(no subject)
bare with me....
so things lately have been...well...alright i guess. im still living, thats a plus. but other things just havent been working out like ive been wanting. i should be happy..yet somehow i still cant sleep peacefully at night. i used to wake up and be excited to go to start the day. now i just want to lie in bed and not move. i barely have an appetite any more and my mind races any chance i have alone. i dont know whats wrong with me. i still love him so much. but it pains me to see him smile when i know hes not truly happy like how he used to be. (this is probably confusing to some ppl..but bare with me.) gina says "you shouldnt worry about others. for once, just worry about yourself"...its official, i have become my mother. haha hopefully thats a good thing. but i cant help but make others happy. cuz it makes me happy to see others smile. things are a bit rough right now.
ive been thinking a lot about religion. im supposed to be catholic but mom raised me to be prespeterian. she told me "just be kind to one another. and its not sinful to show the person you love your affection [just dont sleep with them...save THAT for marriage!]. god forgives. just love and never hurt any one. including yourself" i thought it was very insightful. and lately i have been learning more about the mormon religion. which kinda opens my horizons to learning new things.
the one thing im definately looking forward to is my bday party on saturday! i think it should be really special.
yeah just a little ranting and raving but i decided to update ne ways