The Week I Forgot to Poop.
So, the last week has been pretty... difficult? for me, because the week before last, I, Elizabeth Levy, the person who speaks so incredibly freely about her bowels, apparently didn't realize that I was completely constipated and hadn't "gone" for a week.
My stomach started hurting after sushi with Jess and Luke on Monday, but I ignored it until later that night, after eating some greasy Louies, I was forced into the restroom and made to hug the toilet. Therefore ditching Jess and missing Andrew's birthday. I suck. Fell asleep on the bathroom floor around 2AM-ish. Not too bad, I thought. I woke up on Tuesday and still felt a bit woozy, but I had promised Matthew we'd do some things, so I got up to do them. Ate a small lunch, which I kept down, then ate dinner and tossed it all. Following that, Wednesday I had work. I ate some soup, which I was able to keep down, but I couldn't find it in me to eat anything else. Thursday was when things really started getting bad... I tried to take a bath Thursday morning, thinking I "clearly" had a stomach bug and it would make me feel better, but it just succeeded in nauseating me, and I biled up the toilet. I went to work anyway and was basically useless and was sent home. The rest of Thursday is a blur of my mom, hospitals, and me being violated. Friday I was too exhausted to work. And here I am, Saturday, with a working colon and everything.
We'll leave it at that, because I should probably go work my one real shift this week now.
I know Mafo loved this post.
My stomach started hurting after sushi with Jess and Luke on Monday, but I ignored it until later that night, after eating some greasy Louies, I was forced into the restroom and made to hug the toilet. Therefore ditching Jess and missing Andrew's birthday. I suck. Fell asleep on the bathroom floor around 2AM-ish. Not too bad, I thought. I woke up on Tuesday and still felt a bit woozy, but I had promised Matthew we'd do some things, so I got up to do them. Ate a small lunch, which I kept down, then ate dinner and tossed it all. Following that, Wednesday I had work. I ate some soup, which I was able to keep down, but I couldn't find it in me to eat anything else. Thursday was when things really started getting bad... I tried to take a bath Thursday morning, thinking I "clearly" had a stomach bug and it would make me feel better, but it just succeeded in nauseating me, and I biled up the toilet. I went to work anyway and was basically useless and was sent home. The rest of Thursday is a blur of my mom, hospitals, and me being violated. Friday I was too exhausted to work. And here I am, Saturday, with a working colon and everything.
We'll leave it at that, because I should probably go work my one real shift this week now.
I know Mafo loved this post.