man

[theshagyman]

man, im so bored. i get paid tomorow and its going to be my biggest check of the year. but i cant really go anywhere and spend my money and have a good time. my brother norm blew the tire on his car while swerving away from another car..because he was trying to text me on his phone. dumbass. i already have it planned out, im getting a month membership at global tan and the rest of the money is going towards a new ymca membership....i will be very good looking soon...youll see lol...unless its more then a hundred dollers...if thats the case then i will schedule a drivers test and hopefully get my liscence. i was supposed to take someone out to dinner..but im not doing that now. staying at my dads is forcing me to grow up faster then i want to. i start at omni in like 2 weeks . i really dont want to go there but i dont have many other options. i know some of the people that go there so it wont be like a new school. but i dont like the people that have to go there, they seem dumber then me..but i guess not cause it looks like im heading there. now i have to either get my job title changed. or get a new one. dammit.. i went in to american eagle and the gave me an interview and i think i did well. but i havent heard from them so im just sitting around waiting for them to call.

im completely threw with the ashley girl...everytime i call her she acts all super excited and she says she cant wait to hang out with me and stuff. but we dont. for some reason or another. i was looking foward to her coming back from washington so bad...i wanted to try to start that over agian, i waited around and made sure that i was available the day she came back..and she never called. then i called her the next day and she said she was eating dinner and she was going to call me right back..never called back...and that was like three days ago. so im done trying to get her back. im not sad or anything ..it just bugs me that i screwed that up ...i suck. now im stuck with this feeling of rejection and its getting to me. my best friend andrew has pretty much replaced me with his girlfriend and we dont even hang out anymore unless ive planeed it a week ahead of time, he like lives in her vagina and it sucks..hes not even the same person anymore. then ..my other best friend has seemingly replaced me...and i dont know why...ever since i told her my feelings she hasnt been the same person...i knew i shouldnt have told her at the time but i couldnt hold it in anymore..and now shes different.....then my other friends have been to busy stuck up there girlfriends asses to even try to talk to me anymore...its starting to get annoying..this has happend to me once before ..when my mom fucked up the bills and i lived without a car or phone or cable...all of my friends left me slowly ..and the only person i had left to count on was andrew...but it looks like im pretty much on my own this time.... im left with this incredible feeling of lonelyness.. i hate it....and im trying everything i can to make it go away.. but it still lingers on. its like.. everytime i start to feel happy...i think of my future...and how it just makes me depressed
...i was always scared to move away from all of my friends and family..but now.. not so much ..they havent been there for me .. i would love to move somewhere..anywhere and start over ..say goodbye to everyone i know and love and just start fresh....but i know that i cant it sucks..i dont have enought money....i dont have a car...or a diploma yet...or a place to go for that matter. man this sucks

i have this overwhelming feeling of abandonment looming over my head and i was counting on my friends to make me feel better...bad idea

im not even in a bad mood, i just got sick and tired of sitting on my dads couch and thinking of how great it would be if someone called me and wanted to do something, and that obviously got me a little down

sigh

lol the only thing thats going to make me feel better is going to the mall...and picking up some chicks ill see what i can do friday