(no subject)
So, Dean and I wrote a story tonight because we got bored. It was so fucking brilliant that I decided to share it with the world. Feel free to laugh, plz.
One day, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a boy named Dean. Dean was a pretty normal kid. He liked to play tee-ball and hopscotch, shoot guns, collect stamps, and his favorite food was cookies. Dean was in fourth grade. Dean also enjoyed the Ninja Turtles. One night, while at a rave Dean started trippin' on X, hard. He started twitching and choking on his own tongue. The music was stupid trance crap, as usual. Everyone thought it was funny when Dean started to jitter around and flip out; they laughed at him and stole his shoes. Dean awoke the next morning in a strange bed, while being served breakfast by a beautiful girl. The breakfast was scrambled eggs, burned toast, and orange slices. Dean liked oranges. So, he ate the oranges. The girl looked at him and said "I'm in fourth grade too!"
"Sweet!"
"I'm also a badass Jedi. The name is Tara"
Tara was a girl, thus supported by the fact that she came equipped with a vagina. Aside from her awesome use of the force, she was pretty much like every other fourth grader. She liked coloring inside the lines; and placing her boogers on the wall. Sometimes, when she had the time, she even watched Captain Planet and Pulp Fiction, making her one badass mother fucker. Then came the day when Tara was sent to Dagobah to train with the all mighty Yoda. She returned with some pretty sweet skills. Not exactly of the bow-hunting type, but still. The previous night, Tara had decided to grab some great homogay glow sticks and party [rave] like it was 1999. While there, totally contemplating whose drinks to slip some roofies in, she fell over Dean while he lay seizing on the ground. Contemplating legal action, she slowly rose to her feet and decided that maybe she should stop him from dying. Or from just swallowing his tongue. With the help of her favorite wookie, she led him back to her apartment, and slowly nursed him back to health while helping herself to some cheddar. She liked cheese. A lot. In the wee hours of the morning, he finally awoke with a stir. And thus, the conversation already previously mentioned took place. Then he revealed that his real name was Han and that he kept the Millennium Falcon in his pants. She proceeded to impale Dean with her machete and throw him out the nearest window. Afterwards, she ate more cheddar. God, did she love cheese.
Yeah. We need lives. That's become quite evident. Especially since we spend our nights going to Wal-Mart to look at Star Wars toys and movies I can't afford anymore.
Speaking of movies, look at what I've got:
I got so excited about it yesterday that I watched the trailer about 2840382408320 times and ended up having Star Wars themed dreams last night. In most of them, Anakin was definitely trying to kill me. But regardless, they were still frickin' awesome.
Also, Hotel Rwanda was so good, and it definitely made me cry.
Sleep well, minions.
One day, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a boy named Dean. Dean was a pretty normal kid. He liked to play tee-ball and hopscotch, shoot guns, collect stamps, and his favorite food was cookies. Dean was in fourth grade. Dean also enjoyed the Ninja Turtles. One night, while at a rave Dean started trippin' on X, hard. He started twitching and choking on his own tongue. The music was stupid trance crap, as usual. Everyone thought it was funny when Dean started to jitter around and flip out; they laughed at him and stole his shoes. Dean awoke the next morning in a strange bed, while being served breakfast by a beautiful girl. The breakfast was scrambled eggs, burned toast, and orange slices. Dean liked oranges. So, he ate the oranges. The girl looked at him and said "I'm in fourth grade too!"
"Sweet!"
"I'm also a badass Jedi. The name is Tara"
Tara was a girl, thus supported by the fact that she came equipped with a vagina. Aside from her awesome use of the force, she was pretty much like every other fourth grader. She liked coloring inside the lines; and placing her boogers on the wall. Sometimes, when she had the time, she even watched Captain Planet and Pulp Fiction, making her one badass mother fucker. Then came the day when Tara was sent to Dagobah to train with the all mighty Yoda. She returned with some pretty sweet skills. Not exactly of the bow-hunting type, but still. The previous night, Tara had decided to grab some great homogay glow sticks and party [rave] like it was 1999. While there, totally contemplating whose drinks to slip some roofies in, she fell over Dean while he lay seizing on the ground. Contemplating legal action, she slowly rose to her feet and decided that maybe she should stop him from dying. Or from just swallowing his tongue. With the help of her favorite wookie, she led him back to her apartment, and slowly nursed him back to health while helping herself to some cheddar. She liked cheese. A lot. In the wee hours of the morning, he finally awoke with a stir. And thus, the conversation already previously mentioned took place. Then he revealed that his real name was Han and that he kept the Millennium Falcon in his pants. She proceeded to impale Dean with her machete and throw him out the nearest window. Afterwards, she ate more cheddar. God, did she love cheese.
Yeah. We need lives. That's become quite evident. Especially since we spend our nights going to Wal-Mart to look at Star Wars toys and movies I can't afford anymore.
Speaking of movies, look at what I've got:
I got so excited about it yesterday that I watched the trailer about 2840382408320 times and ended up having Star Wars themed dreams last night. In most of them, Anakin was definitely trying to kill me. But regardless, they were still frickin' awesome.
Also, Hotel Rwanda was so good, and it definitely made me cry.
Sleep well, minions.