(no subject)
i hate the fact that i write in here. i write for the same reason everyone else does. i do it whenever i feel alone because at least this way i feel as if someone is listening. it's sucks that you get mad at things like that. i guess i see reason why. i just don't want you to hate me. i pretty much need all the sympathy i can get. i just want things to be good. i'm constantly told to not worry but i just seem to fuck up in everyway. sometimes i wish i was just one of those assholes who only cared about sex. not for sex but just because they seem to have it easy. ignorance is bliss. my only problem seems to be that i care too much. i'm really left not knowing what to do. i just want things to work. i want things to be my way. and if they're not i want to get as close as i can. i guess i'm just constantly pleeing for sympathy. it helps. it makes things feel better. i wish i wasn't that way. if i were more independent then i wouldn't have to be that way but i feel very dettached from mostly everything except one person. but that's the one thing that i need to not be attached to in order for things to work. i have no clue what will really come of this. i just want good. at least the way i see it is that i try and i try. to me i think i really try. i just want everything to work. i'd like to think that God is helping me in some way but i don't think god involves himself with romance. he's smarter than that. i am rarely belived when i say things i really feel.
you are beautiful.
better than everyone.
i truly believe that and i dont just say it.
everything else is pretty pointless and trivial to me. right now just don't care about anything else. i wish i didn't get so depressed so easily. i guess it's not as bad as before. but i just hate when there is no one to talk to. there is only one person i want to talk to. when that's gone there is nothing.