I found it.
It exists...and I am, quite frankly, in awe.
Most of the time, when people say that they've found the "worst MySpace profile ever," they're exaggerating. They found a bad one, sure, but they haven't found the worst profile.
Except I have. I have stumbled upon the, without a doubt, worst MySpace Profile that has ever been made. Ever. In any reality.
It burns!!