can't sleep
wow... go'n thru old LJs and spiral notebooks... i was such a happy person back then ;)
life doesn't get better / thats purely a lie / once you've screwed up / your're just waiting to die / things might seem to get better / for a few months or years / but in the end / will come nothing but tears
******
a college degree; the only way to survive / the harder I try the less I feel alive / maybe it isn't the path for me / maybe I don't know what I want to be / what I do know is that you don't know best / you don't have a degree so give it a rest / people can be happy without a high paying job / let me follow my dreams, don't make me sob
*****
I wish I hadn't, what more can I say
never imagined what would happen when I went away
I lacked the insight to consider that things might change
in my mind the move was the only way
would things be different had I decided to stay
thats the question that haunts me everyday
not in a quiet wisper, I'm talking double forte
I'm but a lonely wannabe DJ
are you able to picture what I'm trying to portray
now I'm writing what looks like one big cliche
trying to remind myself that things could still be ok
find a tape of it all and just hit rewind and play
but then I would only find to my dismay
nothing could be done but fall to my knees and pray
no new hope, no sunlight, not a single ray
in tears, in blood, how must i pay
looking at my faults, as if a bust of clay
i can see now what brought me to this day
and how my life quickly fell to such disarray
just one question if i may
why in my understanding must there be this delay
I guess I'm really just trying to convey
regret...
life doesn't get better / thats purely a lie / once you've screwed up / your're just waiting to die / things might seem to get better / for a few months or years / but in the end / will come nothing but tears
******
a college degree; the only way to survive / the harder I try the less I feel alive / maybe it isn't the path for me / maybe I don't know what I want to be / what I do know is that you don't know best / you don't have a degree so give it a rest / people can be happy without a high paying job / let me follow my dreams, don't make me sob
*****
I wish I hadn't, what more can I say
never imagined what would happen when I went away
I lacked the insight to consider that things might change
in my mind the move was the only way
would things be different had I decided to stay
thats the question that haunts me everyday
not in a quiet wisper, I'm talking double forte
I'm but a lonely wannabe DJ
are you able to picture what I'm trying to portray
now I'm writing what looks like one big cliche
trying to remind myself that things could still be ok
find a tape of it all and just hit rewind and play
but then I would only find to my dismay
nothing could be done but fall to my knees and pray
no new hope, no sunlight, not a single ray
in tears, in blood, how must i pay
looking at my faults, as if a bust of clay
i can see now what brought me to this day
and how my life quickly fell to such disarray
just one question if i may
why in my understanding must there be this delay
I guess I'm really just trying to convey
regret...