Aug 15, 2007 22:10
I really dislike my stupid obsessive self sometimes. I get right into things and then something dumb like a short break comes along and I go right off them, losing people I knew and things I used to do. Like swimming. I did that well for a year. I was keeping fit, I was getting stronger and I had something to do on the weeknights I would play on the computer. And then something stupid comes along, in this case the club disbanded for a term to repair the swimming pool, and I go right off it. Haven't swum for ages, even though the club came back. All those people I was getting to know, not to mention my coach, gone without a trace. Next in line is some other obsession. Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit.
How will I ever get better at things? I hope this isn't what is happening with me and the 'Downs. I had screwy internet for a month and I just can't get back into it. This is my first real LJ entry for two weeks. I only posted about once, and that was on a Mirth thread, during that time. I'm just afraid that I'll forget about Tolkien, and lose all you guys.
'Coz that's another thing with my obsessive nature. I get attached to things. And then I feel guilty about giving them up. So I have to give them up COMPLETELY. And I mean sever all ties. I was really into chess two years ago. Now I can't do any of the pawn openings I knew. I never got back to my teacher, to whom I said I would continue to pursue chess. Bye-bye to bird-watching, painting a whole group of my old friends... the list of stuff I've abandoned goes on.
In other words... RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT...
rant,
school,
obsessions