[Fic] I’m Twisted Up (When I’m Twisted With You)
Title: I’m Twisted Up [When I’m Twisted With You]
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Jongdae/FEMALE!Joonmyun
Length: 4500w
Warning: female joonmyun, brief use of a sex toy, jongdae
Author's Note: Written for a prompt over at exopromptmeme.
Summary: Joonmyun finds herself calling up her best friend, Jongdae, for a problem she thought she'd never need his help with.
Joonmyun is sprawled upside-down on her recliner, feet near the top and head almost hanging over the edge of the seat. She’s just small enough that she doesn’t need the footrest out to hold up her weight. She has one hand underneath her small nightshirt, forefinger and thumb rolling her nipple, pinching occasionally when she thinks she’s almost there. Her other hand is occupied between her legs, knees fallen open and hips lifting as she works a vibrator in and out of herself. The low buzzing of the toy is only drowned out by her little gasps and sighs of pleasure.
Her head tips back, pink lips parted as she sucks in a deep breath, thighs tensing and feet arching into the soft cushion as she feels the pressure build. She fucks herself with the vibrator faster, harder and it feels so good that she’s rocking her hips down, trying to bring herself to climax.
The problem with this is that it’s never happened before. Joonmyun is an adult woman with enough sexual experience from previous boyfriends to know that something is possibly wrong with her. She hears her friends talking about mind-blowing orgasms that leave them a puddle of jelly on the mattress and it’s hard not to get jealous because she’s never experienced one. It’s probably her mindset, too worried and focused on the end that her body can’t let go enough to get there, but she can’t help it. She’s a natural worrier.
She’s also stubborn.
It takes until her arm is too weak to keep moving and her calves are starting to cramp before she lets out a noise of frustration and stops. The vibrator is turned off and set aside on the pile of tissues she’d laid out earlier. There’s sweat itching everywhere and she rubs the cramp out of her leg with a pout, close to sobbing because this just isn’t fair. She’s sore and turned on and can’t get the relief she needs.
Instead of sulking, Joonmyun rolls out of the chair and pulls her long black hair into a messy ponytail before padding into her bathroom. She wipes herself down with a rag and slips on a pair of underwear, the lacey kind that make her feel sexy. And because she has all this pent up energy, she starts cleaning - as always.
With the leftovers from dinner stored in the refrigerator so she can have them for lunch at work on Monday, and the dishes washed and dried and put away, Joonmyun starts on the living room. She dusts and wipes down already clean surfaces and sulks as she does it, trying to come up with a solution to her problem.
The thought comes unbidden, halting her mid-stride as she’s vacuuming and she stops, bottom lip in her teeth as her eyes dart over to her cellphone on the mantle. If there’s anyone in the world who Joonmyun trusts and loves and cherishes the most, it’s Jongdae - her best friend. He’s been by her side for nearly a decade, protecting her from pervs and letting her use him as her personal punching bag. He’s picked up the pieces after every broken heart and been there each time she falls for someone new.
Now Joonmyun doesn’t think of Jongdae in a romantic way; he’s her rock, her pillar of support and the one person she doesn’t think she can get through life without. But it doesn’t stop her from toying with this new idea. Jongdae’s had plenty of girlfriends himself and Joonmyun’s been close with a few of them. And not a single one of them has come to her with complaints about him in bed. In fact, he’s received raving reviews from them all, whether she wanted to hear them or not.
It’s a last ditch effort, all pride gone because there’s still an unbearable throbbing between her legs and Jongdae is one call away. Mulling it over one last time, Joonmyun figures she doesn’t have much to lose. Jongdae will either say yes or laugh it off.
Speed dial one and the phone is ringing, Joonmyun tapping on the back cover with her nail out of nervousness. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Jongdae answers and Joonmyun can’t help but relax a degree.
“I’m calling in a friend card,” she replies. It’s Saturday night and Jongdae is single, which means he’s at home, sitting on his couch with a tub of ice cream as he watches action movies. Usually Joonmyun is there with him, but she’d begged off this evening for obvious reasons.
“First you blow off our night and then you ask for a favor.” Jongdae clucks his tongue. “Not the greatest lead-in.”
“Jongdae,” Joonmyun whines and she hears a sigh on the other end.
“What is it that you want?”
This is the hard part and Joonmyun scrunches her nose, trying to come up with the best way to word her request. She can’t just blurt it out without an explanation and she’s not even sure he’d be willing to accept. Now the nerves are eating away at her. “You see,” she starts, now bouncing on the balls of her feet in the middle of the living room. “I’ve heard all these stories about your sex life - most of them I didn’t want to hear but had to endure anyway because you never seem to date women who can keep their mouths shut - and from what I understand, you’re pretty good and I was hoping that maybe you could help me with a little problem. If you don’t want to, I totally understand but there’s no one else I can turn to and I’m at my wit’s end and Jongdae please, just -”
“You’re rambling,” Jongdae cuts in. “Are you drunk? It’s only eight.”
“This isn’t a drunk call,” Joonmyun says with a stomp of her foot. “It’s a desperate and horny call so do you want to come over here and get me off or not?”
There’s silence on the other end. Joonmyun holds her breath, biting the inside of her cheek as she awaits an answer. It feels like an eternity, listening to rustling over the receiver and the sound of something hitting the floor.
“I’ll be over in a few.”
The tension bleeds out of Joonmyun’s shoulders and she slumps. “Thank you.”
Jongdae has a problem.
Jongdae has a problem and her name is Joonmyun. She’s not a problem wherein he doesn’t want to be around her or anything like that, but rather the fact that he’s been stupid in love with her for the last six years or so. It started off as a crush he thought would run its course and then fade away. He was so wrong. And now he finds himself purposely dating women who are the exact opposite of Joonmyun simply so he doesn’t start comparing the two.
He toyed with the idea of asking Joonmyun out once, but then realized he was so far in that he couldn’t imagine life without her. So he held his tongue, pushed his emotions down because seeing her smiling at his side as his best friend was far better than her disappearing and taking his heart with her.
Which brings him to questioning everything he’s ever known as he stands outside her door, fist raised to knock, but stopping just before making contact. For a brief moment he thinks she’s discovered his true feelings and is pulling a prank on him, but Joonmyun isn’t the type. She’s caring and sweet and loyal to a fault, going out of her way to make everyone she’s ever met feel welcome and liked even if they’re cruel to her in return. It’s a character flaw Jongdae adores. One of many, in fact.
A smile slips onto his face and his knuckles tap against the wood in three quick successions of two, a beat in between. It’s his knock.
The door opens and Jongdae isn’t prepared to see a disheveled Joonmyun, wearing only a shirt that barely comes down to her thighs and her hair falling out of its ponytail. Yet he finds the sight irresistible, already swallowing down the desire the rush in and take her small form in his arms, pin her to the couch or the shower wall or even the window as he takes her over and over. His fists clench and he returns the bright, relieved smile that brightens her face.
“You’re here,” she breathes, dancing out of his reach on her tiptoes, something he’s learned she does when she’s feeling cautious, unsure, like she’s worried one heavy step will bring everything crumbling down.
“I said I would be,” is his response, slipping off his sneakers and leaving them beside hers before he closes the door. “Did you think I’d leave my best buddy hanging?”
And there he goes, using their friendship as a shield to hide how he feels. Every time he uses the word ‘friend’ or ‘buddy’ or ‘pal’ it sends a pang through his chest, like someone out there is trying to remind him that it’s a lie.
“I know I’m asking a lot.” The smile on her face is gone, replaced with uncertainty and furrowed eyebrows. Her fingers are twisting, hands in front of her as she stares at his feet.
Unlike the butterflies that usually assault his stomach during their times alone when it’d be so easy to draw her in and kiss her, pterodactyls feel the need to take flight. Everything lurches and Jongdae struggles to maintain his composure, take the few steps toward Joonmyun with a lot more confidence than he feels. With fingers under her chin, he lifts her face. “Since when have I ever been able to say no to you?” He ends the question with a teasing lilt and a flick to the tip of her nose that has her laughing.
“You are so full of cheese,” Joonmyun snorts, arms lifting enough for him to see a hint of black as she nervously pulls at her ponytail.
Friend-mode back on. “So,” Jongdae begins with a clap of his hands. “Where’s this party going to take place? Couch? Kitchen counter? Washing machine?”
Joonmyun rolls her eyes and grabs his wrist, guiding him down to her bedroom. “If you’re going to keep talking, you might as well put that tongue to use.”
Jongdae doesn’t have a comeback for that, a newly emptied mind filling with all sorts of scenarios involving Joonmyun panting underneath him, screaming his name. His dick starts swelling in his jeans.
There’s a plastic tub on Joonmyun’s bed and Jongdae gravitates to it, eyes widening when he sees the array of sex toys she owns. “Whoa. Did your exes know about your stash?” he asks before picking one up. It’s pink and rubbery and when he presses a button on the end, the tip starts swiveling in a circle. “Cause this is intimidating. My dick doesn’t do this.”
Joonmyun plucks the toy from his hand and turns it off, tossing it back in the tub before she snaps the lid on and moves it onto the floor. “Desperate times call for desperate measures, but it’s not like any of those were any better.”
Jongdae is fully aware of how none of Joonmyun’s ex-boyfriends had ever been able to get her off and how she resorted to faking it just so it would be over. And every conversation they had about it left him begging for just ten minutes between her legs with his tongue. But now something else is nagging him. “Not any better?” Jongdae’s eyes dart to her face, watching the faint dusting of pink darkening on her cheeks. “Have you never -?”
“No,” she admits with a defeated sigh. “And I really, really need to, so could we please -” Joonmyun gestures to the bed and Jongdae gets it. His heart is pounding in his chest and he thinks this is a fucking terrible idea, but as a friend, he doesn’t want to let her down either. And if he has the chance to do something for her no one else can, he’s going to damn sure take it.
Jongdae manages to nod, tongue thick in his mouth as he watches Joonmyun drawing her shirt up and over her head. They’ve known each other far too long to not have caught glimpses, seen each other in bathing suits or underwear, but this is different. It’s uncharted territory and Jongdae practically salivates when he sees her bare breasts - the skin pale and unmarred and her nipples a dusky pink. They’re not too big or too small, somewhere in the area of a B cup and Jongdae thinks it’s the perfect handful.
Joonmyun doesn’t seem to be aware of his blatant oogling, arousal surging its way through his veins as she takes her hair down, letting it fall over her shoulders and spill down her back. And then he follows her hands with his eyes, watching them drift down to black lace panties, fingers hooking in the sides before she’s shimmying them down her thighs.
There’s a rectangular patch of hair, everything else shaved bare and if there was any doubt of how much he wanted her, it’s gone. Everything in him screams out, wants to devour her from head to toe and all his bottled up affection is breaking through the cracks.
This isn’t about me.
This isn’t about me.
This isn’t about me.
Oh holy shit is that a heart shaped birthmark on her left ass cheek?
Joonmyun is climbing onto her bed, settling back against a stack of pillows and Jongdae is still standing there like an idiot. She raises an eyebrow at him and he can tell she’s nervous even if she looks composed. Ridding himself of his shirt, Jongdae crawls over her cautiously, keeping eye contact instead of staring at her body so she relaxes and he can see Joonmyun looking far more at ease by the time he’s between her legs and face to face.
“Your pants,” she mumbles.
“Trust me,” Jongdae breathes before ducking his head, leaning his weight on an elbow so he’s not touching her. And then he presses his lips to her neck, just under her left ear and Joonmyun gasps. As much as he wants to kiss her on the mouth, taste her and swallow down her noises, it’s too personal a thing for him to do when it’s not real. This isn’t real for her.
Joonmyun’s heart is threatening to break through her chest, each beat harder than the last until all she can hear is the dull thud against her ribs. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands, unsure if it’s alright to touch and in the end, she settles for lightly holding on to Jongdae’s arms. His biceps flex under her fingertips as he trails kisses lower and lower, her breath hitching when his tongue flicks at her nipple.
She can’t tell if the intense throbbing between her legs is because of Jongdae or a revival of the leftover attempt at finishing herself off earlier. The way Jongdae grazes his teeth over one nipple and then the other definitely isn’t helping and she can’t help the way her grip tightens, knees bending and closing in to bracket his hips. She wants more, needs to be touched and he’s being slow.
Open mouth kisses rain across her chest, down her stomach and with each one, a little piece of Joonmyun’s insecurity about this situation chips away until she’s left panting, one hand tangled in Jongdae’s hair and the other fisted in the sheets. Their eyes meet, Joonmyun peering down as Jongdae looks up from between her legs and there’s something there, a skip in her heart that almost hurts. Joonmyun’s stomach tightens, her mouth falls open, but before she can say anything, Jongdae is licking her.
He teases along her pussy, just enough to add his saliva to the wetness already soaking her. Her thighs tremble in anticipation, watching with greedy eyes as Jongdae finally slips his tongue between her folds with a solid, strong swipe. “Ohgod.”
This isn’t the first time a guy has gone down on her, but none of them felt like this, like they knew what they were doing. Jongdae gently maneuvers one of her thighs over his shoulder, spreading her open further and Joonmyun is too turned on to be embarrassed. She watches until she can’t anymore, her head falling back in her pillow as her hips shift down, wanting more. He dips his tongue inside her and Joonmyun moans, trying to grind herself on his face because she needs to come right fucking now.
Jongdae’s mouth pulls away and before Joonmyun can complain, he’s kissing along her lower stomach and two fingers are sliding inside her. She can’t do anything save roll her hips, try to get them deeper as Jongdae leaves little marks on her skin. It’s building, her breathing picking up and sweat sliding down her neck and Joonmyun whimpers, hoping for a miracle.
His fingers crook and Joonmyun cries out. She looks down, watching Jongdae’s mouth as it leaves searing kisses and licks and teeth marks. A whine of frustration escapes and her face screws up, concentrating on the feel of his fingers working in and out, his lips on her, how amazing he looks between her legs and oh fuck.
Jongdae lifts his eyes and there’s something about the look on his face that makes her swallow, try to stifle her noises. “Stop thinking,” Jongdae whispers. “Stop thinking and let go.”
Joonmyun watches as he shifts down, his tongue circling her clit before his lips wrap around it and suck. Her jaw falls open, everything stopping save the way he’s staring at her, eyes half-lidded and full of promise and Joonmyun crashes. Her voice cracks on a high-pitched moan, hips lifting off the mattress and grinding into his face for more as he keeps up the pressure, fingers moving and tongue insistent. It’s more than she’d expected, unable to breathe as she shakes and her muscles contract and pulses of unadulterated pleasure flood her body.
Jongdae doesn't stop until her thigh begins twitching and she groans at the loss of contact. He's moving her, letting her leg fall back onto the bed so he can rest his weight on his elbows, placing them on either side of her hips. He looks pleased with himself and Joonmyun lets out a soft laugh because he has every reason to be smug. "How do you feel?" he asks after her breathing is down to a somewhat normal rate.
Joonmyun makes this noise in the back of her throat. "Wonderful." Jongdae's smile widens. "And tired."
"Then go to sleep," he instructs, lifting onto his knees to give her space.
"Wait." Joonmyun sits up, blinking away a wave of dizziness as she reaches for Jongdae's arm. "You -" She doesn't know the right way to say it so she uses her free hand to gesture to the very visible tent in the front of his jeans.
Jongdae glances at it and shrugs. "I'll be fine."
Joonmyun tugs at his arm, pouting because she knows he can't say no to her when she does it. "What kind of friend would I be if I left you hanging?" she says, a repeat of what he’d said to her earlier. And suddenly that word friend feels foreign on her tongue, like it's the wrong term.
"Joonmyun, it's fine," he insists, but she's already scooting down, hands on his jeans so she can get them down. It's obvious that he's still going to try and talk her out of it, so Joonmyun quickly slips her hand inside, lets her palm drag down his cock. He thrusts into it and she knows she's won, managing to get his jeans and boxers down his hips. He's hard and hot, larger than she'd thought and Joonmyun tries not to focus on how he would feel inside her. It sends a wave of arousal through her still groggy system that she fights off because it's not about her anymore.
Jongdae falls forward, his head hanging over hers as she strokes him, thumbs over the crown and drags down to the base. Joonmyun speeds, tightens her hold so he can thrust into her grip. His breath fans across her face and it smells like her and it sends this yearning through Joonmyun's gut, makes her want him to only ever be like this for her. It's dangerous territory, off limits, but she can't help it. It clings to her, makes her bite her lip so she doesn't say something stupid.
The closer he gets, the faster he moves, hips surging forward and back as Joonmyun twists and pumps to bring him over the edge. She wants to kiss him, nearly does until she regains her senses. Instead, she noses along his jaw, lets her lips brush under his ear and down until she's a hairsbreadth away from his mouth. "Jongdae," she whispers.
"Joonmyun," he moans and it's all over. Jongdae comes over her stomach and chest and Joonmyun strokes him through it until he's slumping, barely holding himself up. "Thank you."
Joonmyun laughs and knocks her knee against his leg. "Now let's go to sleep."
Jongdae isn't there in the morning and Joonmyun sits on the edge of her bed, head in her hands as she mulls over the previous evening's events in her head. She knows there was a shift, something that changed in their relationship and suddenly she's afraid.
What if she's ruined everything?
Calling on her best friend for a favor is one thing, but falling for him is another completely. With a groan, she finally gets up and heads to the shower, skin still sticky even after being toweled off. She washes away the last remnants of their night and then Joonmyun thunks her head against the tiled wall, wondering if maybe there's some small part of Jongdae that might want her too.
There's only one way to find out.
Jongdae looks down at his phone and sees Joonmyun's name pop up for the hundredth time. He presses the end call button and slides the device over the table and away from him. There's this weight settled in his chest and he feels sick. He should have said no when she called last night, acted like it was a joke and forced her to come over so they could watch a movie like always. They had a routine and it helped him keep things in check, but now it's in pieces.
Jongdae is in pieces.
He figures he has about a week of being able to ignore Joonmyun before she comes knocking on his door demanding answers. That's a week to figure this out and deal with the consequences. It's a week to decide if he wants to tell her how much he loves her or bury it all again and keep the status quo.
The only problem with this plan is that a week passes and he’s still just as lost. And Joonmyun is, indeed, slamming her fist on his door and yelling for him to open up or she’s going to smash in his window and climb inside. It’s not an idle threat because she’s done it before. Joonmyun is a patient woman, but when it runs out, you’re better off doing what she says without question.
Jongdae takes in a deep breath and finally twists the knobs, lets Joonmyun brush passed him so he can’t force her out (like he did once and she’ll never let him forget it).
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she accuses off the bat, standing in his living with her arms crossed, hip cocked and foot tapping. He’s in so much trouble, but that doesn’t stop him from admiring how hot she looks when she’s pissed. She’d clearly just tossed something on without thinking this morning because normally she’d never be seen in jeans that ripped and a shirt that barely comes down to cover her stomach. Before he can answer, she beats him to it. “Is it because of Saturday night? Did I do something wrong? If you didn’t want to, you could have said no. You didn’t have to -”
“Stop,” he interrupts, taking a step toward her, unsure if he wants to move closer or further away now that she looks so upset, so close to tears. “It’s not you, it’s -”
“I swear I will punch you in the dick if you give me a line,” Joonmyun threatens.
“But it is me,” Jongdae says, already drawing back in preparation because Joonmyun looks livid. She storms over and he cups his hands over his crotch, hoping she’ll be merciful.
“Tell me what’s going on,” she demands, her jaw set and eyes narrow as she stares him down.
It’s now or never and as tempting as never sounds, he realizes he’s doing neither of them any good by holding this all in. It’s not fair and it needs to come out one way or another. “The truth?” Joonmyun nods and Jongdae braces himself. “I’m so in love with you that it hurts and all I want to do is be the only one for you and I’m so stupid for not telling you sooner.”
Joonmyun is stunned, her eyes wide and mouth open, head tilted just slightly to the right. Jongdae holds his breath. “Yes,” Joonmyun says a moment later. “You are stupid.”
Jongdae’s heart sinks to his stomach.
“But I think I’m stupider for not realizing sooner,” she continues and suddenly Joonmyun is so close.
“I don’t think stupider is a word,” he chokes out, staring at her lips.
Joonmyun has both hands on his face, guiding him down for a kiss that leaves him reeling and confused. He pulls back, hands over hers. “You can’t do this without meaning it. You’re it for me.”
“Shut up and kiss me,” Joonmyun orders and she stands on her toes, pressing her lips to his again.
They have a lot to talk about, technical things like where they’re going to go from here and how many children she wants to have, but that might be jumping the gun. For now, Jongdae is satisfied with getting her into his bed, sealing their mouths together as he makes love to her for the rest of the day.
Joonmyun’s back arches off the mattress and Jongdae wraps his arms around her waist to hold her up as he thrusts slower, watches her melt. She's long since given up begging, nails scraping trails down his back as she silently urges him to go faster. He doesn’t and she whimpers, gasps and tenses because she’s already so close.
Jongdae leans down enough to nip at her earlobe. “No faking with me,” he commands.
“I don’t have to with you,” she whispers back, head turning so she can stare into his eyes as their bodies keep moving together.
“Good, because we have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
Joonmyun looks like she wants to hit him, but then her first orgasm of the day hits and Jongdae doesn’t falter, doesn’t stop. He’ll never stop.
- - -
i really hope this is in the ballpark of what you were wanting
in other news, epm is bad for bunny
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Jongdae/FEMALE!Joonmyun
Length: 4500w
Warning: female joonmyun, brief use of a sex toy, jongdae
Author's Note: Written for a prompt over at exopromptmeme.
Summary: Joonmyun finds herself calling up her best friend, Jongdae, for a problem she thought she'd never need his help with.
Joonmyun is sprawled upside-down on her recliner, feet near the top and head almost hanging over the edge of the seat. She’s just small enough that she doesn’t need the footrest out to hold up her weight. She has one hand underneath her small nightshirt, forefinger and thumb rolling her nipple, pinching occasionally when she thinks she’s almost there. Her other hand is occupied between her legs, knees fallen open and hips lifting as she works a vibrator in and out of herself. The low buzzing of the toy is only drowned out by her little gasps and sighs of pleasure.
Her head tips back, pink lips parted as she sucks in a deep breath, thighs tensing and feet arching into the soft cushion as she feels the pressure build. She fucks herself with the vibrator faster, harder and it feels so good that she’s rocking her hips down, trying to bring herself to climax.
The problem with this is that it’s never happened before. Joonmyun is an adult woman with enough sexual experience from previous boyfriends to know that something is possibly wrong with her. She hears her friends talking about mind-blowing orgasms that leave them a puddle of jelly on the mattress and it’s hard not to get jealous because she’s never experienced one. It’s probably her mindset, too worried and focused on the end that her body can’t let go enough to get there, but she can’t help it. She’s a natural worrier.
She’s also stubborn.
It takes until her arm is too weak to keep moving and her calves are starting to cramp before she lets out a noise of frustration and stops. The vibrator is turned off and set aside on the pile of tissues she’d laid out earlier. There’s sweat itching everywhere and she rubs the cramp out of her leg with a pout, close to sobbing because this just isn’t fair. She’s sore and turned on and can’t get the relief she needs.
Instead of sulking, Joonmyun rolls out of the chair and pulls her long black hair into a messy ponytail before padding into her bathroom. She wipes herself down with a rag and slips on a pair of underwear, the lacey kind that make her feel sexy. And because she has all this pent up energy, she starts cleaning - as always.
With the leftovers from dinner stored in the refrigerator so she can have them for lunch at work on Monday, and the dishes washed and dried and put away, Joonmyun starts on the living room. She dusts and wipes down already clean surfaces and sulks as she does it, trying to come up with a solution to her problem.
The thought comes unbidden, halting her mid-stride as she’s vacuuming and she stops, bottom lip in her teeth as her eyes dart over to her cellphone on the mantle. If there’s anyone in the world who Joonmyun trusts and loves and cherishes the most, it’s Jongdae - her best friend. He’s been by her side for nearly a decade, protecting her from pervs and letting her use him as her personal punching bag. He’s picked up the pieces after every broken heart and been there each time she falls for someone new.
Now Joonmyun doesn’t think of Jongdae in a romantic way; he’s her rock, her pillar of support and the one person she doesn’t think she can get through life without. But it doesn’t stop her from toying with this new idea. Jongdae’s had plenty of girlfriends himself and Joonmyun’s been close with a few of them. And not a single one of them has come to her with complaints about him in bed. In fact, he’s received raving reviews from them all, whether she wanted to hear them or not.
It’s a last ditch effort, all pride gone because there’s still an unbearable throbbing between her legs and Jongdae is one call away. Mulling it over one last time, Joonmyun figures she doesn’t have much to lose. Jongdae will either say yes or laugh it off.
Speed dial one and the phone is ringing, Joonmyun tapping on the back cover with her nail out of nervousness. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Jongdae answers and Joonmyun can’t help but relax a degree.
“I’m calling in a friend card,” she replies. It’s Saturday night and Jongdae is single, which means he’s at home, sitting on his couch with a tub of ice cream as he watches action movies. Usually Joonmyun is there with him, but she’d begged off this evening for obvious reasons.
“First you blow off our night and then you ask for a favor.” Jongdae clucks his tongue. “Not the greatest lead-in.”
“Jongdae,” Joonmyun whines and she hears a sigh on the other end.
“What is it that you want?”
This is the hard part and Joonmyun scrunches her nose, trying to come up with the best way to word her request. She can’t just blurt it out without an explanation and she’s not even sure he’d be willing to accept. Now the nerves are eating away at her. “You see,” she starts, now bouncing on the balls of her feet in the middle of the living room. “I’ve heard all these stories about your sex life - most of them I didn’t want to hear but had to endure anyway because you never seem to date women who can keep their mouths shut - and from what I understand, you’re pretty good and I was hoping that maybe you could help me with a little problem. If you don’t want to, I totally understand but there’s no one else I can turn to and I’m at my wit’s end and Jongdae please, just -”
“You’re rambling,” Jongdae cuts in. “Are you drunk? It’s only eight.”
“This isn’t a drunk call,” Joonmyun says with a stomp of her foot. “It’s a desperate and horny call so do you want to come over here and get me off or not?”
There’s silence on the other end. Joonmyun holds her breath, biting the inside of her cheek as she awaits an answer. It feels like an eternity, listening to rustling over the receiver and the sound of something hitting the floor.
“I’ll be over in a few.”
The tension bleeds out of Joonmyun’s shoulders and she slumps. “Thank you.”
Jongdae has a problem.
Jongdae has a problem and her name is Joonmyun. She’s not a problem wherein he doesn’t want to be around her or anything like that, but rather the fact that he’s been stupid in love with her for the last six years or so. It started off as a crush he thought would run its course and then fade away. He was so wrong. And now he finds himself purposely dating women who are the exact opposite of Joonmyun simply so he doesn’t start comparing the two.
He toyed with the idea of asking Joonmyun out once, but then realized he was so far in that he couldn’t imagine life without her. So he held his tongue, pushed his emotions down because seeing her smiling at his side as his best friend was far better than her disappearing and taking his heart with her.
Which brings him to questioning everything he’s ever known as he stands outside her door, fist raised to knock, but stopping just before making contact. For a brief moment he thinks she’s discovered his true feelings and is pulling a prank on him, but Joonmyun isn’t the type. She’s caring and sweet and loyal to a fault, going out of her way to make everyone she’s ever met feel welcome and liked even if they’re cruel to her in return. It’s a character flaw Jongdae adores. One of many, in fact.
A smile slips onto his face and his knuckles tap against the wood in three quick successions of two, a beat in between. It’s his knock.
The door opens and Jongdae isn’t prepared to see a disheveled Joonmyun, wearing only a shirt that barely comes down to her thighs and her hair falling out of its ponytail. Yet he finds the sight irresistible, already swallowing down the desire the rush in and take her small form in his arms, pin her to the couch or the shower wall or even the window as he takes her over and over. His fists clench and he returns the bright, relieved smile that brightens her face.
“You’re here,” she breathes, dancing out of his reach on her tiptoes, something he’s learned she does when she’s feeling cautious, unsure, like she’s worried one heavy step will bring everything crumbling down.
“I said I would be,” is his response, slipping off his sneakers and leaving them beside hers before he closes the door. “Did you think I’d leave my best buddy hanging?”
And there he goes, using their friendship as a shield to hide how he feels. Every time he uses the word ‘friend’ or ‘buddy’ or ‘pal’ it sends a pang through his chest, like someone out there is trying to remind him that it’s a lie.
“I know I’m asking a lot.” The smile on her face is gone, replaced with uncertainty and furrowed eyebrows. Her fingers are twisting, hands in front of her as she stares at his feet.
Unlike the butterflies that usually assault his stomach during their times alone when it’d be so easy to draw her in and kiss her, pterodactyls feel the need to take flight. Everything lurches and Jongdae struggles to maintain his composure, take the few steps toward Joonmyun with a lot more confidence than he feels. With fingers under her chin, he lifts her face. “Since when have I ever been able to say no to you?” He ends the question with a teasing lilt and a flick to the tip of her nose that has her laughing.
“You are so full of cheese,” Joonmyun snorts, arms lifting enough for him to see a hint of black as she nervously pulls at her ponytail.
Friend-mode back on. “So,” Jongdae begins with a clap of his hands. “Where’s this party going to take place? Couch? Kitchen counter? Washing machine?”
Joonmyun rolls her eyes and grabs his wrist, guiding him down to her bedroom. “If you’re going to keep talking, you might as well put that tongue to use.”
Jongdae doesn’t have a comeback for that, a newly emptied mind filling with all sorts of scenarios involving Joonmyun panting underneath him, screaming his name. His dick starts swelling in his jeans.
There’s a plastic tub on Joonmyun’s bed and Jongdae gravitates to it, eyes widening when he sees the array of sex toys she owns. “Whoa. Did your exes know about your stash?” he asks before picking one up. It’s pink and rubbery and when he presses a button on the end, the tip starts swiveling in a circle. “Cause this is intimidating. My dick doesn’t do this.”
Joonmyun plucks the toy from his hand and turns it off, tossing it back in the tub before she snaps the lid on and moves it onto the floor. “Desperate times call for desperate measures, but it’s not like any of those were any better.”
Jongdae is fully aware of how none of Joonmyun’s ex-boyfriends had ever been able to get her off and how she resorted to faking it just so it would be over. And every conversation they had about it left him begging for just ten minutes between her legs with his tongue. But now something else is nagging him. “Not any better?” Jongdae’s eyes dart to her face, watching the faint dusting of pink darkening on her cheeks. “Have you never -?”
“No,” she admits with a defeated sigh. “And I really, really need to, so could we please -” Joonmyun gestures to the bed and Jongdae gets it. His heart is pounding in his chest and he thinks this is a fucking terrible idea, but as a friend, he doesn’t want to let her down either. And if he has the chance to do something for her no one else can, he’s going to damn sure take it.
Jongdae manages to nod, tongue thick in his mouth as he watches Joonmyun drawing her shirt up and over her head. They’ve known each other far too long to not have caught glimpses, seen each other in bathing suits or underwear, but this is different. It’s uncharted territory and Jongdae practically salivates when he sees her bare breasts - the skin pale and unmarred and her nipples a dusky pink. They’re not too big or too small, somewhere in the area of a B cup and Jongdae thinks it’s the perfect handful.
Joonmyun doesn’t seem to be aware of his blatant oogling, arousal surging its way through his veins as she takes her hair down, letting it fall over her shoulders and spill down her back. And then he follows her hands with his eyes, watching them drift down to black lace panties, fingers hooking in the sides before she’s shimmying them down her thighs.
There’s a rectangular patch of hair, everything else shaved bare and if there was any doubt of how much he wanted her, it’s gone. Everything in him screams out, wants to devour her from head to toe and all his bottled up affection is breaking through the cracks.
This isn’t about me.
This isn’t about me.
This isn’t about me.
Oh holy shit is that a heart shaped birthmark on her left ass cheek?
Joonmyun is climbing onto her bed, settling back against a stack of pillows and Jongdae is still standing there like an idiot. She raises an eyebrow at him and he can tell she’s nervous even if she looks composed. Ridding himself of his shirt, Jongdae crawls over her cautiously, keeping eye contact instead of staring at her body so she relaxes and he can see Joonmyun looking far more at ease by the time he’s between her legs and face to face.
“Your pants,” she mumbles.
“Trust me,” Jongdae breathes before ducking his head, leaning his weight on an elbow so he’s not touching her. And then he presses his lips to her neck, just under her left ear and Joonmyun gasps. As much as he wants to kiss her on the mouth, taste her and swallow down her noises, it’s too personal a thing for him to do when it’s not real. This isn’t real for her.
Joonmyun’s heart is threatening to break through her chest, each beat harder than the last until all she can hear is the dull thud against her ribs. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands, unsure if it’s alright to touch and in the end, she settles for lightly holding on to Jongdae’s arms. His biceps flex under her fingertips as he trails kisses lower and lower, her breath hitching when his tongue flicks at her nipple.
She can’t tell if the intense throbbing between her legs is because of Jongdae or a revival of the leftover attempt at finishing herself off earlier. The way Jongdae grazes his teeth over one nipple and then the other definitely isn’t helping and she can’t help the way her grip tightens, knees bending and closing in to bracket his hips. She wants more, needs to be touched and he’s being slow.
Open mouth kisses rain across her chest, down her stomach and with each one, a little piece of Joonmyun’s insecurity about this situation chips away until she’s left panting, one hand tangled in Jongdae’s hair and the other fisted in the sheets. Their eyes meet, Joonmyun peering down as Jongdae looks up from between her legs and there’s something there, a skip in her heart that almost hurts. Joonmyun’s stomach tightens, her mouth falls open, but before she can say anything, Jongdae is licking her.
He teases along her pussy, just enough to add his saliva to the wetness already soaking her. Her thighs tremble in anticipation, watching with greedy eyes as Jongdae finally slips his tongue between her folds with a solid, strong swipe. “Ohgod.”
This isn’t the first time a guy has gone down on her, but none of them felt like this, like they knew what they were doing. Jongdae gently maneuvers one of her thighs over his shoulder, spreading her open further and Joonmyun is too turned on to be embarrassed. She watches until she can’t anymore, her head falling back in her pillow as her hips shift down, wanting more. He dips his tongue inside her and Joonmyun moans, trying to grind herself on his face because she needs to come right fucking now.
Jongdae’s mouth pulls away and before Joonmyun can complain, he’s kissing along her lower stomach and two fingers are sliding inside her. She can’t do anything save roll her hips, try to get them deeper as Jongdae leaves little marks on her skin. It’s building, her breathing picking up and sweat sliding down her neck and Joonmyun whimpers, hoping for a miracle.
His fingers crook and Joonmyun cries out. She looks down, watching Jongdae’s mouth as it leaves searing kisses and licks and teeth marks. A whine of frustration escapes and her face screws up, concentrating on the feel of his fingers working in and out, his lips on her, how amazing he looks between her legs and oh fuck.
Jongdae lifts his eyes and there’s something about the look on his face that makes her swallow, try to stifle her noises. “Stop thinking,” Jongdae whispers. “Stop thinking and let go.”
Joonmyun watches as he shifts down, his tongue circling her clit before his lips wrap around it and suck. Her jaw falls open, everything stopping save the way he’s staring at her, eyes half-lidded and full of promise and Joonmyun crashes. Her voice cracks on a high-pitched moan, hips lifting off the mattress and grinding into his face for more as he keeps up the pressure, fingers moving and tongue insistent. It’s more than she’d expected, unable to breathe as she shakes and her muscles contract and pulses of unadulterated pleasure flood her body.
Jongdae doesn't stop until her thigh begins twitching and she groans at the loss of contact. He's moving her, letting her leg fall back onto the bed so he can rest his weight on his elbows, placing them on either side of her hips. He looks pleased with himself and Joonmyun lets out a soft laugh because he has every reason to be smug. "How do you feel?" he asks after her breathing is down to a somewhat normal rate.
Joonmyun makes this noise in the back of her throat. "Wonderful." Jongdae's smile widens. "And tired."
"Then go to sleep," he instructs, lifting onto his knees to give her space.
"Wait." Joonmyun sits up, blinking away a wave of dizziness as she reaches for Jongdae's arm. "You -" She doesn't know the right way to say it so she uses her free hand to gesture to the very visible tent in the front of his jeans.
Jongdae glances at it and shrugs. "I'll be fine."
Joonmyun tugs at his arm, pouting because she knows he can't say no to her when she does it. "What kind of friend would I be if I left you hanging?" she says, a repeat of what he’d said to her earlier. And suddenly that word friend feels foreign on her tongue, like it's the wrong term.
"Joonmyun, it's fine," he insists, but she's already scooting down, hands on his jeans so she can get them down. It's obvious that he's still going to try and talk her out of it, so Joonmyun quickly slips her hand inside, lets her palm drag down his cock. He thrusts into it and she knows she's won, managing to get his jeans and boxers down his hips. He's hard and hot, larger than she'd thought and Joonmyun tries not to focus on how he would feel inside her. It sends a wave of arousal through her still groggy system that she fights off because it's not about her anymore.
Jongdae falls forward, his head hanging over hers as she strokes him, thumbs over the crown and drags down to the base. Joonmyun speeds, tightens her hold so he can thrust into her grip. His breath fans across her face and it smells like her and it sends this yearning through Joonmyun's gut, makes her want him to only ever be like this for her. It's dangerous territory, off limits, but she can't help it. It clings to her, makes her bite her lip so she doesn't say something stupid.
The closer he gets, the faster he moves, hips surging forward and back as Joonmyun twists and pumps to bring him over the edge. She wants to kiss him, nearly does until she regains her senses. Instead, she noses along his jaw, lets her lips brush under his ear and down until she's a hairsbreadth away from his mouth. "Jongdae," she whispers.
"Joonmyun," he moans and it's all over. Jongdae comes over her stomach and chest and Joonmyun strokes him through it until he's slumping, barely holding himself up. "Thank you."
Joonmyun laughs and knocks her knee against his leg. "Now let's go to sleep."
Jongdae isn't there in the morning and Joonmyun sits on the edge of her bed, head in her hands as she mulls over the previous evening's events in her head. She knows there was a shift, something that changed in their relationship and suddenly she's afraid.
What if she's ruined everything?
Calling on her best friend for a favor is one thing, but falling for him is another completely. With a groan, she finally gets up and heads to the shower, skin still sticky even after being toweled off. She washes away the last remnants of their night and then Joonmyun thunks her head against the tiled wall, wondering if maybe there's some small part of Jongdae that might want her too.
There's only one way to find out.
Jongdae looks down at his phone and sees Joonmyun's name pop up for the hundredth time. He presses the end call button and slides the device over the table and away from him. There's this weight settled in his chest and he feels sick. He should have said no when she called last night, acted like it was a joke and forced her to come over so they could watch a movie like always. They had a routine and it helped him keep things in check, but now it's in pieces.
Jongdae is in pieces.
He figures he has about a week of being able to ignore Joonmyun before she comes knocking on his door demanding answers. That's a week to figure this out and deal with the consequences. It's a week to decide if he wants to tell her how much he loves her or bury it all again and keep the status quo.
The only problem with this plan is that a week passes and he’s still just as lost. And Joonmyun is, indeed, slamming her fist on his door and yelling for him to open up or she’s going to smash in his window and climb inside. It’s not an idle threat because she’s done it before. Joonmyun is a patient woman, but when it runs out, you’re better off doing what she says without question.
Jongdae takes in a deep breath and finally twists the knobs, lets Joonmyun brush passed him so he can’t force her out (like he did once and she’ll never let him forget it).
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she accuses off the bat, standing in his living with her arms crossed, hip cocked and foot tapping. He’s in so much trouble, but that doesn’t stop him from admiring how hot she looks when she’s pissed. She’d clearly just tossed something on without thinking this morning because normally she’d never be seen in jeans that ripped and a shirt that barely comes down to cover her stomach. Before he can answer, she beats him to it. “Is it because of Saturday night? Did I do something wrong? If you didn’t want to, you could have said no. You didn’t have to -”
“Stop,” he interrupts, taking a step toward her, unsure if he wants to move closer or further away now that she looks so upset, so close to tears. “It’s not you, it’s -”
“I swear I will punch you in the dick if you give me a line,” Joonmyun threatens.
“But it is me,” Jongdae says, already drawing back in preparation because Joonmyun looks livid. She storms over and he cups his hands over his crotch, hoping she’ll be merciful.
“Tell me what’s going on,” she demands, her jaw set and eyes narrow as she stares him down.
It’s now or never and as tempting as never sounds, he realizes he’s doing neither of them any good by holding this all in. It’s not fair and it needs to come out one way or another. “The truth?” Joonmyun nods and Jongdae braces himself. “I’m so in love with you that it hurts and all I want to do is be the only one for you and I’m so stupid for not telling you sooner.”
Joonmyun is stunned, her eyes wide and mouth open, head tilted just slightly to the right. Jongdae holds his breath. “Yes,” Joonmyun says a moment later. “You are stupid.”
Jongdae’s heart sinks to his stomach.
“But I think I’m stupider for not realizing sooner,” she continues and suddenly Joonmyun is so close.
“I don’t think stupider is a word,” he chokes out, staring at her lips.
Joonmyun has both hands on his face, guiding him down for a kiss that leaves him reeling and confused. He pulls back, hands over hers. “You can’t do this without meaning it. You’re it for me.”
“Shut up and kiss me,” Joonmyun orders and she stands on her toes, pressing her lips to his again.
They have a lot to talk about, technical things like where they’re going to go from here and how many children she wants to have, but that might be jumping the gun. For now, Jongdae is satisfied with getting her into his bed, sealing their mouths together as he makes love to her for the rest of the day.
Joonmyun’s back arches off the mattress and Jongdae wraps his arms around her waist to hold her up as he thrusts slower, watches her melt. She's long since given up begging, nails scraping trails down his back as she silently urges him to go faster. He doesn’t and she whimpers, gasps and tenses because she’s already so close.
Jongdae leans down enough to nip at her earlobe. “No faking with me,” he commands.
“I don’t have to with you,” she whispers back, head turning so she can stare into his eyes as their bodies keep moving together.
“Good, because we have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
Joonmyun looks like she wants to hit him, but then her first orgasm of the day hits and Jongdae doesn’t falter, doesn’t stop. He’ll never stop.
- - -
i really hope this is in the ballpark of what you were wanting
in other news, epm is bad for bunny