Fic: Duck, Duck, Goose
Title: Duck, Duck, Goose
Series: Vampire Row
Characters: Ducky/Kelly, mentions of Jasper/Rich
Genre: Urban fantasy, humour, gay fiction
Status: Oneshot, complete
Rating: PG
Content: Mild swearing, a Harwick family member, references to blood-sucking
Length: 1, 494 words
Summary: When you live down the very end of Vampire Row, you sure as hell aren't normal - are you? What's a girl got to do to make a vampire take notice of that?
Begin Here | Previous | Next | Master Post
AN: Ever since zilentdreamer mentioned Ducky from The Land Before Time, I've somehow ended up thinking of this as 'the Ducky fic', which might explain the name. Much thanks also to pockypuck for coining the awesome name 'Vampire Row', which I have gleefully and shamelessly stolen.
This was orginally posted here at sundaysnuggles.
Ducky Harwick sighed, pushed her glasses onto her forehead, and glanced up from her book, watching a horse-drawn hearse make its way down the road. Clan gatherings weren't unusual - every other weekend a few out-of-town relatives came down to stay with someone, necessitating post-nightfall barbeques in the middle of the street - but the amount of cars, bikes, and horses suggested something bigger than the usual. She'd seen vampires darting from house to house carrying umbrellas and eskies, wearing what they considered to be formal attire - which could mean anything from a Roman-style toga to Elizabethan ruffs and gowns.
Something was up.
Across the street, a door slammed; Ducky glanced down at her textbook, not sure why she bothered to try and hide her staring. Rain, hail or shine - okay, not when it was hailing - she brought her books and laptop out onto the table on the front porch, writing reports in full view of the house across the road, making sure to smile whenever Kelly headed down the street to her Aunt Cecelia's. She'd even started doing the gardening on the front porch, potting herbs and apologising to everyone who walked past for her father's fondness of garlic. It seemed to Ducky that she spent half her life on that porch, leaning over the fence to chat with Kelly's relatives and scribble down medieval-era recipes for miracle healing-salves - and waiting.
Kelly smiled if she noticed Ducky, as if she too had a mother who insisted on always being polite, but most of the time she stared down the road and walked away, eyes fixed on the looming battlements of Cecelia's castle. How more obvious could Ducky be, short of whipping off her shirt and waving it through the air?
Screw the doing nothing approach, she muttered, lowering the book. Kelly all but ran to her front gate, today dressed in a bright pair of floral-print overalls, her eyes focused on some point down the road.
"Hey, is something wrong?" Ducky ran to the fence, climbing over and pointing at the hearse. "Is something going on? All the cars and things, and you're running..."
"Oh..." Kelly shrugged for a moment, smiling just enough to bare the tips of her fangs. Today she wore a WWF T-shirt, and Ducky couldn't help a sigh. How could she not have noticed Ducky's veterinary science texts? "My cousin's bringing his boyfriend home to meet his folks, and the clan thought they'd get together at the same time. My aunt just realised she forgot to bring food he likes."
Food? Maybe Ducky had an opportunity here. "Hold on, I've got plenty," she said, scrambling back over the fence. "I baked apple muffins this morning, and there's a fruit cake, and Tim Tams, and probably some chips. Party food, yeah?" She shot Kelly her best grin. "That do?"
Kelly wriggled one toe into the grass, and then darted across the street, right up to Ducky's front gate. "I ... uh, yeah. Yeah. You don't mind..."
"Course not. Wanna come in?"
It seemed weird to have Kelly in the kitchen, glancing around at her fish tank and pictures on the wall, kneeling down to pat Ducky's wriggling Border Collie. "Nice house. Nice photos."
"Thanks." Ducky's photos of crimson rosellas and koalas taken on various holidays had turned out well enough for someone fooling around with a point-and-shoot, and she couldn't help a grin as Kelly paid them more attention than they were worth, peering for a moment at one beside the phone. "Hey, could you carry the muffins?"
A few extra bags of chips and a bottle of lemonade gave Ducky the perfect excuse to offer to help carry everything over to the castle; Kelly hesitated for a moment, adjusting the chips and Ducky's cake container, and then shrugged.
"Thanks. You really didn't have to do this..."
"Isn't that what neighbours are for?" Ducky asked, kicking closed the front door and, this time, exiting the yard by the front gate. "Besides, I've always wanted to have a perve inside the castle."
"Really?"
I mean, I know all your relatives, I talk to them all the time, it's kind of weird to have never been invited over." Ducky paused; Kelly jerked her eyes away and increased her pace so that Ducky almost had to run to keep up, clearly uncomfortable. Damn, that sounded totally selfish. "I so didn't mean that the way that sounded."
"I guess it is weird," Kelly said after a moment - and then squared her shoulders and stared at Ducky. "Not like it's fantastic or anything, but if you want to come, since you're providing all the food..."
"Love to," Ducky said, struggling to keep her grin under control. Perhaps this would be all she needed, her chance to get Kelly on her own, talk to her, get to know her - and find out just how receptive she'd be to the whole idea of dating a human who lived right across the street. (It was an issue; people liked to go home to get away from their girlfriends, not find themselves obligated to cross the street and stay for tea every night of the week. She couldn't blame Kelly if she hated the idea.) But it was a chance to ask without looking like a stalker, so who knew? Perhaps Ducky could 'forget' her cake container, and then go ask Kelly to come with her to get it back... "Is the castle as creepy inside as out?"
It was. Ducky nearly tripped over her feet inside the gloom, all but falling until Kelly grabbed her by the arm. Ducky hoped that Kelly didn't see her grin. "Careful. The floor's all crooked flagstones."
That gave her the perfect excuse to stay close as they passed through the skull-lined hall and down a long hallway to a narrow flight of steps; Ducky nearly fell over again as Kelly suddenly reached out and grabbed her shoulder, drawing her to a halt - and whistling.
"Arugh, Kelly!"
Ducky stood up on her toes and peered over Kelly's shoulder just in time to get a glimpse of two guys - probably about her age, not that it was easy to tell with vampires and in the dark - hugging on the stairs, heads moving away from each other as though they had just been kissing.
"This is my cousin Jasper," Kelly said, shaking her head in the direction of a somewhat goth-looking vampire. "And his boyfriend...?"
"Rich," Jasper said, staring at Kelly for a moment - and then shaking his head in a gesture so similar Ducky had to bite back the urge to start snorting. "Are you dating one of the Harwicks? And you didn't tell me?"
Ducky cringed, waiting for the refusal. She wasn't dating Kelly, but that was only because she could never get Kelly on her own for long enough to get to know her, never mind do something like ask her out! Hell, for all she knew Kelly wasn't remotely interested - what did Ducky know about dating a vampire, anyway? The clan were wonderful to talk to, perfectly kind, helpful and amicable, but she'd never been inside their homes before now, never met a vampire in private - there could have been all sorts of rituals or blood-drinking that she didn't know about, though Ducky doubted it. The clan didn't seem weird enough for that while they strutted around in breeches and waistcoats - or floral-print overalls - and exchanged recipes for medicinal salves.
"Your mother forgot food," Kelly muttered. Rich gave a small gasp of horror and mock-swooned against Jasper's chest. "Ducky's being kind and helping out."
"Thank you," Jasper said, nodding his head towards Ducky - and breaking into a smile. "Um, Kells? That's not actually a no."
Kelly paused for a moment - and Ducky had never heard anything so wonderful, so beautiful, as that awkward, hanging silence.
"Well, I haven't asked her yet," Ducky said, shrugging. Kelly stiffened, shifting her grip on the cake container, but didn't move away. "But that's mostly because she's a goose and keeps acting like she doesn't notice me on the porch. Are all you vampires so shy?"
"You have no idea," Rich exclaimed, poking Jasper in the ribcage and rolling his eyes. "This idiot here keeps worrying that I'm going to start freaking out."
"How about we take the food?" Jasper suggested, reaching over and taking the lemonade from Ducky's hands. "Thank you ... c'mon, Rich, this way."
Ducky made a mental note to thank him later, turned, and glanced up at Kelly.
"So if I asked," she said, "would you say no?"
"No," Kelly said, after another long moment. Ducky let out her own sigh of relief - and didn't try to stop from jumping up and down in delight. "No. I'd say yes ... if you asked."
"Well, then," Ducky said, grinning even harder as Kelly grabbed her arm and held her in place on the step, "I might just have to find my way to ask..."
For those who aren't lucky enough to live in the Australasian region, Tim Tams are chocolate-coated-and-cream-filled biscuits, and the most heavenly things on earth…
Series: Vampire Row
Characters: Ducky/Kelly, mentions of Jasper/Rich
Genre: Urban fantasy, humour, gay fiction
Status: Oneshot, complete
Rating: PG
Content: Mild swearing, a Harwick family member, references to blood-sucking
Length: 1, 494 words
Summary: When you live down the very end of Vampire Row, you sure as hell aren't normal - are you? What's a girl got to do to make a vampire take notice of that?
Begin Here | Previous | Next | Master Post
AN: Ever since zilentdreamer mentioned Ducky from The Land Before Time, I've somehow ended up thinking of this as 'the Ducky fic', which might explain the name. Much thanks also to pockypuck for coining the awesome name 'Vampire Row', which I have gleefully and shamelessly stolen.
This was orginally posted here at sundaysnuggles.
Ducky Harwick sighed, pushed her glasses onto her forehead, and glanced up from her book, watching a horse-drawn hearse make its way down the road. Clan gatherings weren't unusual - every other weekend a few out-of-town relatives came down to stay with someone, necessitating post-nightfall barbeques in the middle of the street - but the amount of cars, bikes, and horses suggested something bigger than the usual. She'd seen vampires darting from house to house carrying umbrellas and eskies, wearing what they considered to be formal attire - which could mean anything from a Roman-style toga to Elizabethan ruffs and gowns.
Something was up.
Across the street, a door slammed; Ducky glanced down at her textbook, not sure why she bothered to try and hide her staring. Rain, hail or shine - okay, not when it was hailing - she brought her books and laptop out onto the table on the front porch, writing reports in full view of the house across the road, making sure to smile whenever Kelly headed down the street to her Aunt Cecelia's. She'd even started doing the gardening on the front porch, potting herbs and apologising to everyone who walked past for her father's fondness of garlic. It seemed to Ducky that she spent half her life on that porch, leaning over the fence to chat with Kelly's relatives and scribble down medieval-era recipes for miracle healing-salves - and waiting.
Kelly smiled if she noticed Ducky, as if she too had a mother who insisted on always being polite, but most of the time she stared down the road and walked away, eyes fixed on the looming battlements of Cecelia's castle. How more obvious could Ducky be, short of whipping off her shirt and waving it through the air?
Screw the doing nothing approach, she muttered, lowering the book. Kelly all but ran to her front gate, today dressed in a bright pair of floral-print overalls, her eyes focused on some point down the road.
"Hey, is something wrong?" Ducky ran to the fence, climbing over and pointing at the hearse. "Is something going on? All the cars and things, and you're running..."
"Oh..." Kelly shrugged for a moment, smiling just enough to bare the tips of her fangs. Today she wore a WWF T-shirt, and Ducky couldn't help a sigh. How could she not have noticed Ducky's veterinary science texts? "My cousin's bringing his boyfriend home to meet his folks, and the clan thought they'd get together at the same time. My aunt just realised she forgot to bring food he likes."
Food? Maybe Ducky had an opportunity here. "Hold on, I've got plenty," she said, scrambling back over the fence. "I baked apple muffins this morning, and there's a fruit cake, and Tim Tams, and probably some chips. Party food, yeah?" She shot Kelly her best grin. "That do?"
Kelly wriggled one toe into the grass, and then darted across the street, right up to Ducky's front gate. "I ... uh, yeah. Yeah. You don't mind..."
"Course not. Wanna come in?"
It seemed weird to have Kelly in the kitchen, glancing around at her fish tank and pictures on the wall, kneeling down to pat Ducky's wriggling Border Collie. "Nice house. Nice photos."
"Thanks." Ducky's photos of crimson rosellas and koalas taken on various holidays had turned out well enough for someone fooling around with a point-and-shoot, and she couldn't help a grin as Kelly paid them more attention than they were worth, peering for a moment at one beside the phone. "Hey, could you carry the muffins?"
A few extra bags of chips and a bottle of lemonade gave Ducky the perfect excuse to offer to help carry everything over to the castle; Kelly hesitated for a moment, adjusting the chips and Ducky's cake container, and then shrugged.
"Thanks. You really didn't have to do this..."
"Isn't that what neighbours are for?" Ducky asked, kicking closed the front door and, this time, exiting the yard by the front gate. "Besides, I've always wanted to have a perve inside the castle."
"Really?"
I mean, I know all your relatives, I talk to them all the time, it's kind of weird to have never been invited over." Ducky paused; Kelly jerked her eyes away and increased her pace so that Ducky almost had to run to keep up, clearly uncomfortable. Damn, that sounded totally selfish. "I so didn't mean that the way that sounded."
"I guess it is weird," Kelly said after a moment - and then squared her shoulders and stared at Ducky. "Not like it's fantastic or anything, but if you want to come, since you're providing all the food..."
"Love to," Ducky said, struggling to keep her grin under control. Perhaps this would be all she needed, her chance to get Kelly on her own, talk to her, get to know her - and find out just how receptive she'd be to the whole idea of dating a human who lived right across the street. (It was an issue; people liked to go home to get away from their girlfriends, not find themselves obligated to cross the street and stay for tea every night of the week. She couldn't blame Kelly if she hated the idea.) But it was a chance to ask without looking like a stalker, so who knew? Perhaps Ducky could 'forget' her cake container, and then go ask Kelly to come with her to get it back... "Is the castle as creepy inside as out?"
It was. Ducky nearly tripped over her feet inside the gloom, all but falling until Kelly grabbed her by the arm. Ducky hoped that Kelly didn't see her grin. "Careful. The floor's all crooked flagstones."
That gave her the perfect excuse to stay close as they passed through the skull-lined hall and down a long hallway to a narrow flight of steps; Ducky nearly fell over again as Kelly suddenly reached out and grabbed her shoulder, drawing her to a halt - and whistling.
"Arugh, Kelly!"
Ducky stood up on her toes and peered over Kelly's shoulder just in time to get a glimpse of two guys - probably about her age, not that it was easy to tell with vampires and in the dark - hugging on the stairs, heads moving away from each other as though they had just been kissing.
"This is my cousin Jasper," Kelly said, shaking her head in the direction of a somewhat goth-looking vampire. "And his boyfriend...?"
"Rich," Jasper said, staring at Kelly for a moment - and then shaking his head in a gesture so similar Ducky had to bite back the urge to start snorting. "Are you dating one of the Harwicks? And you didn't tell me?"
Ducky cringed, waiting for the refusal. She wasn't dating Kelly, but that was only because she could never get Kelly on her own for long enough to get to know her, never mind do something like ask her out! Hell, for all she knew Kelly wasn't remotely interested - what did Ducky know about dating a vampire, anyway? The clan were wonderful to talk to, perfectly kind, helpful and amicable, but she'd never been inside their homes before now, never met a vampire in private - there could have been all sorts of rituals or blood-drinking that she didn't know about, though Ducky doubted it. The clan didn't seem weird enough for that while they strutted around in breeches and waistcoats - or floral-print overalls - and exchanged recipes for medicinal salves.
"Your mother forgot food," Kelly muttered. Rich gave a small gasp of horror and mock-swooned against Jasper's chest. "Ducky's being kind and helping out."
"Thank you," Jasper said, nodding his head towards Ducky - and breaking into a smile. "Um, Kells? That's not actually a no."
Kelly paused for a moment - and Ducky had never heard anything so wonderful, so beautiful, as that awkward, hanging silence.
"Well, I haven't asked her yet," Ducky said, shrugging. Kelly stiffened, shifting her grip on the cake container, but didn't move away. "But that's mostly because she's a goose and keeps acting like she doesn't notice me on the porch. Are all you vampires so shy?"
"You have no idea," Rich exclaimed, poking Jasper in the ribcage and rolling his eyes. "This idiot here keeps worrying that I'm going to start freaking out."
"How about we take the food?" Jasper suggested, reaching over and taking the lemonade from Ducky's hands. "Thank you ... c'mon, Rich, this way."
Ducky made a mental note to thank him later, turned, and glanced up at Kelly.
"So if I asked," she said, "would you say no?"
"No," Kelly said, after another long moment. Ducky let out her own sigh of relief - and didn't try to stop from jumping up and down in delight. "No. I'd say yes ... if you asked."
"Well, then," Ducky said, grinning even harder as Kelly grabbed her arm and held her in place on the step, "I might just have to find my way to ask..."
For those who aren't lucky enough to live in the Australasian region, Tim Tams are chocolate-coated-and-cream-filled biscuits, and the most heavenly things on earth…