summatime update
The Sigma-Nu frat thing didn't happen, and probably isn't. They gave me a time I could renew the bid, and join if I really wanted to. I'm not sure if I do though, that's the thing. I'm sure I don't, which is a reason I declined. That and I don't want to devote a portion of myself to something which deserves more. The next three years are gonna be about my acting, improving on it, and otherwise performing. I need all 100% of me to focus on that, and I can't do that while focusing on a brotherhood, who for all I know could have the best of intentions, but in the end isn't for me.
So I'm back home, been home for a while now. Got a job at Subways, and my old one back at FYE; so I'll be makin money this summer. My plans are to chill an work, plain an simple. Don't really see that changing anytime soon. I did notice one thing though since I've been back home. I find myself getting pissed off about shit moreso than I did before. Before something would happen or someone would say something and I'd shrug it off or pretend it didn't happen, but now I find myself wantin to beat someone's ass. I talked to some people I kno and they decided that I'm just tired of puttin up with so much bullshit; which is true. cause what does it get me really? a few headaches, and me wishing i said something when i didn't. i'm just tired of it is all.
I just spent the past 5 five minutes deletin my old blogs because of how ridiculous they were. I hate looking back at how i used to be: so fucking naive, so oblivious to how life really is, and living in my little bubble seperated from the rest of the world. It's annoying to think that I used to think like that. I'm not really mad at myself, but i am at the same time. I can't be mad for passing through that phase of my life, i just feel like it went on for longer than it should have. There was that part of me that just refused to see things for what they were, and instead changed them so i saw what i wanted. i know i shouldn't dwell too much on the past, or whatever the fuck i used to be. the best thing i can do right now is just accept how i used to be an move on to how i am.
So I'm back home, been home for a while now. Got a job at Subways, and my old one back at FYE; so I'll be makin money this summer. My plans are to chill an work, plain an simple. Don't really see that changing anytime soon. I did notice one thing though since I've been back home. I find myself getting pissed off about shit moreso than I did before. Before something would happen or someone would say something and I'd shrug it off or pretend it didn't happen, but now I find myself wantin to beat someone's ass. I talked to some people I kno and they decided that I'm just tired of puttin up with so much bullshit; which is true. cause what does it get me really? a few headaches, and me wishing i said something when i didn't. i'm just tired of it is all.
I just spent the past 5 five minutes deletin my old blogs because of how ridiculous they were. I hate looking back at how i used to be: so fucking naive, so oblivious to how life really is, and living in my little bubble seperated from the rest of the world. It's annoying to think that I used to think like that. I'm not really mad at myself, but i am at the same time. I can't be mad for passing through that phase of my life, i just feel like it went on for longer than it should have. There was that part of me that just refused to see things for what they were, and instead changed them so i saw what i wanted. i know i shouldn't dwell too much on the past, or whatever the fuck i used to be. the best thing i can do right now is just accept how i used to be an move on to how i am.