(no subject)
Nothing more fun than going to a wedding and discovering that you haven't quite dealt with the hurt from a previous relationship. The wedding part is irrelevant, but the open wound from previous relationship kept aching. Aren't three years long enough to get over these feelings of betrayal and exploitation?
It also sucked to realize that all of these people I haven't seen much of in about a year have all moved on without me, and while they seemed happy to see me I couldn't quite get over the fact that they didn't need me for any of it, they've all gone elsewhere and I've been left behind.
I felt alone and out of touch and a lot of people I cared (and still care) about have found other places to be.
And all because I decided not to dance, really. It's a crappy feeling that such a singular thing can be so destructive to my social life, that I can say "I don't really want to do that" and suddenly I lose everything that goes along with it?
I dunno.
I feel like I unwittingly cast aside everyone I knew and loved because I couldn't handle the peripheral stuff. And I don't know if I should feel to blame for it.
It also sucked to realize that all of these people I haven't seen much of in about a year have all moved on without me, and while they seemed happy to see me I couldn't quite get over the fact that they didn't need me for any of it, they've all gone elsewhere and I've been left behind.
I felt alone and out of touch and a lot of people I cared (and still care) about have found other places to be.
And all because I decided not to dance, really. It's a crappy feeling that such a singular thing can be so destructive to my social life, that I can say "I don't really want to do that" and suddenly I lose everything that goes along with it?
I dunno.
I feel like I unwittingly cast aside everyone I knew and loved because I couldn't handle the peripheral stuff. And I don't know if I should feel to blame for it.