Unravel
I need to cause in the recent days my level of stress has been mounting to unhealthy levels. There is so much on my mind right now that I can't think straight enough to wash my own hair in the mornings
For real I was getting the shower the other morning and I was thinking about everything that is out there right now and I completely forgot to wash my hair!
Anyway it seems like there is no balance in saving people I try my best to help everyone and in the end someone gets harmed and I feel like the person who either let them down or am the main cause of such. These recent days have been interesting to say the least. I know I should be keeping company to keep my mind from getting filled but it doesn't seem to help cause ignoring is the last thing I would want to do. Cause that makes thing stack higher in the long run. Not to meantion the hurt I've caused a genuiely nice person who didn't deserve any pain that I caused I've got the level of health that my grandmother is going through and the thoughts of how my family is going through all of it.
Something else to add in all of this is that at work the people that I do ads for are displeased at things and now I have someone looking over my shoulder all the time. When i thought I was doing good. This all takes me back to earlier this year when I was getting pounded for not doing a good job. This is very disheartening to me cause I take pride in the things I do and I feel like I try my best. That pressure now is affecting me in that I'm missing small things and that's making me feel worse cause it seems like all the stresses of life are making it so that I can't focus on things. Focus is something I need for sure now more than ever.
I've got to find a solution to all of this before I devolve into a mad person and fall completely apart. These things are the worse. A) harming someone B)failing at work and feeling like even when I do my best it's not enough and C) Just finding ways to get by.
I'm looking forward to my trip home as I seek advice from my grandfather. He always seems to be the one with the words to say that make the most sense to me. Not saying I don't appreciate all the support my friends give me cause I care for you all. I just want to make it to the new year and see if better things are on the horizon. I do my best to make it each day and now it seems to be at it's hardest and I'm sure the rough and gloomy weather has a part in it.
Even as I write all this though I feel a bit better about getting it out there but mostly for my own purpose of seeing it all. I'm kind of tired and I'm probably going to be now so Good Night to all I shall see you another day.
For real I was getting the shower the other morning and I was thinking about everything that is out there right now and I completely forgot to wash my hair!
Anyway it seems like there is no balance in saving people I try my best to help everyone and in the end someone gets harmed and I feel like the person who either let them down or am the main cause of such. These recent days have been interesting to say the least. I know I should be keeping company to keep my mind from getting filled but it doesn't seem to help cause ignoring is the last thing I would want to do. Cause that makes thing stack higher in the long run. Not to meantion the hurt I've caused a genuiely nice person who didn't deserve any pain that I caused I've got the level of health that my grandmother is going through and the thoughts of how my family is going through all of it.
Something else to add in all of this is that at work the people that I do ads for are displeased at things and now I have someone looking over my shoulder all the time. When i thought I was doing good. This all takes me back to earlier this year when I was getting pounded for not doing a good job. This is very disheartening to me cause I take pride in the things I do and I feel like I try my best. That pressure now is affecting me in that I'm missing small things and that's making me feel worse cause it seems like all the stresses of life are making it so that I can't focus on things. Focus is something I need for sure now more than ever.
I've got to find a solution to all of this before I devolve into a mad person and fall completely apart. These things are the worse. A) harming someone B)failing at work and feeling like even when I do my best it's not enough and C) Just finding ways to get by.
I'm looking forward to my trip home as I seek advice from my grandfather. He always seems to be the one with the words to say that make the most sense to me. Not saying I don't appreciate all the support my friends give me cause I care for you all. I just want to make it to the new year and see if better things are on the horizon. I do my best to make it each day and now it seems to be at it's hardest and I'm sure the rough and gloomy weather has a part in it.
Even as I write all this though I feel a bit better about getting it out there but mostly for my own purpose of seeing it all. I'm kind of tired and I'm probably going to be now so Good Night to all I shall see you another day.