HERE IS THE NEWS! or, THERE IS NO REAL NEWS, SO WE MADE SOME UP

[theshotgunsound]

-recording tonight. thanks to these guys.
-show with WIVES pending @ das smell.
-june 1st @ 51 buckingham?
-sergio was killed by fire ants, and has been replaced with a chimp wearing a bill clinton mask.
-adrian's heroin use got out of hand and his left arm had to be amputated. we're still better than def leppard.

Comments

[albini_is_tight]

put my band, splendor, on one of your shows at the smell. we're good, we can see who's better. one of your little brothers can vouch from our show at the CIA. psychedelic head-fuck swirlin sounds shit, get hip to it bitchez

[theshotgunsound]

we'll scratch your back if you scratch ours, loverboy

[tested_positive]

yo, im adrian, im in jmtss, what do you guys sound like?
who have you played with??
what are your influences?
how many members do you guys have???
how old are you guys?
what local bands are you down with???

-we can see whos better?
i like that attitude.

[albini_is_tight]

velvet underground, primal scream, syd barrett, jesus and mary chain, sabbath, mbv, spacemen 3, hendrix is the closest we'll get to comparisons.

17-20

we dont have any friends. i dont really want to namedrop who our comrades are, but they've got their shit going on is all im spittin'.

[albini_is_tight]

i forgot to add drugs to the influences.

[tested_positive]

ah yes, drugs are nice.
im so sick of all these piss headed edge bands whos fans beat the shit out of eachother instead of smokin' the devils lettuce and enjoying the show.
but yeah, on a serious note, i like to hear name dropping, so lets give it up for the comrades, name drop, dodge the bullets, side swipe, M.Bison, nigger lunch, karate sand clit, holocaust summer camp, adolf the rednose reign deer. you get the picture.

what bands are you down with?!

[albini_is_tight]

we dont do that. the only local band i know is wires on gay. we're not doing it for the sake of being "dudes in bands," it's music.

[theshotgunsound]

it's ok. the only bands we know are really fucking shitty. like uhhh child porno...that's really the only one i have a major fucking beef with. fuck those guys. let's play together. i like the size of your cock...iness. cockiness.

[tested_positive]

nah brah, child porn is way tight. they make you danse and shit.
okay, on a serious note, if you fuck with Nicole, you got beef with me. You can mess with the other guy.
We also have beef with those faggots: Trillionaire Boy Toys.
Those guys really fucking suck golf balls through garden hoses. fuck TBT. if i see those fuckers, they know not to fucking lay eyes on me, ill have their molars on the ground.
SC, bitch.

[ron_reagan_mask]

nah man, nicole's good to me. but its that other guy. the one with down syndrome.

[tested_positive]

hahahaha.
the one with down syndrome.
man o man.
whew.
hey man, lemme have some of your dnL

It has begun.

[lamarxadivina]

We're comin' for ya', bitch. Short shorts, night sticks, the baddest fuckin' brazziers thine eyes have ever seen, and we're takin' your hippy singer with us. Roll another spliff and tell me who reigns this side of the 57, chump.

- The Trill Thrill B Boys.

Re: It has begun.

[tested_positive]

oh look, its the faggots.
we can see what goes on out of the livejournal world.
we got a party on friday. nothing but shotgun friends.
youre invited to get your ass kicked.
ive said it before and ill say it again.
FUCK TBT

[tested_positive]

yeah...mhmm...
so you want a show with us???
have you heard or seen us live before?
if so, we'll put you on one of our bills, i need your contact.
okey dokey?
thanks.

-adrian

[albini_is_tight]

my bass player drives your sister tayde home from school.

[theshotgunsound]

!!!!!