Stunning [OPEN]

[theschmotone]

Characters: Dimo, Gorobei, and open to anyone else from any ship, since it's backdated to the races
Content: shortly after this log. Dimo, somewhat grudgingly, goes out to the Winding Way for an evening of drinks, Steel Samurai, and pretending to be lovely ladies
Setting: Gunsmoke, on the Winding Way
Time: Backdated to during the races
Warnings:

Comments

[goromical]

Whatever trouble his companion was going through was completely lost on Gorobei. He was having too much fun giggling and winking at every bewildered eye they managed to catch, which were quite a few. He only turned his attention back to Dimo to steer him away from a table and to the bar. "We're not going to meet anyone sitting alone at a table--"

It occurred then to Gorobei that he was not allowed to call Dimo by his male name. He didn't remember thinking up a female name for him, so he gave Dimo a cutesy nickname, hoping that would suffice. "Sweetie," he said, giggling some more and poking Dimo in the head. "You should smile more."

[theschmotone]

It mystified Dimo as to how Gorobei could manage such a high falsetto when giggling. Anything that he'd tried thus far ended up sounding like a hyena that had eaten the wrong kind of mushrooms, so the Jager was mostly sticking to batting his eyelashes and looking shy. A little reluctantly, he followed Gorobei to the bar, sitting down as daintily as he could manage.

Dimo winced at the "sweetie", but still managed to retain some of his composure. "Hyu tink zo, dollink?" he asked coquettishly, flashing Gorobei a dazzling and pointy smile. "I doezn't know if it's really all dot ladylike, und I vouldn't vant to behave badly in a place vith zo many charming men about," he added, glancing at the bartender over his lace fan. If they were going to do this, they might as well do it over-the-top.

[goromical]

Gorobei did his best to make a little cutesy pout out of his lips, and turned his eyes up to the ceiling, considering Dimo's point. He turned his face back to Dimo to pout. "But all the fun girls go to the bar." And then his eyes brightened up and he clasped his hands together. "Of course, we could always invite someone to join us!"

Turning away from Dimo and doing his best to catch the full attention of everyone at the bar, Gorobei waved his arm around and shouted, "Would any of you young men would like to join a couple of sweet beauties for a drink?"

He was met with silence, but he didn't give up. "Okay, then! We'll get a table and you meet us there!"

[theschmotone]

Smiling without showing his teeth, Dimo attempted a dainty laugh. By the baffled look on the bartender's face, he wasn't certain whether it had gone off well or not. But then again, did it really matter? He was used to being stared at just from being a Jager, so was pretending to be a woman in public really all that different? "Ve's certainly dot, Rini," he replied, loud enough for the rest of the bar to hear. "Vhy, I doezn't know any odder gorls vhat's qvite as much fon as us. But before ve gets svarmed by handsome men vanting to take us home later in de evening, can hyu dear friend Hildie," he gestured to himself with his fan, "buy hyu a drink? Dot's anodder part of vhy ve's here after all. Vhat vould hyu suggest from de menu?"

[goromical]

"A drink? Oh, yes. Why, sweetie, that would be lovely!" Gorobei's smile fell the faintest bit when he thought about buying some of the frufru drinks at the bar. He didn't mind the embarrassment of being a large, intimidating man in a dress buying a girlie drink. Hell, that was the last thing the bewildered patrons around them probably cared about. No, fruity drinks had never been very kind to Gorobei's stomach.

Still, he argued, he wasn't going to drink much (he never did), and it was in the spirit of the evening, and he'd hate to ruin Dimo's first night out in drag. "Of course! Get me anything with strawberries. I love strawberries!"

[theschmotone]

"Of courze, sveethot," Dimo said with a sly grin. "Anyting for my best gorlfriend." Flagging down the bartender with a clawed (but now manicured, with claws painted purple to match the shoes) hand, he ordered two drinks, then sat back, satisfied, to wait for them. The poor bartender looked even more confused now. That, though, was part of the fun.

When the drinks arrived, he handed the bubbly pink one in the huge glass to "Rini". From the scent of it, it was mostly champagne, with a couple of other things thrown in for flavor. Delicate slices of strawberry were arranged artfully along the edge of the glass, and a little paper umbrella had been thrown in for garnish. "Dere hyu go, dollink!" he replied with a grin. Dimo's own drink was a rather large glass filled with straight whiskey. After all, just because Gorobei was having one of the girliest drinks that Gunsmoke had to offer didn't mean that he had to as well.

[goromical]

Holding the large glass of pink alcohol close to his face meant that Gorobei accidentally inhaled some of the strawberry fumes radiating from it. He did his best to hide his cough, but without much luck. The result was him sounding very un-ladylike as he turned his face to the side and tried to get the sticky smell out of his through and nose. "It's the size, hrrk, of a soup bowl," he murmured, holding the glass away at a safe distance.

Once he turned back to Dimo he noticed, with a little annoyance, that his companion had chickened out of getting the fruity drinks. "Not fair," Gorobei half-whined, poking Dimo in the head again. He took a small drink from his own glass, determined to make the drink last the entire night.

[theschmotone]

"Who says it haz to be fair, sveethot?" Dimo inquired as innocently as he could manage, girlishly batting his eyelashes and tittering just a bit. His laugh was still far from musical, but at least he was getting the volume control down all right. A little went a long way when you were a lady, he realized, and it was best when you only gave your audience a tiny bit of what they were looking for. Then they'd just want more, and if you slipped up, it wasn't as noticeable.

Resisting the urge to poke Gorobei back with a clawed finger, Dimo gave a tight little smile and downed his whiskey in a couple of gulps. "Could hyu get a gorl annoder vun?" he sweetly asked the bartender. "I gots all night, after all."

[goromical]

So that's how it was going? Gorobei immediately recognized his chance to play one of his games, a little surprised that Dimo was already starting it. Sure, he had gone a little overboard with the clothes, and, yeah, he had tricked Dimo into wearing a dress, but as far as he was concerned, by the giant glass he held in his hand, they were even now. "Even" didn't sit well with Gorobei. He had to win.

"Oh, but sweetie!" As soon as the bartender set another drink down, Gorobei snatched it up and dumped it on the ground. "You know what happens when you drink too much. You're such a lightweight, I would hate to have to pull you out of some stranger's bed in the morning."

[theschmotone]

Yes, it was on now. Jagers in general were fond of games, and Dimo particularly so. When there was an edge to the game, as there was here, a chance to slip up or risk losing something, he was in his element. He'd just have to start acting even girlier in response. Which meant, as far as was concerned, he got to be cattier and more passive-aggressive than he'd been thus far.

Smiling cheerily at Gorobei, Dimo replied airily, "Zo, hyu'd rather me have anodder drink vhen ve gets back to de ship, und have to pull me out of your bed in de morning instead? Vhat vould hyu boyfriend say?"

[goromical]

Feigning a particularly scandalized look, Gorobei made a little gasp and covered his mouth. "You can be so crude sometimes, sweetie! What would all these eligible bachelors around us think?" Those eligible bachelors were still doing their best to ignore the two, though it was obvious quite a few of them heard the last, particularly awkward bit.

"You know that my boyfriend and I are in an open relationship. He's just, hm, heard all those rumors about what you've done to your last few suitors. It's for my own safety, you see."

[theschmotone]

"Dey vould tink dot I vas de more fon of de two of us," Dimo said with a smirk. Grabbing for Gorobei's drink now that his own had been poured out by his lovely companion, he grimaced as the bubbles tickled his nose. Dimo did manage to choke down a swallow of it, though the syrupy sweet taste of the concoction did absolutely nothing for him. "Und dose boys vhat left my room vas just fine. Dey just liked it rough, and rough vas vhat I gave dem. Besides, hyu can be sure dey vas having a goot time, since dey didn't get parted from deir money. After all, I iz de vun who doesn't charge for her affections."

[goromical]

"I wouldn't go around bragging that fact, Hildie. It seems obvious that the only reason you don't charge anything is because you know that no one would bother if they actually had to pay." A quiet chuckle escaped his mouth as he watched Dimo's reaction to the drink. Yes, another man--or rather, Jager--who didn't much enjoy the fruity drinks. Not that this was very hard to come by. If a man did enjoy the fruity drinks, he usually kept that to himself.

It took a moment and another sip of alcohol before Gorobei realized that what he had just said might get him in a load of trouble if there happened to be any law enforcement nearby. "Of course, neither do I! I'm as pure as a never-been-plucked rose petal." How romantic.

[theschmotone]

"Of courze, dollink! Hyu knows dot I iz just teasing," Dimo responded, more than a little confused. He was more than willing to follow the course that the conversation was taking, but precisely why it was going that way was beyond him. "Bartender, sveethot, could hyu get Rini here anodder drink, und vun for me, too? No, no, noting in particular! Surprize us."

Once he'd put in the order for something that would hopefully be tastier than what they had, Dimo grabbed a slice of straberry from off of the edge of Gorobei's glass, chewing it thoughtfully while he decided which way he should take the conversation. The show hadn't started yet, and they still had at least half an hour until the performance started. But what to bring up?

"Zince I iz such a simpleton vhen it comes to men, Rini dollink, mebbe hyu could give me zome tips. How does hyu go about finding a goot vun?"

[goromical]

Gorobei watched Dimo take the strawberry indifferently, but the thought of someone actually eating more fruit made his stomach churn just the slightest bit, so he turned his eyes to the table when the Jager went to eat it.

After giving Dimo time to chew and think, he glanced up at the next question. "Ah. Men." Gorobei's lips turned down and he sighed quietly, not all dramatically, which was a little out of character for Miss Rini. "Maybe I'm not the one you should be asking about that. I've had such hard times with men. Especially the tall, stoic types. You never can tell what they're thinking." His frown lingered a moment before twisting into a small smirk.

"Though that doesn't seem to be your type anyway, does it, Hildie? You could never find a man more stoic and manly than you, hm?"

[theschmotone]

Thankfully, Dimo had a good poker face. After decades of being a drill sergeant, you had to learn, by force if necessary, to hide how you were really feeling from the recruits. Dimo had his suspicions as to who the samurai was talking about, but if he missed Kambei anywhere near as much as Dimo had missed Maxim, it was best to bring it up only vaguely. If Gorobei wanted to talk, Dimo supposed that he would. In the meantime, though, it seemed as though it might be a good time to open up a bit himself.

"Hyu gots a goot point dere, dollink." A rather silly grin appeared on his face, and he took the new drink that the bartender handed him. "I guess I goes for de sort dot teases me about de fact dot I iz both older und shorter den him instead. Und who gives real goot backrubs."

After a pause for a moment or so, Dimo added in a slightly more serious tone, "Hyu gots a particular fellow in mind vhat hyu's had trouble vith, doezn't hyu?"