The Snow Prince (6/13)

[thesilentelf]

Title: The Snow Prince
Pairing: HanChul, KangTeuk, KyuMin, EunHae, YeWook, SiBum, ShinNari
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance, AU
Summary: A story of how a snow prince finally falls in love

- part 6 -


Love.

What was it really? What does it do? How does it feel?

And why the hell is it making me stay up at night just thinking about it? Heechul grumpily thought as he walked along the castle hall.

It had been three days since that happened. Since he and Hankyung spent that time lying in the snow and just stared at each other. Heechul thought that the feeling would've faded away by now. But every time he saw Hankyung or see the snow, it made his insides heat up. Which he felt every single time since he saw snow everywhere.

Heechul threw open the doors to the balcony and went to the railings. Leaning, he felt the wind on his face and he relaxed. The sky was so dark and he knew he should already sleep. But thinking about this made him even stay up later than usual. Wasn't love supposed to save him from insomnia?

Everything was just so confusing and frustrating. Heechul had never felt these things before. These were all so foreign to him and it felt like he was walking blindly all the time. How was he supposed to understand things if he didn't know anything?

Heechul grumbled again, not hearing a pair of footsteps approaching behind him. The person lingered for awhile but soon enough, Heechul felt someone's presence and spun around.

It was Leeteuk.

"Oh," Heechul sighed. "Hey."

"Wow, what a very welcoming expression." Leeteuk said, coming to stand beside him and Heechul looked at him and smiled apologetically.

"You know you're welcome anytime." Heechul turned his attention back to the view before him, trying not to let Leeteuk know what he was feeling. Or maybe he should. Leeteuk knew these things. He and Kangin must have felt it before. Leeteuk wouldn't judge.

Heechul was about to ask him when he heard Leeteuk sigh.

Surprised, Heechul turned to look at him. Prince Leeteuk never sighed.

"That was a first." Heechul commented and Leeteuk smiled softly.

"A first to you but more than a hundred times to Kangin." Leeteuk replied and Heechul shook his head, smiling.

"I'm sorry for not noticing." Heechul said. "I should take care of you more often."

"That's not necessary." Leeteuk waved him off. "I'm the eldest. That's what I do. Being concerned for all of you is something I need to do."

"I hope you don't feel forced doing it." Heechul joked and Leeteuk shook his head.

"Never."

Heechul was about to look back at the view before him when he caught sight of Leeteuk's face and he saw worry lines on their eldest prince's forehead.

Heechul frowned. "Are you alright? I can see that you're... bothered about something."

Heechul was good at reading faces and he knew Leeteuk was stressed out about something. But it was always Leeteuk's thing not to share it to them so as not to worry them too. Just like what Heechul always does. And he knew how hard it was to keep these things to yourself.

"I am actually." Leeteuk rubbed his temples and Heechul was worried about what was bothering him. He hoped there wasn't a huge problem going on in the kingdom right now. But if ever there was, he knew Leeteuk would just call all five of them to discuss it.

He waited for the eldest prince to talk to him about it when Leeteuk turned to him and said, "I'm concerned about you."

Heechul blinked. Did I hear him right? He was one of the wisest prince in the land but he didn't seem to understand that.

"Me?" Heechul asked, looking at Leeteuk. "Why would you be concerned about me?"

Leeteuk looked at him, analyzing him and Heechul wished he wouldn't. He hated when someone was trying to figure him out.

"How do you feel, Heechul?" Leeteuk asked and Heechul was suddenly confused again.

"How do I feel?

"Yes," Leeteuk said softly, "How do you feel these days?"

Heechul just continued to look at him, not fully understanding his question.

"I'm sorry, Leeteuk, but what do you mean? I'm perfectly fine."

"Really? Don't you feel any... different?" Leeteuk started. "Do you feel your heart beating so fast all the time? Sometimes in irregular patterns? Do you blush more often than usual and feel your insides grow warm?"

Heechul stood there surprised, wondering how he knew this.

"Do your legs shake and they feel like you can't stand? Do you feel unfocused? Lose track of time? Not in control?" Leeteuk asked and Heechul found himself silently saying yes in his head although why he was asking this, he didn't know.

"Do you feel... weak?"

Heechul cringed at that. But Leeteuk was looking at him and Heechul composed himself. He knew Leeteuk knew by now that all the answers to those questions were yes.

"I..." Heechul started. "Well, maybe..."

Leeteuk stared at him, eyes widening.

"What?" Heechul asked. "What's that got to do with anything?"

Leeteuk slowly lowered his gaze and looked at Heechul like how Yesung looked at his patients with a bad wound: concerned and sympathetic.

"You're in love."

Heechul looked up at him quickly. He was expecting to see Leeteuk give him a teasing smile or maybe wait for him to give him that playful nudge. But there was nothing in the eldest prince's face. It was hard and serious and Heechul wondered why.

"I am not- ." Heechul stopped himself. Lying and denying this didn't seem like such a good idea. Leeteuk was wise. He knew when one was lying. "Okay, fine. But what if I am?"

Leeteuk then stared at him with a firm expression in his face.

"You can't fall in love." He replied. "You can't fall in love with him."

Leeteuk's answer felt like a slap to Heechul's face.

Him.

Hankyung.

Never in his whole life had Heechul not been allowed to do something. Everything he did was never questioned. Leeteuk and the rest of the snow princes respected each other's decisions. Leeteuk never controlled his brothers. Leeteuk never controlled him. No one controlled Heechul. So why was he forbidding him to fall in love?

Heechul didn't know what Leeteuk's problem was but he suddenly felt angry.

"I'm sorry. What?"

Leeteuk sighed. "You can't fall in love with Hankyung."

Leeteuk sounded like this was so obvious and Heechul glared at him as he clenched his fists. "And dare I ask why?"

Leeteuk looked at him and Heechul saw him look so concerned. Leeteuk is just concerned. He assured himself. But Heechul was so angry that he shoved that image away.

"Because he's a traveler."

Leeteuk's answer caught Heechul by surprise.

He's a traveler...

If there was one thing Leeteuk was known most throughout the kingdom is that he was a very compassionate prince. Wise. Gentle. Kind. He was made out of all things good. This was why Heechul was surprised. He never knew him to be shallow. None of his brothers were shallow.

"I can't believe you just said that." Heechul said. "So what if he's a traveler? He may not be born in riches or is a royal like us but I don't care. And I can't believe that you do."

Leeteuk stared at him and shook his head. "No. You don't understand. That's not what I'm trying to say."

"Then what are you trying to say, Leeteuk? What are you trying to say because you sound like some shallow fool in front of me."

Heechul knew he had hurt Leeteuk with his words. He knew he had hurt his prince. But what he said about Hankyung stung.

"Heechul," Leeteuk said carefully. "I am not trying to say that you can't fall in love with Hankyung because of that."

Heechul continued to glare at him.

"What I'm trying to say is, you can't fall in love because he's a traveler- "

"That's what you just said!"

"Let me finish." Leeteuk said in a firm tone and Heechul bit his tongue.

Leeteuk took a deep breath and continued.

"You can't fall in love with him because he's a traveler." Leeteuk spoke softly now. "A traveler, Heechul. Do you know what traveler's do? They never stay."

Leeteuk's words made Heechul's heart stop.

"They never stay." Leeteuk repeated. "They leave in the end. Because they travel to other kingdoms. To other places. They will always leave in the end."

Heechul felt his insides clench.

"Hankyung is a traveler. He will leave once his book is finished. And you can't fall in love with him because he can't stay."

Heechul's heart suddenly felt heavy.

Leeteuk was right. Heechul knew he was right. He was supposed to be a wise prince himself. How could he have not realized this?

Heechul mentally cursed at himself. This was not how a prince should act. A prince should not have fallen in love so easily like this without thinking things through. A prince should not have been easy. A traveler! Heechul knew since day one that this was what Hankyung did. But still, he forgot about it. He was blinded by everything else. He was so stupid!

Was this all love's doing then? Was this how love was supposed to be? Then it wasn't fair. Heechul thought. It wasn't fair.

"I don't want you to get hurt." Leeteuk said and Heechul looked up at him. "I don't want my brother to get hurt. That's why I don't want you to fall in love with him."

Was he hurt? Was he in pain? His heart felt heavy. And his mind felt a little bit tired from thinking. He also couldn't breathe.

He didn't want Hankyung to go. Just the thought of him leaving made him weak.

There it was again. Weak.

Why was it that when Hankyung was around, he felt weak. Now that he was entertaining these thoughts of him actually leaving, he was also weak too.

Love. This was love... right? Even if he was going to leave in the end, he still couldn't help but fall in love with him.

Then it was too late. Leeteuk couldn't stop him from falling in love because he already was. And it made him angry again because Leeteuk didn't understand and was trying to stop him. He was supposed to understand. He had dealt with this.

Heechul stepped back from him.

"Thank you for your concern, brother." Heechul said in an icy tone. "But it's too late."

Leeteuk's face fell. It hurt Heechul to see him like this. But he was just so angry at everything.

"It's too late." Heechul continued. "And besides, brother or not, who are you to tell me who I can and cannot fall in love with."

"Heechul,"

"No. You have no right to forbid me to fall in love with him." Heechul spat at him and Leeteuk's eyes sought his.

"Heechul, I'm sorry you just realized this- "

"I don't care." Heechul said, firmly. "I don't care if he's a traveller."

Leeteuk stayed silent as Heechul stepped further away from him.

"All of this is none of your business, your highness." Heechul sarcastically pointed out. "And besides, didn't all of you wanted this to happen? Didn't all of you want me to find someone? To love someone? You of all people should know that."

"Not like this, Heechul. Not him." Leeteuk said in a pained voice.

Not him.

Then who then? Because there was no one else other than Hankyung.

"Well, I'm sorry." Heechul silently said, his hands on the curtain by the door. "It's too late."

And without another word, Heechul left hoping that Leeteuk was just wrong.

* * * * *

Heechul ran towards the gardens, pushing through shrubs and flowers and as he arrived, he stopped as he tried to catch up with his breathing. He didn't know why he went there. He just wanted to run away.

That was the first time he had defied Leeteuk and he knew the eldest prince didn't mean to. But it was all just too much. Arguing with him and leaving him like that hurt Heechul too.

Heechul had never felt stupid in all his life. But what Leeteuk said...

A rustle among the trees made Heechul turn around and he braced himself. He thought he was alone. His eyes darted past the trees and gaps in the bushes. The garden had been so silent and dark that Heechul didn't even think to himself that someone was here. The moon was the only light illuminating the whole place and he thanked it for accompanying him.

"Who's there?" Heechul said, looking around. "I order you to reveal yourself."

After a moment, someone emerged. It was Hankyung. He was wearing the black and red robes he wore when he first arrived. The one that Heechul loved and he relaxed. But then he remembered what Leeteuk had said to him and he grew rigid again.

"Hankyung," Heechul breathed. His heart ached and he must have looked like a wreck in front of him under the moonlight because Hankyung's eyes widened at the sight of him and he was suddenly there close to him, cupping his face in his hands.

"Heechul," Hankyung looked at him, searching his eyes for answers and Heechul just continued to stare back at him painfully. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Heechul didn't know what to tell him. Looking at him hurt too. But his hands in his face felt so warm and comforting that Heechul caved.

"No, I'm not. I..." Heechul looked away. "Leeteuk and I had an argument and we ended up fighting about it."

Hankyung looked surprised. He released his hold on him so Heechul could relax better.

"I didn't know snow princes fought amongst themselves." He said and Heechul shook his head.

"We don't. In fact," Heechul breathed. "It was my fault."

Hankyung smiled at him softly.

"It couldn't have been."

Heechul didn't know why Hankyung trusted him so much. But it felt comforting that someone did.

"It was the biggest argument I've ever had with him." Heechul whispered. "I've never fought with him before."

Hankyung took his hands and rubbed the back of it. "What did you argue about?"

Heechul didn't know if it was proper to tell him but there really was no way to keep it from him. He was bound to talk to him about it.

"It was about you."

Hankyung looked at him, taken aback at what he said. Heechul knew he hadn't expected that. And to his surprise, Hankyung dropped his hand slowly and stepped back. He then hung his head and said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you two fight."

It was Heechul's turn to cup his face, making him look at him. "No, no. It wasn't your fault. Leeteuk just said some things and I got mad but you never did anything."

Hankyung covered Heechul's hand that was cupping the sides of his face in his own. "I'm still sorry. I don't want to destroy what you have with them."

Heechul dropped his hands but still held Hankyung's. "You didn't. We're alright. We'll probably forget about it tomorrow and laugh about it someday."

Heechul knew that wouldn't happen. What Leeteuk said to him left something deep and then he remembered again why they had argued.

"Do you know what traveller's do? They never stay."

"They leave in the end."

Heechul looked at Hankyung, feeling this weird pain in his chest. Should he ask? He needed to know.

"Heechul?" Hankyung asked, looking at him.

Heechul swallowed, taking his time and said, "Leeteuk told me something today. Something that I didn't want to come true. But I know it can't be helped."

Hankyung looked at him. "What? Maybe I can help?"

Heechul doubted he could but continued. "He said that I shouldn't be too close to you."

Hankyung frowned. "Why?"

"Because you're a traveler." Heechul said. "A traveler. Traveler's never stay."

Hankyung still looked at him confused.

"I'm sorry but I don't understand." Hankyung said. "Yes, I can't stay here forever but I don't know why this would affect you and why would his majesty just realize this now."

So he really was going to leave, Heechul thought sadly. He knew he was going to. Eventually. But to hear him say that...

"He knew that." Heechul continued. "He knew you weren't going to stay forever. But I didn't."

Hankyung looked at him and Heechul couldn't understand his expression. But he continued.

"I didn't realize that you were going to leave. Maybe I was too distracted or I just enjoyed having you with us. With me. I don't know. But he told me that I had to stop myself from falling in love with you even further because- "

"You love me?"

Heechul stopped and looked at him, wondering why he asked that when he realized he had almost said it.

Horrified, Heechul shook his head.

"No. Hankyung, I... What I meant was..." Heechul stammered again and he hated feeling like this. Feeling helpless. He wasn't supposed to know.

"Don't. Don't answer that." Hankyung said firmly, taking both of his hands in his.

"I don't know if you do or not." Hankyung continued. "Maybe you don't. And I'm just a bit hopeful for believing that you do. I don't know either. But I want to let you know that I do."

Heechul stared back at him. What?

Hankyung was smiling softly.

"I never believed in love at first sight. Because I never thought it was true." Hankyung looked so sure. "But then I saw you, in the hall... You had your face turned away from me and I didn't see you first... I was too nervous standing in front of all of you. Standing in front of the famous Snow Princes of the South. But then you looked up. And my heart stopped beating."

Heechul couldn't believe his ears.

"All of the princes were beautiful. Everyone was handsome, beautiful... But you... Heechul, you were the one I saw out of all of them."

Was this real? Heechul thought.

"You were so cold and intimidating that I was afraid of you. But I was so attracted to this prince and I knew you weren't anything like that."

"I was hesitant to talk to you." Hankyung looked away. "I was hesitant and ashamed because I had all these thoughts about you, holding your hand, seeing you smile for me, making sure you were safe beside me... And I had no right to want you. I had no right. But yet I still did. You were kind to the people and the love you have for your brothers is so great... You weren't cold and intimidating to me anymore. I saw past that. I saw someone warm and filled with love to his people and to his family."

"That time in the bamboo forest where I thought there were real assassins out to get you, I didn't know what to think. Just that I needed to protect you. You were suddenly so precious to me and I would rather die for you than to find you missing.

Heechul felt cold. And oddly enough, warm.

"These past few days, I've never felt so confused in all my life. I haven't felt this way before. This is all new to me and I'm not even sure what this is called but I know now. I know." Hankyung took Heechul's hands and the snow prince looked at him.

"I've never felt so brave and bold in my entire life to ask you, a prince, if I'm good enough for you. And maybe I'm not. But that time in the snow, lying next to you, your cheeks so red and the snow against your skin... That moment we both shared... I felt something. Did you, maybe... feel something too?"

He felt it too. Heechul's mind and heart raced. He felt that too.

"I know I have no right to say this." Hankyung breathed. "I am just a traveler. I can't offer you anything worthy of what I am about to say but my prince, I need you to know..."

Heechul couldn't breathe. But he waited. He waited.

"I love you, Prince Heechul." Hankyung said and Heechul knew from the sound of his voice that he was sure. "I love you."

Heechul just stood there, not clearly understanding what just happened but he suddenly found himself rushing forward into Hankyung's arms and just basked in the feeling of someone holding him, loving him, for the first time ever in his entire life.

- part 7 -