Title: Tangled In White
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Joonmyun/Sehun
Length: 3900w
Author's Note: originally written as a pinch for suhoney.
Summary: The problem with feelings is that they hit when least expected.
The entire damn thing was a mistake.
Joonmyun should have known better, should have known that Sehun would be trouble the first night that he saw him. But Joonmyun had been lured in by bedroom eyes, a teasing tongue over pink lips and the promise of a long body spread before him. He’d fallen for the temptation of pale skin blossoming into red beneath his fingertips and fingers curled in his hair as Sehun sank down on his cock oh so slowly.
Sehun is a beautiful disaster that blew in so fast that Joonmyun didn’t have a chance to put up a fight before it was too late. Sehun is so easy, so responsive, so eager for it that it was only too easy to fall into his web.
Joonmyun likes to think it’s because his defenses were down. He is on vacation, a break that he's earned through countless nights spent at the office instead of sleeping, closing deals that no one else in the company could close. This is his reward, the fruits of his labor, and Joonmyun had expected to spend two weeks lazing in the sun, soaking up the royal treatment while taking in the sites and fine cuisine.
What he's gotten is the company of a limber, energetic man a few years his younger who has decided Joonmyun is his favorite theme park ride. It started with a shared look over drinks in the resort lounge, Joonmyun dressed in a loose cotton shirt and white pants to temper the heat of the day, and Sehun in jeans that molded lovingly along the curves of his ass, paired with a tank top that dipped sinfully low on the sides.
Joonmyun had expected one night, at best, with Sehun, because Joonmyun has never been one to hold someone's interest for longer than a casual fling. But Sehun had still been there in the morning, tangled in white linen with no intention of leaving. Joonmyun had made himself an itinerary to make the best of his vacation. It now sits balled up in the bottom of the trashcan, forgotten.
It's been nine agonizingly wonderful days of sleeping, lazing around the pool area, and Sehun spreading his legs for Joonmyun's cock. He knows just what to say to have Joonmyun pressing him into crisp sheets, locking his legs around Joonmyun's waist as he rocks into Sehun slowly, thrusting languidly until Sehun begs for him to go faster, harder, bruise me.
The problem with this arrangement - with the fact that Sehun has abandoned his own suite in favor of Joonmyun's - is that Joonmyun is becoming attached. Beautiful, soft-spoken, but unabashedly honest Sehun has wiggled his way not only into Joonmyun's bed, but into his heart. Joonmyun is under no illusions. He knows this is an escape for the both of them. They don't talk about their lives, don't talk about work or home or past relationships save the time Sehun let it slip that he only usually dates guys taller than himself and clearly he's been missing out.
Whatever this is that they have, it's meant to stay here, tucked away with the tourists and the staff who strip away the soiled sheets.
They're eating a simple breakfast on the balcony; Joonmyun's boss had gotten him a great view over the pool that overlooks the ocean in the distance. Joonmyun had meant to visit the beach and try his hand at hunting for seashells to bring back with him. He hasn't had the opportunity yet.
Across from him, Sehun looks tired, but happy, the wind blowing through his hair and the marks Joonmyun had left behind the night before littered down his chest. He rarely wears clothing unless they leave the room. Sehun is devastatingly attractive, alluring even when he's not trying to be.
He licks a stray drop of coffee from the corner of his mouth and Joonmyun can feel himself reacting to the pink of Sehun's tongue. He knows exactly what that tongue can do - has done. There are even pictures of it on Joonmyun's phone, a video that Sehun had asked him to record as he dropped to his knees, blinking up at Joonmyun with wide, pleading eyes just before he sucked him off in one of the public gazebos with only gauzy drapes to keep them out of sight.
Joonmyun has never met anyone who appreciates the quiet like he does. They can sit out on the balcony without saying a word for hours and be perfectly content. He's also never met anyone who clings to him as much, always wanting to find a way to touch. Even now, his foot his brushing idly against Joonmyun's ankle.
This is just a fling, but Joonmyun can't help the way his heart thunders when they're out in public, Sehun holding his hand, occasionally nuzzling against Joonmyun's neck, especially if there are other people around.
It's just a fling.
So why does Joonmyun dread every passing morning, his heart aching at the thought of not waking up to see Sehun beside him, pouting because Joonmyun is pulling out of his hold, it's too cold, come back to bed with me.
He's afraid to ask. Joonmyun looks at Sehun, watches him and admires while holding his tongue. If he says something to Sehun about wanting more, he's afraid that Sehun will end things immediately. Joonmyun has four more days before he has to go back to the real world, leaving this bubble of paradise. He doesn't know what he'd do if he couldn't spend those days with Sehun.
It's cause for panic. Joonmyun doesn't get attached. He's been in relationships where he's tried to get attached, tried to do what they wanted of him, and it never took. He was too distant, too cold. With Sehun, it's the opposite. He never wants to let him go, never wants the marks and bruises he's left on Sehun's skin to have the chance to fade.
Sehun smells like Joonmyun, tastes like the strawberries that had been piled on his waffles, feels warm beneath Joonmyun's fingers when they fall back onto the bed. Sehun's lips are stained red, a whine dying in his throat when Joonmyun curls his fingers around Sehun's cock, teasing as he scrapes his teeth down to Sehun's nipple.
Sehun is so fucking beautiful, head thrown back and Joonmyun's name spilling from his mouth as Joonmyun pushes his thighs to his chest, nudging his cock against Sehun's rim before sliding in, slick and smooth. Sehun grabs for the sheets, letting out a frustrated noise when he gets a pillow instead. He throws it to the floor, nearly pulling the fitted sheet from the mattress as he fucks himself down on Joonmyun's cock.
Joonmyun scrapes his nails down Sehun's thighs to feel the way he shudders, gasping out Joonmyun's name while begging for more. Always more. Sehun bends, trembles, comes with a soft cry, lips bitten and his hands already searching for Joonmyun. Joonmyun leans over him, kisses Sehun deeply as he fills the condom, hips stuttering forward.
Three days.
Sehun likes to swim. Joonmyun thinks it's because he knows how ethereal he looks with the sun glistening off his skin, the shimmer of water clinging to him as he smiles sweetly at Joonmyun who is sitting off to the side. Joonmyun prefers the hot tub, but it's too early, too hot, for it now.
"Join me," Sehun tempts, muscles flexing as he easily pushes himself from the water, turning to pad over to where Joonmyun is laying in the sun. Sehun drips all over him, unapologetic as he tugs on Joonmyun's arm, threatening to sit on him if he doesn't come play with him.
Joonmyun eyes the other guests in the pool warily. There are families, small children kept afloat with bright plastic rings and parents staying within arm's reach. Joonmyun is certain that Sehun doesn't have innocent intentions, but he folds so easily under Sehun's pleading.
Joonmyun burns easily under the sun and he's slippery with sunblock; being in the water only makes it worse and he grimaces, but it's all worth it when Sehun is beaming at him. He has to admit that the cool water feels amazing and Sehun's arms around him from behind feel better. Sehun drops a kiss on Joonmyun's shoulder and Joonmyun shudders. Joonmyun is taken off guard, letting out a shriek when Sehun lifts him from the water and tosses him.
Sehun is laughing when Joonmyun surfaces, pushing wet hair from his face. "You're going to pay for that," Joonmyun threatens.
"Oh I hope so," Sehun answers, tongue licking over his lower lip as he raises an eyebrow in challenge.
Joonmyun does not win the fight in the pool. His victory comes later, with Sehun sinking down on his cock, his fingers holding tight to the arm of the chair because Joonmyun is sunburned and they're trying to be careful. It doesn't stop Joonmyun from leaning forward, an arm around Sehun's waist so he can tongue over Sehun's nipple, drawing deep moans that echo in the night air.
This isn't the first time they've foregone common sense and had sex out on the balcony. It's late and the chances of anyone else being out is slim. Still, it's exciting doing it like this, having to bring Sehun down to muffle his moans in a kiss as he rocks himself purposely on Joonmyun's cock.
Sehun moves down, letting Joonmyun guide his ups and downs as he nips along Joonmyun's jaw, trails downward to suck a dark mark beneath Joonmyun's ear. Joonmyun thinks about doing this in his apartment, taking Sehun against every surface, listening to Sehun calling his name and falling into bed after, knowing that when he wakes, Sehun will still be there. Joonmyun squeezes his eyes shut, willing the thoughts away.
He chases off the lingering ache by thrusting harder into Sehun, holding his hips still and fucking up into his warm, tight ass until they're both coming. Sehun is shaking, whimpering and Joonmyun kisses him until he calms, tasting the smile on Sehun's lips.
They take their second shower of the day. The first was to wash away the chlorine from the pool; the second is so Joonmyun can press Sehun to the shower wall, fingers gentle around his rim as he gets Sehun off with his fingers and mouth, Sehun's hands tugging hard in his hair and the water too soft to drown out the sound of Sehun's moans.
Joonmyun later falls asleep to Sehun's breathing and the weight of Sehun's arm over his chest, Sehun's face pushed to his shoulder.
Two days.
Joonmyun thinks about pulling out his laptop that he hasn't bothered unpacking, booting it up and emailing his boss that he's never coming back. It's certainly a better alternative to getting out of a warm bed, leaving behind a warmer, inviting body. Sehun appears so innocent when he's sleeping, so vulnerable and every part of Joonmyun wants to protect him, keep him at his side to take care of him.
Joonmyun understands that Sehun is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but that doesn't matter. Joonmyun wants to do it. He almost believes that if he asked Sehun, Sehun would let him. Almost.
There's a boardwalk that Joonmyun has been meaning to go to. It would be a shame if he didn't bring back souvenirs for himself and his friends. He'll never hear the end of it if he doesn't find some colorful knick-knack Baekhyun can add to the pile on his desk. He prods gently at Sehun, soothing over the crease between Sehun's eyebrows with his thumb as Sehun wakes up, against his will.
"It's not noon yet," Sehun grumbles. "Go back to sleep."
While Joonmyun appreciates Sehun's determination to lounge in bed, Joonmyun is awake and he's going to go out. He tells Sehun as much, getting a tug on his wrist as Sehun pouts at him, teeth scraping temptingly along his lip. "Without me?" Sehun mumbles. His voice is thick with sleep, his hair a complete mess. He looks divine.
It would be easy to give in, but Joonmyun needs to stop falling further and start breaking away. "Go back to sleep," he says softly. "I'll be back before you wake up again."
Even as Sehun huffs and groans and tells Joonmyun that he’s the worst, Joonmyun finds himself walking along the crowded boardwalk with Sehun at his side. Sehun has a loose hold on Joonmyun’s hand, but a stronger hold on his heart. He earns himself many kisses and several trinkets of his own with his deceptively sweet smiles. Sehun buys them lunch, then ice cream, taunting Joonmyun out in the open with swipes of his tongue over butter pecan.
This is bliss. Tranquility. Joonmyun wants to tuck this memory into one of those cheap snow globes and store it away to shake up whenever he’s lonely.
Sehun thanks him later, an almost bashful upturn of his lips and his hands smoothing down the back of Joonmyun’s shirt until he’s cupping Joonmyun’s ass. Sehun’s mouth is hot on his, tongues sliding together and breathing muted as Sehun grinds his hips forward. Sehun has Joonmyun pinned to the door of his suite, but it’s Joonmyun who is in charge. He’s the one who gets their jeans down their thighs, his hand around their cocks as Sehun whines into his mouth, against his neck when he needs to pull away to breathe.
It’s Joonmyun who elicits the most delicious of noises from Sehun’s perfect, pouty lips, Joonmyun who has learned how to tug just right on Sehun’s cock to have him breathing out his name, begging to come. It’s Joonmyun who allows Sehun to come, but it’s Sehun whose fist slides slick around Joonmyun’s cock, wet with his own come as he urges Joonmyun to finish. “Want to feel you come,” Sehun croons in his ear. “Want to see you.”
Sehun’s forehead is pressed to his, their eyes locked when Joonmyun’s mouth drops in a silent moan, translucent white wetting Sehun’s fingers and Joonmyun’s shirt. It’s Sehun who wipes up the mess - with Joonmyun’s shirt - and coaxes Joonmyun to bed. Joonmyun goes willingly, lethargic because he’s still nursing a sunburn and that always takes so much out of him. Sehun slides in naked beside him and Joonmyun reaches out, thumbing over one of the bruises on Sehun’s hips.
“Does it hurt?” Joonmyun asks, eyes fixed on the splotchy brown and purple mark.
Sehun hums. “I like it that way.”
Joonmyun does too.
One day.
Joonmyun decides this is the one day that he absolutely must get down to the beach. He’s lucky that Sehun seems to agree, the pair walking hand in hand down the resort’s wooden pathway all the way to the sand. It’s a decently long walk, but neither of them speak more than to point out things along the way.
Joonmyun finally gets his chance to go hunting for seashells. Once he admits to Sehun what he’s doing, Sehun crouches beside him, bumping shoulders with Joonmyun and smiling as he helps. Sehun is a lot better at this than Joonmyun.
“I would do this when I was a kid,” Sehun confesses. “My mom would put the shells in her garden.”
“I don’t have a garden,” Joonmyun replies. “But one day I might.” One day he hopes to move from his apartment in the city and into a house of his own. One day he hopes to have someone at his side to fill that house with him. Joonmyun peers at Sehun, his long fingers digging carefully into wet sand, and he aches.
They fill the two small plastic bags Joonmyun brought and linger along the shore until the sun drops low in the sky. Joonmyun lists against Sehun on their walk back, breathing him in. Sehun drapes his arm over Joonmyun’s shoulder, taking both bags of shells so they aren’t between them.
It doesn’t resonate with Joonmyun that this is really it, this is their last night together, until they’re back in the room and Sehun is hunched over the bathroom sink, rinsing the sand from each shell and setting them carefully on a towel to dry.
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Joonmyun announces in a quiet voice.
Sehun pauses, his focus still on the shell in his hands. “I know.”
Sehun goes back to cleaning the shells and Joonmyun starts in on packing his things. He never did use the dresser provided for him. He’s always been the type to live out of his suitcase, especially when he knows he’s just going to have to pack it all back up in a few days. He should have unpacked. He should have made himself more at home because then it would have taken longer to pack and there wouldn’t be this awkward silence between them.
Sehun’s bags have always been in a perpetual state of ready to walk out the door. Joonmyun never really questioned it before.
Joonmyun thinks about telling Sehun how he feels. He thinks about the right words, how he would say to Sehun that he wants to see him again, that he hopes their paths will cross outside of this place. In the end, Joonmyun holds his tongue. Sehun looks drained, and Joonmyun can already feel the fear prickling at his skin at the thought of Sehun rejecting him.
Sehun is no less clingy, curling arms around Joonmyun when they’re in bed, playing the big spoon as Joonmyun struggles to fall asleep. He can hear Sehun’s even breathing, but sleep isn’t Joonmyun’s friend tonight. It’s elusive, dodging every attempt Joonmyun makes to catch it, taunting him until the sun is spilling over the horizon, flooding the room with muted light.
Joonmyun doesn’t want to move. He could waste away here, with Sehun at his side, letting the world pass them by. If Joonmyun were a richer man, a more reckless type, he would try to convince Sehun to run away with him. It sounds terribly romantic. Joonmyun isn’t a romantic. For Sehun he could be. Is. Joonmyun is romantic for Sehun.
The wake up call comes in and Joonmyun answers before the shrill ring can wake Sehun. He acknowledges his check out time and hangs up. When he looks over his shoulder, Sehun’s eyes are open and focused on him. All the things Joonmyun wants to say choke in his throat. He wordlessly slips out of bed, padding toward the bathroom.
Sehun is still in bed when Joonmyun comes out, although he’s sitting, his legs over the side and head in his hands. Joonmyun wants to reach out to him, smooth his hands down the planes of Sehun’s back and draw him into his arms. He wants to make so many promises that he’ll take care of him, but he doesn’t know if they’re wanted. Would Sehun even want boring business man Joonmyun outside of the walls of this escape??
Joonmyun is too scared of the answer to ask.
There isn’t much left for Joonmyun to pack away. The seashells are the last thing to go in his suitcase, placed back in their bags and wrapped in dirty laundry so they aren’t broken. It feels so final, so empty when he’s ready to leave.
“Is this really it?” Sehun asks. There’s a tremor in his voice and when Joonmyun looks over at him in surprise, he’s met with wide, unsure eyes. “Is this how you break my heart? By walking out after spending two weeks together?”
Joonmyun swallows.
“I thought maybe you’d at least ask for my phone number to make it look like you cared.” Sehun’s eyes are swimming with unshed tears and Joonmyun’s heart crumbles.
Sehun is back to vulnerable, arms around himself and his stare on his suitcase on the ground beside him. Joonmyun takes two strides to stand in front of Sehun, cupping his face in his hands.
“I didn’t think you wanted more,” Joonmyun confesses in a whisper. His throat feels tight, his eyes stinging. “I was too afraid that you would tell me no.”
Sehun lets out a distressed sort of laugh. “I was supposed to leave three days ago,” he says. “I’ve been using up my sick days just to stay one more day with you.”
Joonmyun drags Sehun down for a kiss, his heart thundering in his ears. Sehun winds his arms around Joonmyun’s waist, holding him tight. “I would bring you home with me if I could,” Joonmyun tells him.
“I can’t do that,” Sehun says with a sigh. “But I can give you my number and we can try?”
“I’d love that,” Joonmyun tells him, stroking so softly over Sehun’s handsome face. “I don’t want to lose this.”
Sehun slides his hand over Joonmyun’s linking their fingers together and squeezing. “Walk me out?”
Joonmyun nods, his heart a lot lighter now that the promise of something more is nestling its way inside him. Sehun is just as clingy, just as indulgent with his kisses when Joonmyun leaves him at his shuttle. They part with a sweet kiss and Sehun squeezing Joonmyun’s ass as he walks off. Joonmyun’s heart skips a beat.
It’s not a happily ever after, everything tied together with a neat bow and the two of them riding off into the sunset together. But it’s a start. Joonmyun gets to go back home, standing in the airport with his suitcase, smiling from ear to ear because Sehun has been nonstop texting him. He sent Joonmyun his address earlier and he plugged it into his phone, his heart tripping over itself in excitement when he learned that Sehun lives just one city over, less than an hour away.
Tomorrow, Joonmyun will decompress from having spent two weeks in paradise. And then he’ll go back to work on Monday, diving into well established patterns and client files that have no doubt been stacked on his desk.
But when he gets home, he’ll call Sehun and that’s what matters. He’s going to make it work. And it’s going to be amazing.
One month later
“Hey,” Sehun says over the phone, sounding out of breath. Joonmyun pauses, setting down the files in his hands and sitting in his chair. It’s the middle of the day and Sehun never calls until he’s home from work.
“Is something wrong?” he asks, fingers fiddling nervously with his tie.
Sehun lets out a soft laugh. “Joonmyun,” he breathes again. “Tell me what you’re wearing.”
Joonmyun swallows, a curl of arousal dripping hot into his gut. He gets up to lock his office door, leaning against it after as his cock hardens in his slacks. He runs his palm down the length, shuddering out a sigh as he listens to Sehun’s soft noises on the phone.
“Promise me,” Sehun says, his voice raspy and deep. “Promise me you’ll let me fuck you when you’re in your suit. I want to ride you while holding your tie.”
Sehun - sweet, brazen, confident Sehun - is the best thing that’s ever happened to Joonmyun. How can he ever say no?