Yeah

[thesexyduckling]

So today I realized that what I'm really looking for in a relationship, is someone to take care of me. I don't care how helpless I sound by saying that, it's true. That's what I want. There are so many time in a day when I lean on other people for support; I can't handle life on my own. Maybe no one can, in any case, that is what I realized. With that, however, I also need someone who I can take care of back. The taking-care business has to be 2 sided, or I get bored or feel like a burden or something, I don't know. And the last thing I want in a relationship, (here comes the really selfish part so you may want to stop reading now), is someone who will put me at the center of their universe. Because that's what I do with the people I care about most, I put them at the center of my universe. If im dating someone, and they write a journal entry, I'd automatically look for some mention of my existence in it; it's selfish and I don't even realize it while it's happening, but that's what I do. If they make a photo album, or one of those silly internet profiles that we all have, I'd expect a whole lot of pictures of us together, again, atuomatically. I'd expect them to call me back 5 minutes after talking just because they missed the sound of my voice. I'd expect them to put everything else in their lives on hold to be with me because it'd be that important. Cuz I do all of those things myself. And I know it's horrible and selfish and naive to expect to get the same amount of whatever it is that you give, but i do. It's horrible, it's psycho, yeah, but that's what I need.

And writing this, I realize that apparently what I really want is a whole lot of attention. So I guess I have a lot of growing up to do at this point. Oh well, at least I recognize it.

This is one of the most honest things I've ever written.