(no subject)
I give women a lot of flak for all kinds of things all the time, but I'm probably just as guilty as they are. My own friends call me all the time, and I frequently don't answer or call them back. I get invitations to parties and game nights and I don't go just because I don't feel like it, I don't even have an excuse. People even tell me I'm sexist, and maybe I am; I'm occasionally misogynistic, I won't pay attention to a woman if she isn't attractive, and it's not as if I've never used someone for sex. It's not like I take the time to learn what they care about or even pretend to show interest, I outright say that girls have bad taste. I don't remember always being quite so far over the line, I think that what started out as whimsical instigation turned into a disappointed realization when I started actually thinking of females as something that could actually join with me as my complement. When I stopped thinking of romance as the enemy, women effectively became the enemy, because they do everything in their power to prevent me from having what I now seek. I always hated little girls when I was a little boy, I still hate little girls today. I don't think it ever occurred to me how to regard females between childhood and motherhood when I was young. My mother wasn't young when I was born, and my grandmother was even older, they raised me during my formative years. I had no sisters. My step-dad was always kind of shy, I didn't get any "father/son" talks about how to deal with girls. I think it was assumed I knew how to interact socially (despite how often I got in trouble for truly bizarre actions), or I would figure it out eventually. Truth is, I never did figure it out. Everything people see me do, I made it up. I'm faking it. I don't actually get it, I just make it very convincing. I find it so taxing sometimes that I don't even remember what I actually think. Hence my regard to chauvanism. Do I really mean it? Who knows.