Monsters and children and...more monsters, oh my!

[tidesnpc]

Characters: Everyone in the Badlands fighting!
Content: The Badlands is being attacked by monsters! And children!
Setting: Various places in the Badlands, plus the Convoy itself for gunners and powder monkeys
Notes: Remember, the Convoy and the Amestris are heading for the south, while Serenity is in the Garrettstown/mountains area. However, if you

Comments

[scaredbrilliant]

Justin was the only one on the ship who'd seen Ulquiorra in his released form. In the chaos of their hurried departure and the absence of a captain to make fast decisions, it took a good deal of effort and pleading to convince the people in charge that the black-winged shape following them was not a danger. Eventually, they believed him. Unlikely as it sounded, what motive could Justin possibly have for allowing an enemy to catch up with them?

Not that Ulquiorra wasn't fast enough to do so no matter how they felt about it, and likely even land despite being shot at - assuming he was unhurt, which was not a safe assumption under the circumstances. After a short while of trying to be everywhere at once, Justin went back to lean over the railing and wait for him, first aid kit in hand. He hoped he was unhurt, but didn't really expect it: Ulquiorra would have gone after opponents powerful enough to give him a challenge. But at least he was here, he told himself. The thought wasn't much help in the futile effort to calm himself. He waited, not taking his eyes off his nearing form for a moment, not noticing that he was shaking slightly in the cold wind.

[murcielago]

The flight took its toll.

Even though he had to carry his own weight, he could keep it up indefinitely -- under ordinary circumstances. Unfortunately, these circumstances were anything but ordinary. Given the energy and muscles that flying required, doing so after a long string of fights and after sustaining a chest injury made it more difficult than it usually would be. He was losing blood and he was exhausted and both physically and spiritually drained.

Still, he made it to the ship. He didn't miss Justin's presence on the deck, but he flew past him, aiming for somewhere clear to touch down. When he landed, it was heavily. His clawed feet scraped the deck and his momentum carried him a little way before he stopped. He landed upright and remained that way, his wings outstretched -- but only for a moment. His strength gave out and he dropped, his breathing laboured.

[scaredbrilliant]

He ran to him the moment he flew past the edge of the ship, his worry for him overcoming any trace of unease with the near-demonic form he may have had left. He managed to half catch him as he fell, even if he ended up losing his balance enough to go down on one knee on the deck. It was difficult to tell how much of the blood was Ulquiorra's and how badly he was hurt - Justin didn't know where to put his hands without causing him more pain, but he held him up somehow.

He looked at him, holding him close, in a moment of pure relief that he was here and alive. A faint, wordless sound escaped him before he made himself shift to trying to assess the damage.

No matter how bad it was, he knew that with Ulquiorra's innate healing ability in this form, complex medicine was unlikely to help. Still, he asked: "Do you need anything besides rest?" He was trying to be practical, to find out what should be done - but the tremor in his voice and the way he was clinging to him showed just how far from calm he really was.

[murcielago]

Ulquiorra's first instinct upon being caught was to get away from whatever held him. He struggled briefly in his grasp -- a throwback to his time on the battlefield. It quickly passed. He calmed upon recognising the voice as Justin's and simply lay in his arms, still in a state of tension due to the pain.

He gritted his teeth against it and breathed heavily through his nose, looking up at him, his pupils drawn into sharp slits and his eyelids fluttering momentarily with the resolve to stay conscious and coherent. He swallowed uncomfortably, an act that took effort, and forced his teeth apart to answer him.

"No," was his short reply, bit out around stilted breaths. "There were many."

He was alive, but due to the damage he had taken against mere monsters, just trash, it felt like an empty victory -- even a loss. He had kept his word and returned, but that was all he had achieved. Finding himself this injured showed intolerable weakness. If he couldn't get through that without ending up half dead on the deck of a ship, he was worth nothing. He should have let the last monster finish him off. His promise would have been broken, but who was he to think that such a failure would ever be required further?

He trembled in his grasp, a result of the tension and the exhaustion due to the fights and subsequent flight. His wings were torn and ragged and the evidence of his distraction in the fight showed on his stomach and chest in the form of deep, crimson claw marks. They were still bleeding -- time and rest would heal them, but the flight had done nothing but hindered the progress of his quick recovery. His fur, particularly that on his arms, was slick with the blood and ichor of the fight, but how much of the blood was his and how much belonged to the creatures that he had killed was anyone's guess.

"I barely have the strength to move," he said, his voice rasping. "Such is the cost of my weakness."

[scaredbrilliant]

It was difficult to watch Ulquiorra in so much pain, with so little he could do about it. Even worse than the clear pain was that hopeless look in his eyes, as if he saw no value in having survived at all. Justin was familiar with Ulquiorra's healing ability, and knew the wounds, horrifying as they were, would not stay that way for long. His emotional state was a different matter. He didn't know exactly what was happening, but it wasn't difficult to guess several reasons for that reaction. He only hoped their connection would be enough to pull him away from despair.

"It's all right," he told him softly, and then again, finding some of his old Supervisor's certainty to strengthen his voice: "It's all right. You don't need to move. You came back to me - I'll take care of you." He was far from meeting a Supervisor's standards of not appearing emotionally upset, but he didn't think he needed to. He didn't care that there were tears in his eyes. "All that matters is that you're back."

[murcielago]

Ulquiorra's eyes focused briefly on Justin's before he looked away and into the distance. His breathing slowed slightly and settled into a shallow rhythm, barely an improvement on his previously rattling breaths. He felt weak, so painfully, humiliatingly weak. He should have been able to get up and walk away, but he knew that his own feet wouldn't support his weight if he tried.

Justin's worry didn't go unnoticed. He had come back, yes, but what good did it do? He wouldn't be able to fight for him if they got attacked on deck.

"You needn't concern yourself with my safety," he said, his voice quiet, but clear. "I cannot fulfil my role as your bodyguard in my current state. Perhaps there was some logic in my employer's decision not to call me into service again."

Speaking took its toll on him. He inhaled deeply and gritted his teeth against the wave of pain that accompanied the intake of breath. Broken ribs and the unhealed gashes across his chest objected to the movement and every nerve seemed to scream in protest. He closed his eyes tightly until the pain subsided.

[scaredbrilliant]

It was almost too much, to think that Ulquiorra might just... give up like this. Even if he couldn't physically walk away, Justin could feel him emotionally drawing away from him, and it hurt.

"Don't." Outright pleading in his voice, now. "Please don't do this." His arms tightened around him slightly - he didn't want to cause him pain, but he couldn't stand that lack of reaction, that awful, resigned calm. "I don't care about your role, I just want you with me. I need you. Please."

He didn't know which possibility was worse: that Ulquiorra didn't believe him and really couldn't see himself as anything but a hired fighter, or that he simply didn't consider his emotions enough of a reason to want to stay alive. Whichever it was, he was scared that he might not be able to change his mind. The thought of having to watch him leave as soon as his wounds healed was too much for him to stand. He didn't want to cry, but his lips trembled and the tears fell anyway, and with Ulquiorra held in his arms there was nothing he could do to hide the pain of it.

[murcielago]

Ulquiorra looked up at him again, his forehead crinkling very slightly as his eyebrows drew together. It wasn't quite a expression of confusion, but it was close and slightly deeper than his usual scowl.

Justin knew how hurt he was -- he didn't doubt for a moment that he could tell that the pain and exhaustion was just below what he could actually stand. He knew that he wouldn't be able to fight anything if he was needed to, but he wanted to help him anyway. He was glad, relieved, that he had returned albeit in a broken state... and now he was pleading with him not to give up. Despite everything, despite the weakness he had exhibited, he still cared about him as much as he ever had, if not more, and still wanted him.

Needed him.

Justin didn't show any hint of disillusionment at the fact that he'd almost been beaten in the process, or that he would need time to recover -- that didn't seem to matter to him at all. He was just concerned that he would be all right, even if he wasn't now and he was prepared to care for him until he was. He let that sink in. He had been foolish to think that he would suddenly stop caring about him because he had been hurt like this.

When the tears fell, he knew that foolishness to be fact. It felt strange to see him cry over him, over concern for his well-being and continued safety. It sent a pang of something unpleasant through him and he realised, all at once, that he didn't want him to cry. He didn't like it when he cried. It felt, to him, nearly as bad as what he was already suffering. Ulquiorra realised then, in his strange, emotionally strangled way, that he cared about him. He wondered, vaguely, when that had started. It had been comfortable enough when he had lived empty, not having to worry or be concerned over anything but himself or his orders, but it didn't feel wrong to feel now how he was.

It didn't feel wrong to feel.

"Justin," he said, his voice soft as he raised a hand, with some degree of pain, from its limp place by his side to Justin's face. His fingers trembled, but only until he laid their tips, far too gently, on his cheek. "Don't cry."

[scaredbrilliant]

He took a deep, shaky breath, closing his eyes in relief as he saw the change in Ulquiorra's expression. The touch on his cheek drew another sound from him, almost a sob, but he didn't mean it. Not any more. When he opened his eyes, they were calm, and there was a quiet happiness in his barely-there smile. His hold on Ulquiorra relaxed a fraction; his whole body relaxed more as the tension of uncertainty and fear left it.

He shook his head. "I won't. Just don't scare me like this again."

He looked at him for confirmation, wanting to be sure there really wouldn't be any more talk of leaving or uselessness. But he knew Ulquiorra wasn't one to change his mind back and forth. If he had decided he didn't want to see him unhappy, he would not leave him.

His smile brightened, and he sighed happily, taking a moment to simply look at him. Much as he'd never expected it to happen, and certainly not like this, it was good to finally have his affection returned with no hiding behind a professional code. It made him happier than he had any right to be, with Ulquiorra so badly hurt.

[murcielago]

Ulquiorra held his hand where it was and kept it raised despite how much doing so hurt. It was important to make Justin understand that he didn't want him to cry or feel upset any more -- important to ensure that he knew he wasn't going anywhere. At that moment, it was more important than anything else going on. When he spoke, and when Ulquiorra was certain that he understood, he lowered his arm. When he did, he did it a little more roughly than he would have liked due to the strength leaving him along with the necessity of holding it there.

"I will--" he grimaced as the movement made his ribs and chest hurt once more, "--do my utmost to avoid it."

An odd kind of relief spread through him, relief that all was not lost after his near-failure, relief that he was still wanted even after this whole incident. It fought the instinct in him to stay awake for sovereignty over his consciousness. Somehow, now, he felt safe letting his guard down and the tide of exhaustion that he had been holding off since he collapsed returned with renewed vigour.

[scaredbrilliant]

"Good," he answered softly, still looking at him with that faint, quiet smile, as if nothing else in the world mattered. What just happened had been important, enough to define their relationship for years, but he wasn't, strangely enough, thinking about that. He wasn't trying to analyze anything. He was just glad to have him back and know he was going to stay with him.

As the thought of Ulquiorra's wounds forced itself back to the top of his mental priority list, a worried expression overlaid his smile, but never quite erased it. He was hurt, but he would be all right.

"Relax now. I'll take care of you."

[murcielago]

Ulquiorra didn't attempt a verbal reply, but the slight movement of his head gave the barest impression of a nod. He was able to relax -- he could do that now, with him, and not worry about it.

Reassured, he gave himself over to exhaustion as the hands of sleep pulled him under. His head turned inwards towards Justin as the tension gradually drained from him and left an easy slumber in its wake. His breathing evened out into a slow, steady rhythm and he lay there, in his arms and at his mercy, unconcerned about what tomorrow might hold.

[Continued here]