IN UR SHIP [open!]

[tidesnpc]

Characters: Anybody on the Convoy!
Content: Not content to let the crew look for his belongings, the Convoy's latest passenger does some late night snooping...wait, just where is he snooping?!
Setting: Various places throughout the Convoy
Time: Late at night, multiple days throughout their journey
Warnings: None yet
Notes: As noted earlier,

Comments

Corridor leading to such a major area as the engine room XD

[destnys_overr8d]

Being a supernatural hunter of supernatural monsters, one develops an ear for things that go bump in the night. Even if what that thing is turns out to be less than supernatural.

Still, Hellboy didn't take chances. Well, okay, yes, he did - he was notorious for it - but not in cases like this.

The demi-human was as used to operating at night as he was during the day. His body had never heard of circadian rhythms, apparently. Thus it was he was still in the engine room that night when he thought he heard someone approaching. Stealthily. Which meant they probably realized they weren't supposed to be down here. Moving with a stealth of his own that one might not expect from someone of his great size, Hellboy put down his tools and prowled out of the engine room into the corridor beyond.

When Mr. Caulcher rounded the corner, he would come face-to-collarbone with a very large, very red roadblock gazing down at him, arms crossed and yellow, pupil-less eyes glowing softly in the dimness of the hall. "Bit late for a midnight snack. And you're at the wrong end of the ship."

Corridor leading to such a major area as the engine room XD

[tidesnpc]

Caulcher jumped back with a small yelp and stared at him with a mix of fear and wide-eyed surprise. It didn't take long for him to compose himself, though, and he coughed into one hand before he cleared his throat.

"Oh, my sincerest apologies, sir." He clasped his hands together, and said, "You see, I...well, surely you've heard about the missing items by now?"

[destnys_overr8d]

Hellboy didn't budge, nor did his expression change. "I've heard. I heard a gold, animated goose found its way into one of the quartermaster's closets, I heard some of the cooks and a handful of others beat the crap out of some mysterious egg-beater babies in the kitchen, and just now, I heard a guest on this fair ship slinking around in the middle of the night into places he really shouldn't be."

His tone is level and even, almost conversational . . . but it's clear that, whatever story this joker's trying to tell, he's not buying it. He knows the captain and others on the ship have secrets to hide, and this guy right now is REEKING of creating distractions so he can poke his nose where it doesn't belong.

"You mind telling me what's really up with these missing items, and what exactly it is that they do?"

[tidesnpc]

"Oh, if you want an explanation, that's easy," he said, surprisingly unperturbed by Hellboy's thinly veiled accusation. "You see, they-"

He stopped midsentence and blinked in confusion. "Pardon me, but did you say...egg-beater babies?"

[destnys_overr8d]

Uh-huh. Either this guy was that clueless . . . or that good.

Or bad, depending on how one looked at it.

Hellboy cocked an eye at the guy. "Lemme put it this way. Don't think anyone's gotten a straight answer on what the hell a 'self-perpetuating' egg-beater is, so when one of the cooks found seven in our kitchen and couldn't say why there were so many, and no one else could remember having so many or say why we did . . . let's just say people made a few assumptions, right or wrong."

[tidesnpc]

Caulcher clucked his tongue and shook his head.

"Oh dear oh dear oh dear, that's not it at all! I suppose I should have cleared things up, but..."

He bit his lip, and said, "Well, I thought it would have been obvious."

[destnys_overr8d]

Hellboy figured he could let this guy play his game a little longer . . . assuming he was playing.

"Humor me. I probably have a different definition from yours of what's obvious."

[tidesnpc]

"Well, you see," Caulcher said. "What does an eggbeater do? Beat eggs of course! Next, let's look at what we mean by 'self-perpetuating,'" as he spoke, his hands moved about in a random manner, as if gesturing wildly would help him make his point. "It means to continue! So if something is self-perpetuating, it keeps itself going!"

He paused for a moment to make an eggbeating motion, as if a demonstration was somehow necessary.

"Therefore, a self-perpetuating eggbeater is an eggbeater that beats eggs by itself!"

[destnys_overr8d]

" . . . "

You know? He wasn't even going to honor that with a reply. Especially since he couldn't tell if the man was just playing "teacher" (albeit in one of those annoying, know-it-all respects) or was subtly insulting him.

Hellboy didn't do subtle.

"What are you doing down here at this time of night, Caulcher?"

Without a lamp or flashlight or anything, either, the demi-human couldn't help but notice. Either the man really was that lost and hadn't thought he'd need one when he left his room . . . or he really didn't need one. Should I test your darkvision, Caulcher?