Something I Wrote To Cheer Val Up a While Back
In preparing her Valentine's Day letter, I found this and just had to post it:
Abraham Lincoln,
I have a lincoln log addiction,
shooting smack into my eyelids,
my mother thinks I'm smoking legos and sudafed
and Mrs. Claus is a homewrecker sociopath.
Do the math: I have the Easter Bunny's skull
mounted on my stomach's inner wall,
like a foreskin cowboy
play doh reading Plato watching Different Strokes with Dana Plato to masturbato,
domie errogato Mr. Roboto,
Doctor Spocko eating a taco in the docko of Scott Bayo.
Just say no,
the mighty morphine power ranger of doom!
OF DOOM!
I'll be the bride if you be the groom,
Lenin's tomb has no leg room,
watching Coccoon in Dodge City at high noon.
Too the moon, Alice, I have lettuce that won't let us
regret us,
blow up your car and take the bus,
if you must cuss it's a plus if
your herpes are made of dust.
I bathe in Alice Cooper's underpants,
I'm in a trance that at first glance
might be the last chance to snort a line
of fire ants.
Ozzy Osbourne watching child porn,
I have yet to be born,
it's not a duck if it has a horn...
Star Trek on cable,
with the sound set to piercing.
Now that's what I call a imbred shoe salesmen turned Hollywood stud muffin oil tycoon! Haha, now here's Tom with the weather.