What Does Sonia Do All Day?
My coworker asked me to write up a press release today on a phony property, just for some Friday fun. This is what I sent to her. The company's name has been changed, of course.
RANDOM REAL ESTATE COMPANY LISTS FAMOUS 150-UNIT APARTMENT COMMUNITY IN CONCORD, CALIF., FOR $25.6 MILLION
CONCORD, Calif., March 27, 2008 - Random Real Estate Company has retained the exclusive listing for the legendary Crackside Apartments, a 150-unit multi-family community in Concord. The listing price is $25.6 million.
Luke Lucas, a senior citizen and director of the firm’s National Multi Family Group (NAMBLA), is representing the seller, who may or may not be in some sort of legal trouble and in desperate need of money.
“Featured on several episodes of ‘Cops’ and the local news almost nightly, Crackside Apartments represents an excellent value-add opportunity for an investor,” says Lucas.
Located on the corner of Crackside Road and Bum Boulevard, the apartment community is situated on a 6.75-acre lot in the neighborhood affectionately referred to as “The Little Tenderloin.”
Built before there was such a thing as a Department of Building Inspection, this garden-style apartment community features studio, one-, two- and three-bedrooms units. Many units also feature a mini-storage area that residents may rent out to the homeless. Unit amenities include windows, carpeting, roof, multiple electricity outlets, smoke detectors (batteries not included), and spacious closets, which perfect for hanging clothes or yourself. Community amenities include a lagoon that used to be a swimming pool, portal to another world, pay phones in the hallways, family-style restrooms and easy access to recreational areas and drugs.
RANDOM REAL ESTATE COMPANY LISTS FAMOUS 150-UNIT APARTMENT COMMUNITY IN CONCORD, CALIF., FOR $25.6 MILLION
CONCORD, Calif., March 27, 2008 - Random Real Estate Company has retained the exclusive listing for the legendary Crackside Apartments, a 150-unit multi-family community in Concord. The listing price is $25.6 million.
Luke Lucas, a senior citizen and director of the firm’s National Multi Family Group (NAMBLA), is representing the seller, who may or may not be in some sort of legal trouble and in desperate need of money.
“Featured on several episodes of ‘Cops’ and the local news almost nightly, Crackside Apartments represents an excellent value-add opportunity for an investor,” says Lucas.
Located on the corner of Crackside Road and Bum Boulevard, the apartment community is situated on a 6.75-acre lot in the neighborhood affectionately referred to as “The Little Tenderloin.”
Built before there was such a thing as a Department of Building Inspection, this garden-style apartment community features studio, one-, two- and three-bedrooms units. Many units also feature a mini-storage area that residents may rent out to the homeless. Unit amenities include windows, carpeting, roof, multiple electricity outlets, smoke detectors (batteries not included), and spacious closets, which perfect for hanging clothes or yourself. Community amenities include a lagoon that used to be a swimming pool, portal to another world, pay phones in the hallways, family-style restrooms and easy access to recreational areas and drugs.