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Are there any titles for women (along the lines of Miss & Mrs.) that aren't defined by her relationship to a man? I do not consider the frequently-used "Ms." to be a good substitute. "Ms." whines, "I wanted to find a title that didn't automatically declare me either an unwed daughter or a wife, but I lacked the creativity to invent anything
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I like the idea of a family name- so that I can be a part of the Boreanaz's and it will define my husband and my children and me as part of the same group. And I like the sense of history that a name conveys, that it links me to however many generations, forward and backward. But the idea of giving up my heritage in favor of my husband's is loathsome.
The idea of inventing a last name is no good for me, because it severs me from all history.
My name is my father's name. I don't see any particular reason why I need to be defined by him. The last name isn't whom you are submitting to by any means, but it does classify you in a big way.
I'm probably going to take my husband's name, because the idea of a family name is so important to me, and I don't have any better suggestions. Since I don't like the invention of a new name, and because taking the woman's name raises exactly the same problems, I'm willing to go with tradition.
But goddamn it, if anyone ever tries to call me "Mrs. Joe Shmoe" instead of "Ms. Galen Shmoe," there are going to be some huge fucking problems. Taking his name is one thing, but obliterating my name completely so that I can be recognized only in relation to him is quite another. Also, I'm a forever Ms. It's not the best, but it's the best of what's out there.
In other news, I understand that engagement rings make sense from a historical context- a good faith gift showing financial stability- but it seems kind of absurd from a current viewpoint that only the woman wears one.
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