[Open] When Youth Is Not Enough

[the_blue_beast]

Characters: Rock Lee, Gaara, and anyone wishing to comfort Lee
Content: After spending all of Lunasa cooped up in his room crying and moping and being the opposite of his usual youthful self thanks to Gaara's rejection of his feelings, Lee goes outside for fresh air and attempts to train, but fails because he is too miserable.
Setting: Outside of

Comments

Mahhhh Gaara-mun feels guilty for making Lee so sad! D:

[hiccup_ninja]

Gaara hadn't been much better off than Lee after their encounter, though there was definitely no crying. He had taken several short, nightmare-filled naps throughout the day (okay, a few tears might've escaped in his sleep, but good luck getting Gaara to admit it,) tore up his room a couple more times, and read and then re-read Lee's speech (which the redhead had been quite surprised to find etched onto the back of the heart-rock,) as though searching for some encrypted explanation, all the while thoroughly chewing over all of their past interactions that might have led to this.

The only thing that kept coming to mind was the kiss under the mistletoe. But why the hell would Lee suddenly decide he was in love Gaara just because of that? He said it himself, you had to kiss whoever was standing with you under it. That was the rule. Stupid little plant. If the redhead had known the repercussions of his actions, he never would have allowed the kiss to take place. Then he wouldn't have hurt Lee, Gaara himself wouldn't be hurting, and their friendship might not have been so damaged.

The redhead officially hated his life, and whatever demonic star it was conceived under.

Currently, he was walking slowly toward town, planning on buying some more clothes (he had accidentally shredded his only set of sleep clothes during one of his emotional fits,) when he spotted the older boy's training ground, with said older boy curled up next to a battered log and looking perfectly pitiful.

Gaara sighed heavily, wanting to ignore it, get his new clothes and go back to hiding, but instead turned and headed to where Lee was. He walked over to the fallen chunk of wood and awkwardly hefted the gourd off his back (as opposed to how fluid and graceful he normally was when handling it,) resting it against the log and silently sitting down next to it, his back to his friend. The redhead waited quietly for a sign of acknowledgement.

Re: Mahhhh Gaara-mun feels guilty for making Lee so sad! D:

[the_blue_beast]

Lee's eyes snapped open at the familiar sound of sand shifting inside of the large gourd that housed it, his eyes, still shiny from much crying, took in the stiff back of the redhead, wary and unsure. Did Gaara want to talk? Was that why he was here? Lee did not think he was prepared for whatever conversation they were about to have. He did not even think he could stand to look at the redhead just yet.

He sighed as quietly as he could, shifting a little, but not sitting up. After a moment, he swallowed the lump in his throat, pushed down the need to hide, and spoke in the most subdued voice he could ever remembering hearing from himself. "H-hi."

Oh, that was smooth. Totally not awkward. The epitome of cool. Lee's face warmed slightly, and he looked towards the ship, trying his best to not look at Gaara, wondering if he should say more.

[hiccup_ninja]

The redhead easily caught the green-clad boy's sigh and frowned a bit. Did Lee not want to talk to Gaara? "...Hey." He replied just as awkwardly, glancing over his shoulder at his friend. He had obviously been crying recently, his eyes still watery and pink; meanwhile the only change in Gaara was that the dark rings around his eyes were a shade darker, standing out much more starkly against his slightly paler skin. He was also moving somewhat gingerly now; all the new stress had put so much agitation on his ribs that they hurt more or less constantly now, even with the ointment. Luckily, the redhead was very good at hiding his pain.

[the_blue_beast]

Lee shifted, closing his eyes again at the sound of Gaara's voice. No, he definitely did not think he was strong enough to deal with this right now. But he did not want to be rude and tell Gaara that. If Gaara wanted to talk, it was only fair that Lee hear him out.

"I-" He cut himself off, opening his eyes again to look at the sky. He really wished his sensei were here to guide him. Without him, Lee felt so lost and unprepared to deal with these unexpected emotions. Certainly his sensei would be able to make Lee feel better and set him on the right path. Lee shook his head, throwing an arm over his bloodshot eyes. "H-how are you?" he finally mumbled, glad for the semblance of hiding that cover his face offered.

[hiccup_ninja]

Gaara blinked slowly and kept a duller-than-usual gaze fixed on Lee. "I've been better." He said after a while. He still had that feeling that he should do something to cheer his friend up, but again was at a loss for words or actions. He was silent for a few minutes. "Tell me why you love me." the redhead then said abruptly.

[the_blue_beast]

A slightly hysterical laugh bubbled up from Lee's throat. Partly through laughing, it turned into a weak sob, before he could stop it. Of all the things Gaara wanted to know why. Lee could hardly think past the dull ache in his chest, and yet the redhead wanted Lee to explain one of the most profound feelings he had ever experienced.

"I-I do not think I could explain it," he managed after his half-laughter, half-sobbing had subsided. "It i-is very complicated. I just... feel it. In here." He placed a hand over his heart, keeping his other one firmly planted over his eyes. "Please, I cannot..." He trailed off, letting out a shaky sigh. This was not how he had wanted Gaara to see him, especially not after their last encounter. He'd thought if he trained hard enough he could face Gaara again and keep his promises. But this? It was too much, too soon, and Lee could not stand it. He sniffed, feeling exhausted and sick and hopeless. He sat up finally, letting his arm fall into his lap, revealing his dirty, tear stained face, the forlorn expression so out of character on Lee. His shoulders shook as he took in another breath, his body too tired to cry anymore. He chanced a glance up at Gaara, but had to look away the moment he met the redhead's intense gaze. "I--"

What could he say to make this better? How could he explain this to Gaara? And how was he supposed to keep his promises if he could not even look at his friend?

[hiccup_ninja]

Gaara watched Lee in confusion, lightly laced with concern, as the boy started crying and laughing at the same time. He sighed heavily through his nose at his green-clad friend's inadequete explanation. "I don't understand." the redhead admitted. "I don't understand any of this. And it frustrates me to no end." His voice was hoarse and breathier than normal, the only sign indicating how stressed he was. Without thinking much of it, Gaara grabbed a length of the gourd's cloth strap, removing it and passing it to his friend. "Clean yourself up. You look like hell." He stated bluntly.

[the_blue_beast]

Lee glanced down at the proffered cloth, bristling slightly at Gaara's blunt comment. Of course he looked dreadful, Lee knew what he must look like, sitting here in the dirt, getting himself dusty, his eyes bloodshot with bags beneath them. What did Gaara expect?

He took he cloth without a word, mouth pursed in a thin line. He tensed when their fingers brushed, closing his eyes tightly against the wave of emotion the simple contact elicited from him. His eyes burned again, and he looked away, turning his head to the side to hide the emotions passing across his face. "T-thank you," he managed, as he wiped off his tear-stained, dirty cheeks.

Folding the cloth, and staring pointedly at he, Lee took in a deep breath. "I-I am sorry I cannot give you a better explanation. I-I do not know what else there is to say. I-" He swallowed. The urge to cry was back, but it was a faint burn in the back of his throat, nothing like the desperate clawing need from yesterday.

If Lee did not start feeling better soon, he did not think he could ever face Gaara again, and how could he keep his promise to love and protect the redhead if he never spoke to him again? This would be the first promise he had ever broken in his life--and such an important promise, no less--if he continued to wallow like this. The thought made his stomach clench and his chest tighten further, his hand closing into a tight fist around the folded cloth. He couldn't do that, he couldn't go back on his word, he couldn't let his own heartache make him waver, make him weak.

With a determined air, Lee forced himself to look at Gaara, his mouth in a formidable frown, his brows drawn together. He swallowed again, trying to be brave and strong, and doing his utmost best to remember that he was in the Springtime of his Youth and that Gaara, no matter what, was his most important person.

"I-I know that you do not return my feelings, but I-I love you. I am sorry if that inconveniences you, but I cannot change how I feel. I realise that it must seem very sudden--after all, we have not known each other long, but my sensei said... he said that I would know. That I would know without a doubt." His determination wavered slightly, and his gaze dropped. Did he know? Was a kiss the be all end all for defining love? But if Gaara was not his most important person then why did Lee feel so bad. He wiped an errant tear away from his face, sighing heavily. "I... I think you are a very nice person, even though I do not know you well. I-I enjoyed our match, and your company was enjoyable, and--" He broke off, blushing slightly. "W-when we kissed, th-that was when I knew. Because it made me very happy, and s-so, even if it does not make sense, even if it is sudden, I know without a doubt that you are my number one most important person!" He stared up at Gaara, his expression earnest and slightly sad, but the determination back with just a bit of hope. His lip trembled slightly, his eyes brimming with tears, but he would not cry.

No, he would not cry anymore.

[hiccup_ninja]

Gaara listened intently to Lee's words, only twitching a little at the 'I love you' bit. He took a deep, steadying breath that rattled slightly in his throat, the sand shifting uneasily. He thought Gaara was nice? The way people used to treat him in the past had always led him to believe he was anything but. "Please understand Lee," the redhead said slowly, thinking his words over with intense caution. "My childhood was not the happiest, and I was deprived of a lot of things that should be second nature to me as a human; the most basic of them being love." Gaara would have said more, but he could already feel the old memories clawing at their binds, desperate to get loose and wreak four year's worth of pent-up havoc on the redhead's emotional health. He fell silent.

[the_blue_beast]

Lee's determination only increased at Gaara's words. "Then I will remedy this! I will show you what love is! I will give you all the love I have and then some, even if you never return it, to make up for the love you lacked in the past!" He rose to his knees, moving towards Gaara slowly, his eyes pleading with Gaara.

"Please, allow me to show you what love is, Gaara," he said, softer than before, more serious and subdued. He needed to try, even if Gaara could not understand, Lee would make sure to try his hardest. "I-I am a genius of hard work, so there is absolutely nothing I will not do to show you love and prove to you that I am worthy of yours, and if you cannot love me, then at least let me love you! P-please." It was an admirable attempt at keeping the tears back, and the speech made it harder to hold his feelings in.

[hiccup_ninja]

Gaara blinked in surprise and felt an odd wobble in his chest at his friend's declaration. He suddenly dearly wanted to spill his guts to Lee right there, make him understand just how messed up he was inside and that the damage done was without cure and there was probably little to nothing Lee could do to change that, other than maybe help prevent further damage. The redhead's face was unreadable for the most part, but there was a tiny hint of apprehension in his ice-blue eyes. "...There's probably nothing you could do though." He said softly.

[the_blue_beast]

Lee shook his head emphatically, leaning forward, closer to Gaara, a few tears falling down his face. "Please, Gaara. Allow me this chance to show you what love is! I will not give up! No matter what, I will do my utmost best to show you love and make you happy! I want only to protect you and see you smile, so please, I beg of you, let me do this!" He bowed low, his hands on the ground before him, his head down. He sniffed, his eyes closed tight against the fear that Gaara might not allow it.

[hiccup_ninja]

Gaara leaned subtly back as Lee got closer, feeling thoroughly uncomfortable as the older boy actually bowed, and yet feeling oddly comforted by seeing some semblance of the normal Lee. He watched his friend closely, the corners of his mouth twitching downward in a wary frown and rubbing at the scar on his forehead (which was now reddened and cracked slightly; he had been rubbing at it a lot the past couple of days.) He thought hard about it for a couple of minutes. "...Sure, why not." he said finally.

[the_blue_beast]

Lee's head snapped up, his eyes widening a bit. "Ho-hontou? Do you really mean it? I can--you will allow--Arigatougozaimasu!" he cried, tears streaming down his face, a slight smile at the edge of his mouth. "I promise I will do my utmost best to make you happy and show you love!!! I will not let you down!!!"

He wanted to move forward and hug Gaara, but he hesitated. Would the redhead allow that? Would that be too forward? Would it make him uncomfortable? But wasn't it Lee's duty to show Gaara affection? Yes, it was, and even if Gaara never loved him back, Lee would keep his promise, his promise that he had etched in stone for Gaara.

"I-is it okay if I h-hug you?" he asked tentatively, looking down, a faint blush on his once again tear stained cheeks. Lee was definitely feeling better, and though the ache in his chest had not subsided completely, he felt that there was hope once again in this situation.

[hiccup_ninja]

Gaara, still looking a bit tense with the situation, blinked in blatant surprise when Lee asked if he could hug the redhead. "...No." He said after a few seconds, then, at the risk of his friend falling into another depression, he quickly added, "My ribs have been hurting more and more since yesterday. Best not to take any chances." he explained plainly, hoping to forego any possibility of Lee taking his words the wrong way.

[the_blue_beast]

Lee slumped, a serious pout crossing his features and his eyes watering for a moment before his head snapped up. "H-have you not gone to the doctor yet? You must go! You cannot let something like this go unattended, Gaara. I would gladly go with you--unless you do not want me to," he added, belatedly, looking down. "I-I would feel much better if you went. I worry a great deal about you, and this injury is not something that I feel comfortable allowing you to ignore."