the past
How do I allow it to bother me
how do I continue to allow it to affect me
Why can't I just let it lie
why won't I just leave it alone
Like picking at a scab, or trying to turn a twisted ankle
Just leave it be
Why do continue to feel foolish?
why do I continue to allow myself to be hurt?
why can't I push myself forward?
why can't I trust someone again?
Like knowing better has taught me strength
perhaps it's only taught me fear
Why do you still lie
why do i still care?
why can't you own up to your mistakes?
why can't I not be upset by your mistakes anymore?
I HATE THIS FEELING!!
I hate being bothered by you and your lies.
I hate allowing you in at all
I hate listening to any of your lies and your tall tales
I hate you and your stories
I hate it...
and I must let it go in order to let go of the hate...
But how???
I'm tired, and I'm glad that core exams are over. That last one didn't go as well as I had hoped, but I'm seriously praying that they'll grade with some serious partial credit. I went out friday night and fell down and hurt my foot. I'm wearing a boot now. I hope it heals ok. I'm retarded, what can I say?
Got a midterm next week, and a project due too. But it's not all that important. I feel like I'm in a lull now. I just can't get motivated to do anything. Hope this feeling doesn't last too much longer b/c I have stuff to do.