easily since she was young, having the Force taken from her, having those bonds gone... It's not something she would wish to happen to other people.]

And did you find what your mentor had wanted you to discover?

[soloing]

She was fond of saying "Is it what the teacher teaches or the learner learns?" I think that in itself was her greater lesson.