1. i am looking for structure and stability, and for some reason, my brain is telling me that this should be in the form of a man. right now, i'm not really getting this out of any of my relationships. my dad is too busy with the store to give a fuck about my life. my mom's bf is nice but he doesn't ever interfere or get involved with my personal life or try to make up rules for me since he came into my life pretty late. dino is my boyfriend and all but he's pretty much a pushover and really insecure about a lot of things, which a total turn off to me sometimes but other than that, he's a good person. so, i look to teacher or managers or male friends and think about a lot of different possibilities (sexual, or not)... i feel guilty, but what can you do?
2. there is no such thing as a healthy relationship. i've thrown the notion of that out the window a long time ago. people are too fucked up to be a part of a healthy relationship. everybody's got their problems and it's just a matter of one person's problems overpowering the other, or learning how to balance them and looking past them.
3. i do not want to have sex with my father, no. honestly, when i first started reading about transference, i was a little afraid that this was what it meant haha. but, i hadn't read enough on the topic. i think i have a pretty good grasp on it now. as far as what i'm going to do with it, i'm not so sure. i feel like it is something that i actively want to seek out because i feel it is important to me and that any time i've ever gotten close to any sort of relatioship like this, i've been the most happy. the only thing is what format do i accomplish this? i guess i've just got to re-evaluate a lot of things and figure something out.
1. i am looking for structure and stability, and for some reason, my brain is telling me that this should be in the form of a man. right now, i'm not really getting this out of any of my relationships. my dad is too busy with the store to give a fuck about my life. my mom's bf is nice but he doesn't ever interfere or get involved with my personal life or try to make up rules for me since he came into my life pretty late. dino is my boyfriend and all but he's pretty much a pushover and really insecure about a lot of things, which a total turn off to me sometimes but other than that, he's a good person. so, i look to teacher or managers or male friends and think about a lot of different possibilities (sexual, or not)... i feel guilty, but what can you do?
2. there is no such thing as a healthy relationship. i've thrown the notion of that out the window a long time ago. people are too fucked up to be a part of a healthy relationship. everybody's got their problems and it's just a matter of one person's problems overpowering the other, or learning how to balance them and looking past them.
3. i do not want to have sex with my father, no. honestly, when i first started reading about transference, i was a little afraid that this was what it meant haha. but, i hadn't read enough on the topic. i think i have a pretty good grasp on it now. as far as what i'm going to do with it, i'm not so sure. i feel like it is something that i actively want to seek out because i feel it is important to me and that any time i've ever gotten close to any sort of relatioship like this, i've been the most happy. the only thing is what format do i accomplish this?
i guess i've just got to re-evaluate a lot of things and figure something out.
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