fic | poker face | r | gabe/andy | the office
title: poker face
pairing: gabe/andy, references to gabe/erin, andy/erin and oscar/andy if you squint.
disclaimer: I absolutely do not own the office or any of its wondrous characters.
rating: hard r
word count: 1044
spoilers: 2.06 - costume party
a/n: beta’d by me, all mistakes are mine.
summary: gabe’s gaga costume sparks something in andy he can’t ignore.
He hadn’t planned for it to happen like this-not that he’d planned for it to happen at all-but certainly not like this. He was in love with Erin. Erin was dating Gabe. Gabe was his competition, therefore he hated Gabe. He wanted to destroy Gabe. Wanting to have sex with Gabe was not part of the plan. Neither, he supposed, was Gabe showing up to work in a skin-tight Lady Gaga costume, makeup and wig included. To be fair, Gabe had a really nice body, and he made a really hot lady. But he was still a man, not to mention the man he was competing with for his woman. Erin. Because there was no way Gabe dressed up as Lady Gaga could count as him being a woman, right? While it would make the situation a bit easier to deal with, the fact of the matter was, Gabe was not a woman. Gabe was a man for the other 364 days of the year and would be a man again on the first of November.
Which happened to be only minutes away. Shit. It was almost midnight and he was in bed with the now-sleeping enemy, and at some point in the next few hours, he’d have to come to terms with what had just happened.
It had all started with that damn costume. How was it even the littlest bit work-appropriate? For a woman, sure, but for a dude to come in dressed like that… it should be against policy. Especially when that dude’s girlfriend is working in the same office as them, and double especially when that dude’s girlfriend’s ex boyfriend is also working in the same office. It’s not like it’s fair to take some super average looking dude and have him come into the office all transformed into being this sex-bomb-looking-thing. People should be able to go to work without having to worry about being caught in a suddenly-super-attracted-to-your-co-worker-who’s-dating-your-ex-girlfriend situation. Right?
But that costume, it did things to him. Seriously unexpected things. Okay, so it’s not like they were that unexpected, considering past… circumstances. But they were unexpected in the sense that this was Gabe, totally boring, average Gabe that he hated, and now he had a major woody because of totally boring, average Gabe that he hated and he hated it.
And honestly, it’d be one thing if that was the only unexpected reaction he was experiencing. But that costume, he swore it must have been evil or possessed or something. It wasn’t super often that just looking at someone sparked a fire deep within his soul. Hell, the last time he remembers something like that happening was… well, he wasn’t going to think too much about that. The point was, it shouldn’t be normal. It wasn’t normal and that was the problem. It was so entirely abnormal that he didn’t know what to do with himself.
So he did what every other hot-blooded male would have done in the same situation. He waited until after work when the building was almost empty, confronted the culprit, and seduced, seduced, seduced. Okay, so it was more like he mouthed off a few really awkward pick-up lines and Gabe was horny as fuck too so they decided to do it. As it happened to turn out, Andy wasn’t the only one aroused by the Gaga get-up. Gabe was rocking a pretty painful perma-boner all day, and to be propositioned was a huge sigh of relief for him. Who knew shy, boring, vanilla Gabe was so… not vanilla?
A few hours, some beers, and some false teeth bites later, they were back at Gabe’s apartment. Gabe was ripping open the buttons on Andy’s shirt while Andy’s nails scratched against Gabe’s corset, trying to figure out how to get the dang thing open and off as quickly as possible. Luckily for him, Gabe intervened, throwing the corset to the side and allowing Andy to run his hands over his midsection. They brought their faces together until they were nearly suffocated by the other’s burning breath, when finally Andy roamed his hand up to the back of Gabe’s wig and pulled him into a kiss. It was hot and rough and everything they’d never had with Erin. They pulled apart some minutes later so that Andy could pull Gabe’s undershirt up over his synthetically blonde head, revealing the lacey, black push-up bra he’d been wearing underneath. Andy stood there in shock, eyes frozen on Gabe’s chest, mouth hanging open, arousal radiating throughout his body. If that’s what he was wearing underneath on top…
Andy let his hands find the zipper on Gabe’s pants and began to undo them, which was apparently a cue for Gabe to attach his lips to Andy’s neck. Andy gently let Gabe’s pants fall to the ground as his eyes widened, staring at the matching lacey, black panties and the very obvious arousal they were containing. Gabe kicked off his shoes, still nibbling against Andy’s jaw line. Yeah, he could definitely roll with this. And besides, he could always blame the alcohol later, right?
It was later now. The sleeping princess’ mascara was smeared on his pillow and his wig was crooked. The Bowie lightning bolt was now more in the shape of a giant oval covering his cheek and a bit of his nose. He had a fingerless-glove-covered hand cupping his jaw and Andy wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a more intriguingly perfect sight in his life. Gabe shifted a bit in his sleep, nudging closer to Andy, whose lips curled up into a half smile.
Okay so maybe things were going to be totally weird in the morning. Maybe Erin would find out and maybe things wouldn’t last between her and Gabe after that, or, who knows, maybe she’d be totally into it. Maybe she’d even wish she could have joined in. And maybe Gabe wasn’t a woman and maybe he was this really boring, average, plain, vanilla dude with a totally secret kinky side and sure, all of this was miles away from normal, but maybe that wasn’t the worst thing in the world. He could maybe roll with this.
pairing: gabe/andy, references to gabe/erin, andy/erin and oscar/andy if you squint.
disclaimer: I absolutely do not own the office or any of its wondrous characters.
rating: hard r
word count: 1044
spoilers: 2.06 - costume party
a/n: beta’d by me, all mistakes are mine.
summary: gabe’s gaga costume sparks something in andy he can’t ignore.
He hadn’t planned for it to happen like this-not that he’d planned for it to happen at all-but certainly not like this. He was in love with Erin. Erin was dating Gabe. Gabe was his competition, therefore he hated Gabe. He wanted to destroy Gabe. Wanting to have sex with Gabe was not part of the plan. Neither, he supposed, was Gabe showing up to work in a skin-tight Lady Gaga costume, makeup and wig included. To be fair, Gabe had a really nice body, and he made a really hot lady. But he was still a man, not to mention the man he was competing with for his woman. Erin. Because there was no way Gabe dressed up as Lady Gaga could count as him being a woman, right? While it would make the situation a bit easier to deal with, the fact of the matter was, Gabe was not a woman. Gabe was a man for the other 364 days of the year and would be a man again on the first of November.
Which happened to be only minutes away. Shit. It was almost midnight and he was in bed with the now-sleeping enemy, and at some point in the next few hours, he’d have to come to terms with what had just happened.
It had all started with that damn costume. How was it even the littlest bit work-appropriate? For a woman, sure, but for a dude to come in dressed like that… it should be against policy. Especially when that dude’s girlfriend is working in the same office as them, and double especially when that dude’s girlfriend’s ex boyfriend is also working in the same office. It’s not like it’s fair to take some super average looking dude and have him come into the office all transformed into being this sex-bomb-looking-thing. People should be able to go to work without having to worry about being caught in a suddenly-super-attracted-to-your-co-worker-who’s-dating-your-ex-girlfriend situation. Right?
But that costume, it did things to him. Seriously unexpected things. Okay, so it’s not like they were that unexpected, considering past… circumstances. But they were unexpected in the sense that this was Gabe, totally boring, average Gabe that he hated, and now he had a major woody because of totally boring, average Gabe that he hated and he hated it.
And honestly, it’d be one thing if that was the only unexpected reaction he was experiencing. But that costume, he swore it must have been evil or possessed or something. It wasn’t super often that just looking at someone sparked a fire deep within his soul. Hell, the last time he remembers something like that happening was… well, he wasn’t going to think too much about that. The point was, it shouldn’t be normal. It wasn’t normal and that was the problem. It was so entirely abnormal that he didn’t know what to do with himself.
So he did what every other hot-blooded male would have done in the same situation. He waited until after work when the building was almost empty, confronted the culprit, and seduced, seduced, seduced. Okay, so it was more like he mouthed off a few really awkward pick-up lines and Gabe was horny as fuck too so they decided to do it. As it happened to turn out, Andy wasn’t the only one aroused by the Gaga get-up. Gabe was rocking a pretty painful perma-boner all day, and to be propositioned was a huge sigh of relief for him. Who knew shy, boring, vanilla Gabe was so… not vanilla?
A few hours, some beers, and some false teeth bites later, they were back at Gabe’s apartment. Gabe was ripping open the buttons on Andy’s shirt while Andy’s nails scratched against Gabe’s corset, trying to figure out how to get the dang thing open and off as quickly as possible. Luckily for him, Gabe intervened, throwing the corset to the side and allowing Andy to run his hands over his midsection. They brought their faces together until they were nearly suffocated by the other’s burning breath, when finally Andy roamed his hand up to the back of Gabe’s wig and pulled him into a kiss. It was hot and rough and everything they’d never had with Erin. They pulled apart some minutes later so that Andy could pull Gabe’s undershirt up over his synthetically blonde head, revealing the lacey, black push-up bra he’d been wearing underneath. Andy stood there in shock, eyes frozen on Gabe’s chest, mouth hanging open, arousal radiating throughout his body. If that’s what he was wearing underneath on top…
Andy let his hands find the zipper on Gabe’s pants and began to undo them, which was apparently a cue for Gabe to attach his lips to Andy’s neck. Andy gently let Gabe’s pants fall to the ground as his eyes widened, staring at the matching lacey, black panties and the very obvious arousal they were containing. Gabe kicked off his shoes, still nibbling against Andy’s jaw line. Yeah, he could definitely roll with this. And besides, he could always blame the alcohol later, right?
It was later now. The sleeping princess’ mascara was smeared on his pillow and his wig was crooked. The Bowie lightning bolt was now more in the shape of a giant oval covering his cheek and a bit of his nose. He had a fingerless-glove-covered hand cupping his jaw and Andy wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a more intriguingly perfect sight in his life. Gabe shifted a bit in his sleep, nudging closer to Andy, whose lips curled up into a half smile.
Okay so maybe things were going to be totally weird in the morning. Maybe Erin would find out and maybe things wouldn’t last between her and Gabe after that, or, who knows, maybe she’d be totally into it. Maybe she’d even wish she could have joined in. And maybe Gabe wasn’t a woman and maybe he was this really boring, average, plain, vanilla dude with a totally secret kinky side and sure, all of this was miles away from normal, but maybe that wasn’t the worst thing in the world. He could maybe roll with this.