I guess I just need to write this down.

[thesmilingkid]

There's so much that I wanted to say and I don't think I did. Maybe it will come out at some point. I'm not going to be one of those girls that just falls apart. I know I'm going to be fine. It's just the hardest thing to have to choose between what you've gotten used to and so comfortable and good and happy, and what you know deep down is the right thing to do. It's killing me inside. I've gotten pretty good at doing the 'hey I'm fine' game just because I don't want to deal with some of my friends going 'oooooooh you poor thing are you alright? ect. ect. I can't handle that right now. I don't have time to fall apart. But at the same time, I am. Even sleeping is so wierd now. There's space. I realized it this morning that I don't spread out across the bed, I just stay in the spot that I'm used to being in, because I've gotten used to someone else being there. I don't like it. The guys from the suite are all being great, I'm still invited over there whenever. I'm scared that I'll see him with someone else one night though, I don't think I could handle that. Not yet. I guess I can't avoid this forever. We've got too many friends together, campus is too small. We'll do the friends thing soon enough I'm sure. I haven't told a lot of people, including my parents. Ugh. That's not gonna happen for a while. News travels fast around here. They'll know soon enough. I'm going to be just fine. Really. I don't need your sympathy or pity. I just need to get my thoughts out sometimes. Even if they don't make sense to you. Like this. We never did watch the sunrise. I wanted to. Never got around to it. So many memories that I don't want to forget because they were so good. I'm glad it didn't end on a fight or anything bad. But it's over. It's been wonderful. I wouldn't change it for the world.
That's enough of that. It's a beautiful day.

...And all that jazz.