They Call me Buzz....KILLAH.
Man..........what in the hell is wrong with me?
It feels like, I've forgotten how to have fun or something. Maybe it's because I've been on nothing but the receiving end of "mental beatdowns" as of recent memory...but I can't seem to put my finger on it.
Being among big crowds has somehow become "difficult" for me, and I don't know why.
It feels like I have no "life force", or whatever the hell it is that gives you people the energy to interact.
Seriously, as stupid as this feels to write, I feel like I'm dead inside. I feel like the part of me that used to be able to OWN nightclubs doesn't exist anymore.
Being amongst nightlife almost feels like a "test of my patience" now or something...like, I feel like I'm watching everyone around me toss back about a million drinks EVERY weekend, and I just don't feel the need to have even ONE. I'm compelled to inquire of myself if I'm losing control....(or if I've already lost it)....but I just don't know.....maybe I'm finally just getting old.....
As strange as it seems, the only people I feel 100% comfortable around at ALL times now are people I work with. Even MORE strange, is the fact that when I'm at work, it seems like it's the only time I'm ever enjoying life....when it used to be the other way around.
It's like my brain has been raped or something.....
- R.
It feels like, I've forgotten how to have fun or something. Maybe it's because I've been on nothing but the receiving end of "mental beatdowns" as of recent memory...but I can't seem to put my finger on it.
Being among big crowds has somehow become "difficult" for me, and I don't know why.
It feels like I have no "life force", or whatever the hell it is that gives you people the energy to interact.
Seriously, as stupid as this feels to write, I feel like I'm dead inside. I feel like the part of me that used to be able to OWN nightclubs doesn't exist anymore.
Being amongst nightlife almost feels like a "test of my patience" now or something...like, I feel like I'm watching everyone around me toss back about a million drinks EVERY weekend, and I just don't feel the need to have even ONE. I'm compelled to inquire of myself if I'm losing control....(or if I've already lost it)....but I just don't know.....maybe I'm finally just getting old.....
As strange as it seems, the only people I feel 100% comfortable around at ALL times now are people I work with. Even MORE strange, is the fact that when I'm at work, it seems like it's the only time I'm ever enjoying life....when it used to be the other way around.
It's like my brain has been raped or something.....
- R.