to the limits of being an ass
I warn in advance.. this is a long story.
something happened earlier this week that riled me up so much that now I must share it with those of you who still have me on your list.
In order for you to properly experience this story allow for me to set this up for you: (though it is long and if you so choose you can skip forward to the meat of the story)
There's this girl at work that i like a lot. A few months ago we were even gonna date and did have a little thing. Though we're amazing as friends, we decided that the chances that we wouldn't work out as a couple were too great and we didn't want to risk the friendship ("we" being "she". i would've taken that bet because she's awesome, but i digress). So despite still meaning A LOT to each other, we are just friends. She started dating this guy later on and because she is so so so sweet (if you met her for even two seconds you'd understand) her only worry was that this would push a wedge between us as friends (because most guys reaction would be to be whiny and jealous and thus me and her bf couldn't be in the same room together). Not wanting her to have to worry about anything (ever) I thusly decided i would be the most understanding person ever.
That is just the back story for the set up. This is the actual set up. Keep in mind now that i'm doing my best to be super understanding and thus never say anything bad (to her) about her bf.
1) The first week they were going out and thus on their first official time (maybe second) dating he decides to ask her for her Pin Number and then proceed to get mad when she says no. Later on he would reason that he comes from a family who shares those things and didn't realise that was a weird thing to ask. This, i have concluded, is a lie. Why? Because she had retorted "well why don't you tell me yours?" and he refused.
2) This girl has health issues which make her immune system a little low and thusly she's very susceptible to getting sick. Knowing this, Asshat (her bf), decides one day that despite being sick as a dog because of the flu he was gonna go to her place and lay on the couch. Mutual friends tell me he laid there and moaned the whole time which made him seem like an anti-social idiot and thus her friends don't like him either. Why come over if you're that sick? So anyways... obviously... she got sick. So sick, in fact, that she missed a concert she had tickets for on the Friday night. He knows this because he was the one she would've gone to the concert with. So he calls her Saturday (the very next day) and asks her if she's coming to his hockey game. She says she's too sick. He gets mad and yells at her.
Red flags everywhere. He's obviously a controlling, over possessive, ass. BUT.. she maintains that except for those rare moments he's extremely sweet to her so i try really hard not to say anything.
Until...
Because i'm nice to this girl and take care of her, her grandmother likes me. I think her grandmother is the sweetest thing ever. So somehow i got invited to dinner Thursday. Its the first time we've hung out outside of work in like 2 months. This girl (i'm gonna start calling her "S" though her name has no S in it...) also has to meet some friends for drinks because it's her friend's birthday. So me and "S" are hanging at the mall till 4:30 when she has to meet them for drinks and then we'll go see Grandma. We get off of work at 3. She forgets to turn her cell back on (she turns the volume down at work). At 4 we're sitting in the mall when she realises she needs to turn her cell back on and immediately she receives a call from HIM. He's yelling and freaking out. I should point out he wasn't actually calling for any reason. He just likes to know where she is. ALL THE TIME. They've been officially going out about 2-3 weeks or so.
BF: "Why aren't you picking up?? Why haven't you answered my calls?? I left messages, you didn't answer my messages!! Are you not picking up because you're with MATT!!???"
(firstly, she's still with me. I'm sitting across from her. If she was ignoring him then why would she pick up now? secondly it's a brand new phone she got that week and honestly didn't realise she had messages because she didn't recognise the icon. I had to tell her she did. And she's notorious for not turning her phone on anyway so he has NO reason to be suspicious especially since she already told him her plans.)
"WHERE ARE YOU?"
S: "Well i'm at the mall..."
BF: "i'm coming RIGHT NOW."
S: "You're headed to the mall?"
BF: "I'm in my car. I'm gonna drive there RIGHT NOW. Meet me at Shopper's Drugmart." (or something like that.. she says okay and then he hangs up)
S (to me): "He's on his way here right now. Are you okay with that? :( (she's still so sweet. worried that i'll be uncomfortable)
ME: "Yea, of course i am. In fact maybe it'd be better if you took him to meet your friends at the b-day thing instead of me going with you."
S makes an unsure face: "I want him to come to things i INVITE him to, not just show up and be like 'i'm going'."
Me: "Do you want me to go?"
S: "Of course i do. I'm not sure i want HIM to go if he's acting like this.."
Me: "No, i mean do you want me to GO..." I gesture towards the door.
S: "NO! My Grandma wants to see you". (this is the first time i hear of this)
Me: "Really? Okay... well i'm okay, "S". I guess i get to meet him now. It won't bother me at all. Don't worry."
"S" is pleased. Now her close friend and her bf can become friends.
Or not.
We're walking to where he said to meet him when she sees a lime green hoodie she's wanted FOREVER on sale. We run into the store and she buys it. While doing this we see HIM walk by. In retrospect i realise that this means he had to see us walk into the store. This explains a lot.
We walk out and go to Shopper's Drugmart which is RIGHT NEXT TO US and he's not there.
S: "What the? He said to meet him here."
Me: "Maybe he's inside."
S: "Nooo... I just saw him run into Sears." (about 15-20 feet away. Some music comes from a nearby store so we're doing a silly dance infront of the drugmart when her phone rings.) "Hey. Where are you? (she looks over towards Sears. I follow her gaze and see him DASH behind a rack of coats. He's hiding back there, spying on us. Later on she tells me how the convo went.. it was like this) :
BF: "I'm in Sears!!"
S: "Why?"
BF: "I refuse to meet him!! I don't want to talk to him!!"
S: "What...?"
BF: "GET RID OF HIM!! NOW!!!!" and hangs up.
"S" is about to cry. It's at this moment that i decide i hate him and i don't even know what he's said yet. She says: "He REFUSES to meet you." and looks away.
Me: "S, look at me."
S: "No, because i'll start crying."
Me: "and i'm not leaving you standing in the mall crying."
S: "I'll be fine. I have to go deal with him. I have to see my grandmother afterwards and she'll cheer me up."
Me: "I guess that's right. Okay... i'm going."
Apparently they argued in the mall for an HOUR AND A HALF and she missed her friend's b-day. He claimed he was shy, which she agrees was a lie. He also said, by way of defense, that she should "remember all the wonderful things he's done for her and forgive him for this" which just makes me think every sweet thing he's done, like buy her roses, is just something to use as leverage later. Her grandpa said the same thing actually.
And before you start thinking "well i understand him not wanting to meet you" i should point out it's not just me. It's apparently any male friend she has. Because he's a possessive asshat who yells at her and ruins her plans and makes her cry in the middle of the mall.
Am i wrong to not like him now? Or is that really the stupidest thing you've ever heard? someone tell me.
something happened earlier this week that riled me up so much that now I must share it with those of you who still have me on your list.
In order for you to properly experience this story allow for me to set this up for you: (though it is long and if you so choose you can skip forward to the meat of the story)
There's this girl at work that i like a lot. A few months ago we were even gonna date and did have a little thing. Though we're amazing as friends, we decided that the chances that we wouldn't work out as a couple were too great and we didn't want to risk the friendship ("we" being "she". i would've taken that bet because she's awesome, but i digress). So despite still meaning A LOT to each other, we are just friends. She started dating this guy later on and because she is so so so sweet (if you met her for even two seconds you'd understand) her only worry was that this would push a wedge between us as friends (because most guys reaction would be to be whiny and jealous and thus me and her bf couldn't be in the same room together). Not wanting her to have to worry about anything (ever) I thusly decided i would be the most understanding person ever.
That is just the back story for the set up. This is the actual set up. Keep in mind now that i'm doing my best to be super understanding and thus never say anything bad (to her) about her bf.
1) The first week they were going out and thus on their first official time (maybe second) dating he decides to ask her for her Pin Number and then proceed to get mad when she says no. Later on he would reason that he comes from a family who shares those things and didn't realise that was a weird thing to ask. This, i have concluded, is a lie. Why? Because she had retorted "well why don't you tell me yours?" and he refused.
2) This girl has health issues which make her immune system a little low and thusly she's very susceptible to getting sick. Knowing this, Asshat (her bf), decides one day that despite being sick as a dog because of the flu he was gonna go to her place and lay on the couch. Mutual friends tell me he laid there and moaned the whole time which made him seem like an anti-social idiot and thus her friends don't like him either. Why come over if you're that sick? So anyways... obviously... she got sick. So sick, in fact, that she missed a concert she had tickets for on the Friday night. He knows this because he was the one she would've gone to the concert with. So he calls her Saturday (the very next day) and asks her if she's coming to his hockey game. She says she's too sick. He gets mad and yells at her.
Red flags everywhere. He's obviously a controlling, over possessive, ass. BUT.. she maintains that except for those rare moments he's extremely sweet to her so i try really hard not to say anything.
Until...
Because i'm nice to this girl and take care of her, her grandmother likes me. I think her grandmother is the sweetest thing ever. So somehow i got invited to dinner Thursday. Its the first time we've hung out outside of work in like 2 months. This girl (i'm gonna start calling her "S" though her name has no S in it...) also has to meet some friends for drinks because it's her friend's birthday. So me and "S" are hanging at the mall till 4:30 when she has to meet them for drinks and then we'll go see Grandma. We get off of work at 3. She forgets to turn her cell back on (she turns the volume down at work). At 4 we're sitting in the mall when she realises she needs to turn her cell back on and immediately she receives a call from HIM. He's yelling and freaking out. I should point out he wasn't actually calling for any reason. He just likes to know where she is. ALL THE TIME. They've been officially going out about 2-3 weeks or so.
BF: "Why aren't you picking up?? Why haven't you answered my calls?? I left messages, you didn't answer my messages!! Are you not picking up because you're with MATT!!???"
(firstly, she's still with me. I'm sitting across from her. If she was ignoring him then why would she pick up now? secondly it's a brand new phone she got that week and honestly didn't realise she had messages because she didn't recognise the icon. I had to tell her she did. And she's notorious for not turning her phone on anyway so he has NO reason to be suspicious especially since she already told him her plans.)
"WHERE ARE YOU?"
S: "Well i'm at the mall..."
BF: "i'm coming RIGHT NOW."
S: "You're headed to the mall?"
BF: "I'm in my car. I'm gonna drive there RIGHT NOW. Meet me at Shopper's Drugmart." (or something like that.. she says okay and then he hangs up)
S (to me): "He's on his way here right now. Are you okay with that? :( (she's still so sweet. worried that i'll be uncomfortable)
ME: "Yea, of course i am. In fact maybe it'd be better if you took him to meet your friends at the b-day thing instead of me going with you."
S makes an unsure face: "I want him to come to things i INVITE him to, not just show up and be like 'i'm going'."
Me: "Do you want me to go?"
S: "Of course i do. I'm not sure i want HIM to go if he's acting like this.."
Me: "No, i mean do you want me to GO..." I gesture towards the door.
S: "NO! My Grandma wants to see you". (this is the first time i hear of this)
Me: "Really? Okay... well i'm okay, "S". I guess i get to meet him now. It won't bother me at all. Don't worry."
"S" is pleased. Now her close friend and her bf can become friends.
Or not.
We're walking to where he said to meet him when she sees a lime green hoodie she's wanted FOREVER on sale. We run into the store and she buys it. While doing this we see HIM walk by. In retrospect i realise that this means he had to see us walk into the store. This explains a lot.
We walk out and go to Shopper's Drugmart which is RIGHT NEXT TO US and he's not there.
S: "What the? He said to meet him here."
Me: "Maybe he's inside."
S: "Nooo... I just saw him run into Sears." (about 15-20 feet away. Some music comes from a nearby store so we're doing a silly dance infront of the drugmart when her phone rings.) "Hey. Where are you? (she looks over towards Sears. I follow her gaze and see him DASH behind a rack of coats. He's hiding back there, spying on us. Later on she tells me how the convo went.. it was like this) :
BF: "I'm in Sears!!"
S: "Why?"
BF: "I refuse to meet him!! I don't want to talk to him!!"
S: "What...?"
BF: "GET RID OF HIM!! NOW!!!!" and hangs up.
"S" is about to cry. It's at this moment that i decide i hate him and i don't even know what he's said yet. She says: "He REFUSES to meet you." and looks away.
Me: "S, look at me."
S: "No, because i'll start crying."
Me: "and i'm not leaving you standing in the mall crying."
S: "I'll be fine. I have to go deal with him. I have to see my grandmother afterwards and she'll cheer me up."
Me: "I guess that's right. Okay... i'm going."
Apparently they argued in the mall for an HOUR AND A HALF and she missed her friend's b-day. He claimed he was shy, which she agrees was a lie. He also said, by way of defense, that she should "remember all the wonderful things he's done for her and forgive him for this" which just makes me think every sweet thing he's done, like buy her roses, is just something to use as leverage later. Her grandpa said the same thing actually.
And before you start thinking "well i understand him not wanting to meet you" i should point out it's not just me. It's apparently any male friend she has. Because he's a possessive asshat who yells at her and ruins her plans and makes her cry in the middle of the mall.
Am i wrong to not like him now? Or is that really the stupidest thing you've ever heard? someone tell me.