(no subject)
Attention, all people who have randomly up and moved places that were unfamiliar to them for any extended period of time: how the fuck did you do that? I've been here almost 6 months and while I'm getting used to the area a bit more, I still don't quite feel like I belong here. I'm counting down the days until I can go to the closest thing I have to a home for a bit. I'm having a hard time dealing with the lack of stability in my life. There was never any possibility of an emotional connection to my parents, so I tried to form them with my friends and the area around me. Now that's gone. I guess I could make new friends, and I am trying to do that. But when I'm desperate for companionship, I tend to attract people who may put on a charming facade at first, then in time behave with increasing psychopathic abandon. Not cool. So even if I did find cool people, I probably wouldn't really trust them. And without trust, there is no meaningful connection. If I never let them in, I won't feel so sad when they leave too. It's not logical, but what's the alternative?