So this is soul searching
After roughly 5 months of unemployment and unsuccessful job interviews and what not, I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing the Ateneo equips its students with that can help you get through the awkward footing this era of my life has me in.
This is not to say that I have been depressed or sad the past few months. I am not the stage of pitying myself. In fact, I have been anything but (save for a few select moments). It's just that the world isn't cooperating. Apparently, I don't call when I want to get a job. It doesn't come when you snap your fingers and give your resume. I just don't understand why. This should not be mistaken as arrogance, it's just that I don't think I left any interview without feeling like I killed it, or rocked it. I don't know if it's the combination of the economic downturn we inherited when we graduated or just that I'm plain old shit not good enough. I envy the people who are just waiting for the perfect job to come. I don't know if they're going to regret what they're doing or if it was their plan to begin with. As for me, I'm getting tired of waiting.
But definitely not when it comes to you.
When you come back, it will be the happiest day of my life I won't even be able to explain it. I miss you terribly, and this experience has been hard on me. To think it's only been months, and I know you feel the same. But even with all this loneliness, I am so proud of you. All these people talking about nation building and progress and development have you as their definition. You are the flesh and blood of their theories and facts. You give statistics face, and I have no problems with letting you go out into the world and making a difference. This whole thing is much bigger than us, I understand that. And you will come back. When you find you. When I find myself. When we find us again.
I love you. <3
So world, here I go again ranting about you being unfair to me. But do not think for a second that I am giving up on finding that one breakthrough. Until then, I will continue eating cereal in the morning, playing basketball in the afternoon and improving my already growing three pointers made. I will continue hanging out with the people that matter. I will continue to talk to the people who have made me who I am. I will continue to wait for that one thing that gives me my purpose in life.
Because it's what You and you want me to do.
This is not to say that I have been depressed or sad the past few months. I am not the stage of pitying myself. In fact, I have been anything but (save for a few select moments). It's just that the world isn't cooperating. Apparently, I don't call when I want to get a job. It doesn't come when you snap your fingers and give your resume. I just don't understand why. This should not be mistaken as arrogance, it's just that I don't think I left any interview without feeling like I killed it, or rocked it. I don't know if it's the combination of the economic downturn we inherited when we graduated or just that I'm plain old shit not good enough. I envy the people who are just waiting for the perfect job to come. I don't know if they're going to regret what they're doing or if it was their plan to begin with. As for me, I'm getting tired of waiting.
But definitely not when it comes to you.
When you come back, it will be the happiest day of my life I won't even be able to explain it. I miss you terribly, and this experience has been hard on me. To think it's only been months, and I know you feel the same. But even with all this loneliness, I am so proud of you. All these people talking about nation building and progress and development have you as their definition. You are the flesh and blood of their theories and facts. You give statistics face, and I have no problems with letting you go out into the world and making a difference. This whole thing is much bigger than us, I understand that. And you will come back. When you find you. When I find myself. When we find us again.
I love you. <3
So world, here I go again ranting about you being unfair to me. But do not think for a second that I am giving up on finding that one breakthrough. Until then, I will continue eating cereal in the morning, playing basketball in the afternoon and improving my already growing three pointers made. I will continue hanging out with the people that matter. I will continue to talk to the people who have made me who I am. I will continue to wait for that one thing that gives me my purpose in life.
Because it's what You and you want me to do.