Way to take responsibility...blame the wife! Both of you have a responsibility for combined finances/living within joint means.
I understand a sense of entitlement in our current debt culture (denial and shame of debt, so 'screw living within your means and just be happy) but that doesn't make it ok.
I think it's especially hard for guys (or can be) based on stereotypes that the man is "supposed to" provide for the women and therefore they feel more shame/guilt when they can't do it (because in this day and age it's not easy). AND sometimes it's a symptom of something else. In Sol's case it was self-sabotage, not feeling like he deserved. Spending was a quick gratification to make him feel better in the moment rather than looking at the deeper self loathing and addressing the actual problem of self-esteem. Which keeps you in it and it never gets better, so you can feel guilty and need to escape through purchases again...
Given I've never met Trevor, but especially when the coping is video games, that's easily seen as a sort of escapism. Any chance he's depressed? Or does he have self-esteem problems? Things won't get better until those are addressed, if they're at play.
I understand a sense of entitlement in our current debt culture (denial and shame of debt, so 'screw living within your means and just be happy) but that doesn't make it ok.
I think it's especially hard for guys (or can be) based on stereotypes that the man is "supposed to" provide for the women and therefore they feel more shame/guilt when they can't do it (because in this day and age it's not easy). AND sometimes it's a symptom of something else. In Sol's case it was self-sabotage, not feeling like he deserved. Spending was a quick gratification to make him feel better in the moment rather than looking at the deeper self loathing and addressing the actual problem of self-esteem. Which keeps you in it and it never gets better, so you can feel guilty and need to escape through purchases again...
Given I've never met Trevor, but especially when the coping is video games, that's easily seen as a sort of escapism. Any chance he's depressed? Or does he have self-esteem problems? Things won't get better until those are addressed, if they're at play.
Reply
Leave a comment