(no subject)
Got about 5 hours of sleep last night. Probably will get less tonight.
1st period ASL: Manual exams went alright. We watched the Princess Bride while drawing a layout of our houses. I know every word to that movie. It's great.
2nd period Economics: bleh. I spent time copying notes I already had and didn't realize it. Which means, on top of doing the project that's due tomorrow, I have to write the essay we were supposed to be doing during class.
3rd period Lit: Not bad. Not great. New desk arrangement that left me feeling naked. Horrible, horrible writing. Worst I've written all year I'll bet. Like an 8th grader. Unfocused, no purpose, just CRAP.
4th period Drama TA: typed up the cast party announcement and ran copies for Ms. P
So, it's not been a great day. Hasn't been Alexander's (was that his name?) terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, but, well... bleh.
Got another "Gee, sorry, you're a really great kid but we're not giving you any money" letter today. *sigh*
Freddy and I are fighting. ish. or... I dunno. Not quite sure what it is/is about. Everything I guess. Life. Which is understandable. And, it's mostly due to miscommunication and one person. Yea. That'd be me. Because I'm... Well, me. One of our main troubles is what's happening when I go to or go off to college. It needs to be addressed, but I don't know how to. Which, isn't fair to him, but that's the way it is. I don't really feel prepared (or feel like I should have to be prepared) to say never or forever before I leave. Bleh... whatever... I don't even know why I'm talking about this.
I got my phone battery today. Which kind of ticks me off because the old one is working again finally.
Cap and gown pictures tomorrow. *sigh* bleh
Also, I've been thinking for a while about changing journals. I am REALLY tired of this name after a year. So, I'm thinking about a new name and friends only. Just cuz. I hate this name. I'm trying to find something with meaning. I think I have, but I'm still on the search.
So, God and I are at an impasse of sorts. Well, I am with God anyway. I'm sure He doesn't have much of a problem with me other than I'm contributing virtually nothing to the relationship, but it's just little things like that... *rolls eyes* Idiot... (me, not Him) I really need to be convicted of all the crap and filth I've got in my life. I'm having a real hard time bringing myself around though, of caring, of following through. I really need to start listening to Him, seeking His will. I've got the Belize mission trip just two short weeks away, things Freddy and I have to get right on and decide on, and a college to decide on. And just my daily life. My attitude, thoughts, actions, words. I want what *UPDATED* Yoon has with God, and what Mark has with Him, I want what Victoria's got, what Eric has. And I know how to get. And yet I refuse to pick myself up and take a step to the left. I have trust issues. I know that God knows far more than I, and He knows better than I what I need and how to fulfill my life, but I can bring myself to trust for fear of what it will mean in my life.
How does one get over that?
1st period ASL: Manual exams went alright. We watched the Princess Bride while drawing a layout of our houses. I know every word to that movie. It's great.
2nd period Economics: bleh. I spent time copying notes I already had and didn't realize it. Which means, on top of doing the project that's due tomorrow, I have to write the essay we were supposed to be doing during class.
3rd period Lit: Not bad. Not great. New desk arrangement that left me feeling naked. Horrible, horrible writing. Worst I've written all year I'll bet. Like an 8th grader. Unfocused, no purpose, just CRAP.
4th period Drama TA: typed up the cast party announcement and ran copies for Ms. P
So, it's not been a great day. Hasn't been Alexander's (was that his name?) terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, but, well... bleh.
Got another "Gee, sorry, you're a really great kid but we're not giving you any money" letter today. *sigh*
Freddy and I are fighting. ish. or... I dunno. Not quite sure what it is/is about. Everything I guess. Life. Which is understandable. And, it's mostly due to miscommunication and one person. Yea. That'd be me. Because I'm... Well, me. One of our main troubles is what's happening when I go to or go off to college. It needs to be addressed, but I don't know how to. Which, isn't fair to him, but that's the way it is. I don't really feel prepared (or feel like I should have to be prepared) to say never or forever before I leave. Bleh... whatever... I don't even know why I'm talking about this.
I got my phone battery today. Which kind of ticks me off because the old one is working again finally.
Cap and gown pictures tomorrow. *sigh* bleh
Also, I've been thinking for a while about changing journals. I am REALLY tired of this name after a year. So, I'm thinking about a new name and friends only. Just cuz. I hate this name. I'm trying to find something with meaning. I think I have, but I'm still on the search.
So, God and I are at an impasse of sorts. Well, I am with God anyway. I'm sure He doesn't have much of a problem with me other than I'm contributing virtually nothing to the relationship, but it's just little things like that... *rolls eyes* Idiot... (me, not Him) I really need to be convicted of all the crap and filth I've got in my life. I'm having a real hard time bringing myself around though, of caring, of following through. I really need to start listening to Him, seeking His will. I've got the Belize mission trip just two short weeks away, things Freddy and I have to get right on and decide on, and a college to decide on. And just my daily life. My attitude, thoughts, actions, words. I want what *UPDATED* Yoon has with God, and what Mark has with Him, I want what Victoria's got, what Eric has. And I know how to get. And yet I refuse to pick myself up and take a step to the left. I have trust issues. I know that God knows far more than I, and He knows better than I what I need and how to fulfill my life, but I can bring myself to trust for fear of what it will mean in my life.
How does one get over that?