hey.......
So much for getting a good amount of rest before waking up to go to work today.......
So I made it through the second big test, making it through a parent holiday without any of my parents being here, the good thing is is that I made it through with absolutely no tears, it almost amazed me. Yesterday was mothers day, a day to give moms across the country the chance to sit down and relax and not have to do any motherly duties for 24 hours. My mother.......is doing exactly that, resting, luckily, in peace. Along with my father, they are reunited again for the rest of eternity. I honestly thought that today was gonna be a bad day, thought that it was gonna be just myself and a bottle of jack daniels by my side just to get through the day. However I was thrown a curve, I was drunk last night, and it was loads of fun, met and talked with a girl, got her number and hopefully somethng good or possibly great will come of that. Woke up today with no hangover, just my hair a mess and the blue ink still caked on my right hand. I stayed sober the whole day, minus 2 hours from 10-midnight where Adam and I went to the Ale house to chill out with some friends. I realized that.......it is actually easier to deal with all of this stuff sober. I know any of you would be able to tell me this, and deep down I know that I know this. I just originally thought that drunk was the way to go, that.....if I could numb that feeling that it would help make it go away a whole lot faster. Funny enough, for the first couple years with my mom, it did, and I wasn't such a mess.
On March 17 of this year, it was the anniversary of my mothers death, and i was blitzed beyond belief, and Jen and Billy were there to witness it. It numbed all of my feelings and senses. The humorous thing.....I didn't feel any pain at all.
I don't know why I rely on booze to get me through this particular problem......actually I do know, its the same reason some people drink because they are depressed, or because they hae no money, or because they are living mediocre life. Its all because its a numbing factor that only narcotic drugs can duplicate, and to all of you, don't worry, I have never tried and will never try anything like that.
I think I am done with my rant for the night.
So I made it through the second big test, making it through a parent holiday without any of my parents being here, the good thing is is that I made it through with absolutely no tears, it almost amazed me. Yesterday was mothers day, a day to give moms across the country the chance to sit down and relax and not have to do any motherly duties for 24 hours. My mother.......is doing exactly that, resting, luckily, in peace. Along with my father, they are reunited again for the rest of eternity. I honestly thought that today was gonna be a bad day, thought that it was gonna be just myself and a bottle of jack daniels by my side just to get through the day. However I was thrown a curve, I was drunk last night, and it was loads of fun, met and talked with a girl, got her number and hopefully somethng good or possibly great will come of that. Woke up today with no hangover, just my hair a mess and the blue ink still caked on my right hand. I stayed sober the whole day, minus 2 hours from 10-midnight where Adam and I went to the Ale house to chill out with some friends. I realized that.......it is actually easier to deal with all of this stuff sober. I know any of you would be able to tell me this, and deep down I know that I know this. I just originally thought that drunk was the way to go, that.....if I could numb that feeling that it would help make it go away a whole lot faster. Funny enough, for the first couple years with my mom, it did, and I wasn't such a mess.
On March 17 of this year, it was the anniversary of my mothers death, and i was blitzed beyond belief, and Jen and Billy were there to witness it. It numbed all of my feelings and senses. The humorous thing.....I didn't feel any pain at all.
I don't know why I rely on booze to get me through this particular problem......actually I do know, its the same reason some people drink because they are depressed, or because they hae no money, or because they are living mediocre life. Its all because its a numbing factor that only narcotic drugs can duplicate, and to all of you, don't worry, I have never tried and will never try anything like that.
I think I am done with my rant for the night.