Show me your inner self... [Closed]

[inyourmidst]

Characters: Gin, Shinjiro, and later Cirucci.
Content: The drugs are starting to lose their effect, so Gin has offered to help Shinji find other ways of keeping his Persona under control; namely giving it an outlet of violence.
Setting: In a clearing, a reasonable hike from the fairgrounds.
Time: Mid- to late-afternoon.
Warnings: Sparring and

Comments

[inyourmidst]

"That depends," Gin said, thoughtfully refraining from a solid answer for a moment as he watched Shinjiro's face. Shinsou was stirring restlessly, not entirely pleased to feel a hand on its hilt other than Gin's, but not reacting quite as violently as it could have. For one, although there were certain intriguing similarities between Personae and Zanpakuto, they didn't quite resonate closely enough for Shinsou to recognize the kind of threat it perceived in others of its kind. Shinji couldn't quite connect with Shinsou, just as Gin couldn't fully perceive all of Castor, although that brief moment of contact between his sword and Castor's manifestation made him think that it wouldn't be entirely impossible...

So even though holding his zanpakuto didn't give Shinji the full experience of Gin's power, he could still feel echos of it. Enough that when Gin carefully ran his hand along the blade, letting it lick at the blood that dappled his fingers, Shinji would feel the sharp pang of hunger and the answering violent urge to cut and consume just as it rumbled through Gin's soul.

"You say you want it gone, but I don't think you've really understood what you're missing," he offered in a voice that was mildly hypnotic. "Why would you want to be halved when you could be whole?"

He clenched the blade a little harder, this time letting it bite into his own flesh, and the tremble of satisfaction that poured through the blade was overwhelmingly palatable in a gruesome sort of way. Satisfied bloodlust, twisted and beautiful.

[adiosasshole]

The moment the blood touched the metal, the feeling of just simple not belonging expanded into that sick longing. The want for more and more and...

Then that filling sensation that came afterwards. A tiny noise escaped Shinji's throat, something very familiar to Gin by now, and his eyes fluttered.

"...it's... not like I have a choice..."

[inyourmidst]

"No," Gin agreed. "But you try to fight it anyway, don't you. What's the harm in letting your Persona out a little more? You might find you like it."

Much as Gin enjoyed letting Shinsou cut loose, and he could share just a taste of that pleasure as Shinji held the sword and Gin let it cut him. Blood dripped down the blade even though the wounds were little more than papercuts, but they were enough to satisfy his zanpakuto's craving and he could see it reflected in Shinjiro's reaction. Having that sort of power over him, so easily, was a delight in itself.

[adiosasshole]

"I don't want to like it, godamn it!" Shinjiro snarled, his eyes shrinking down to slits, even though his voice was still a tad breathy.

He pressed the zanpakto out to Gin, wanting it away, even if he ended up cutting more into the older man's palm by doing so. Hell, that would only encourage him more. Ichimaru was playing with too many of his weaknesses for him to just play along.

[inyourmidst]

Gin could have saved himself from a deeper wound if he'd pulled his hand away quick enough, but he deliberately didn't. He let his sword have one last taste, forcing that thrill of pleasure onto Shinji by proxy, and only then did he take it back.

"I'm only suggesting it because it would make things easier on you," he said airily. "You know what they say. Suppressing that kind of thing only makes it worse, and I think that's where the root of your problem comes from. It's why even the drugs aren't strong enough to keep your Persona contained."

Their little sparring session had been decidedly informative on that matter. Castor wasn't an independent power source, after all. It was built from Shinji's mind in the same way Shinsou was spawned from Gin's soul, so something about Shinji himself had to be giving it strength. From Castor's mere aura, it wasn't hard to make guesses about what it might be. He tilted Shinji's chin with red-stained fingers, studying him.

"What part really bothers you?" he asked. "That you like causing pain? Making people feel fear? Is it the blood? Killing? All of the above? Or is it just because you don't trust yourself with all that power, especially because using it makes you feel good?"

[adiosasshole]

Deep down he knew that was the case. The more he held Castor in the more aggressive it got. But really, what else could he do? Letting Casotr out up here, away from people might work for awhile, but not forever. And while he had considered just going away, maybe to the Badlands or something... he couldn't bring himself to slice those last human ties.

"..." He couldn't really respond to that, some of it was true, some wasn't. But he wasn't sure which was which anymore. He liked to fight, he knew that. He thrilled at the rush of it, but he didn't think of himself as sadistic.

Was he?

"I'm not answering that."

[inyourmidst]

"You know I'm only trying to help," Gin wheedled, flicking the blood from his zanpakuto before resheathing it. His hands stung pleasently from the cuts, and he didn't bother wiping away the blood on his fingers as he tipped Shinjiro's head up.

"People like us," he confided, voice dark and warm like heated molassas. Sticky, clinging. "We can learn to get along with our little habits just fine. It just a matter of finding the right sort of outlets..."

He let that hang speculatively, leaning forward just enough to scrape his lips against Shinji's again. They tasted like blood, although at this point it was impossible to tell if it was Shinji's or his own.

[adiosasshole]

"Yeah... but I don't need your kind of outlet, Ichima-" He trailed off as Gin got close, smelling the coppery tang in the air between them. His tongue flicked out before he could really think catching some of that blood and relishing it.

But the moment he realized what he was doing Shinjiro jerked away. Gin was like a snake; could hypnotize his way in close before you realized it. And at this rate Shinji was much more bird than mongoose.

[inyourmidst]

Gin did him the courtesy of not laughing outright at him, but he did look unreasonably smug about the whole thing. "Are you so sure? You seem to be learning to like them."

But though he could have easily pressed for heat and closeness again as he usually did when they was alone, he turned away instead and with smooth, efficient movements cut two lengths from the excess of his sash and wound them around his hands as makeshift bandages. They'd both been wounded now, only shallowly, but bleeding enough to look as though they might be serious, and he hid a secretive smirk as he tied the cloth off with his teeth.

"We're done for now," he announced, glancing back at Shinji and gesturing at the path. "I think this little adventure taught me everything I wanted to know."