Journal of the snow man.

[thescatman]

January 9'th, 2005. 9:05 PM
I was a bit bored, today, so I signed onto AIM. Saw John there, talked for a little. Asked him about the snow, and how packing it was, and....HE SAID IT WAS GREAT PACKING SNOW! Could this be?! Could this be the day I realize my dream?! More later, I need to go test out his claims with my own hands.

January 9'th, 2005. 9:09 PM
The snow is amazing! Some of the best packing snow I've ever dealt with! This is going to be a great day, I can feel it. I will begin immediately! The snowman will live, no matter the costs.

January 9'th, 2005. 10:15 PM
I have begun work on the humongous bottom piece to the snowman. It is getting big very quickly, and it is getting very difficult to push. So much so, that I needed to come in to take a rest and get something to drink. I have to use all my weight just to move the snowball, and it's not getting any smaller. Well, I must go and finish my work now. The snowman will live!

January 9'th, 2005. 10:45 PM
It is simply too big....using all of my weight and strength I can barely move it. I need someone else.....someone big. No, someone huge. Someone...someone almost as big as me! Yes, I know, not too many people are.....but I need to find someone. This snowman must be finished. I know just the man....I'll call him right now.

January 9'th, 2005. 11:25 PM
Sean came to help, and his help was advantageous, indeed. We just began a bit ago, and with both of our exorbitant weights, we're able to push the snowman further and further through the snow, it's size constantly growing at an almost alarming rate. The ball is large enough now to easily kill a man, if dropped on him...but we can't stop. We've come too far, we must brave the dangers and continue on! We're going back out now. Wish us luck.

January 10'th, 2005. 12:32 AM
It's happened...the impossible...the snowball became too big.......even for both of us. We have used a plethora of tools in order to aid us using our knowledge of physics, but is just isn't enough, and we just don't have to tools. Damn you, Government funding! Why couldn't you just give us that extra million? I TOLD YOU WE WOULD NEED IT! But.....this is no time to be angry. We are still well on our way to finishing our quest. We are well on our way to making.....the greatest snowman ever, and no-one can stop us now! We've began planning to make the second half, we will now finish it up and get it on top of the bottom half. This may prove to be one of the more difficult endeavors to overcome in our odyssey.

January 10'th, 2005. 1:21 AM
We finished the second half in an unexpectedly expedient manner, it grew much faster than we originally anticipated. We are now forced with the task of lifting the middle piece onto the huge bottom piece. We have tried to do this with mere physical strength, and it is nearly impossible. We have even tried to build a ramp to roll the ball up, but it is simply too heavy, and too hard to control. We have invested some of the extremely limited Government money given to us to complete the project in a digital camera, to more efficiently document our progress. Here is a picture of me and Sean, battling furiously with the snowman in an effort to complete it. Maybe you can better understand the inexplicable abuse we've had to endure to complete this project, a project that many thought was impossible until we were handed the task.


January 10'th, 2005. 1:30 AM
We have decided this cannot be done without the help of yet another person. We need to find at least one other brave soul to assist us in the creation of this monstrous snowman. We will retrieve this person from the depths of hell if we need to, as he is necessary in completing our task, and we have sworn that nothing will stand in our way. This person needs to be not only huge, like me and Sean, but.....gargantuan...colossal....behemoth in size. We need someone....dare I say it.....who's more than 5 feet 8 inches tall. I've called upon an old friend, Nate, who fills this description and is willing to help us for the meager salary we are offering (zero dollars an hour, amounting to 0 thousand dollars a year). We will set forth to retrieve his assistance immediately.

January 10'th, 2005. 1:45 AM
We have returned with more help than we expected. Nate's girlfriend, Ashley, has agreed to join our cause. This will be a great day indeed. We are close, I can feel it, and with this extra help, I see no way we can't accomplish our goal. I think......I think I will realize my dream this very morning! This is not to say, though, that it will be an easy task. The middle piece of the snowman has reached the point where it is heavy enough to be lethal, as well. Lifting this piece up to it's rightful place will not only be physically straining, but extremely dangerous as well. If I am to fall this morning....and this journal is found....please deliver my love to all my friends and family. But enough of that, we must focus on the point at hand, and be optimistic. Today will be a great day!

January 10'th, 2005. 2:45 AM
After trying several different methods, I am ecstatic to say, we succeeded in creating a better ramp, and rolling the ball of snow up it and onto the bottom of the snow man!!! Better yet, not one person was injured or killed in our attempts. After the middle piece was secured, it was easy for me to lift up the head and slap it on top. We are cementing the snowman in place, using packing snow in key joint areas to keep it from falling. We have made plans to carve and add a face, arms, and even a hat to the snowman, as well. For right now - here are the bare bones of the great creation. There has been no better snowman....ever.


January 10'th, 2005. 3:15 AM
The snowman has been greatly improved after some relatively easy carving. Also, we created a face out of a carrot for a nose, two eggs for the eyes (with black circles drawn for the pupils), and a stick for the smile. We also added two rakes as arms, and even a hat made out of an old bucket and a surprisingly large Spiderman frisbee. We have another picture documenting the snowman’s greatness.


This is what da Vinci felt like after painting the last supper. This is what Michael Angelo felt like after finally completing his work at the Sistine chapel. We will go down in history for this...

January 12'th, 2005. 6:15 PM
Whatever God may exist...has chosen to toy brutally with my mind! There has been a break in the cold which, before today, was virtually unflinching! The relentless Sun beats down, showing the snowman no mercy. Upon returning from work today, I saw his face scattered upon the ground, and his size, although still unspeakably humongous, has been substantially lowered due to melting. I took a picture as documentation.


and....his poor face....


after extensive repairs, I have the snowman looking relatively normal again.....but I worry as to how long he will last. I shouldn't think this way though....he will be fine. FINE!!!!!

January 13'th, 2005. 6:24 PM
Oh God, the unspeakable has happened.....I...I cannot believe it. I can't talk about it right now. It is simply too emotionally painful. I'll post later when I can clear my tears, and compose myself enough.

January 13'th, 2005. 6:25 PM
The snowman.....is dead. When I came home, I saw he was even more wilted than before, and his face had fallen off again. I went inside to put my things away and get the camera.....and when I came out....I.....I.......I dare not say it. Just look.


Why oh why does the untamable Sun destroy my wildest dreams with only a few days of unexpected heat. Must that fiery ball play such painful games with me? Do you think you can get away with something like this, Sun? Why don't stop your cowardly hiding millions of miles up in the sky and come face me! Oh God! *sobs*.

January 13'th, 2005. 6:29 PM
Excuse me for loosing my composure. One day.....one day Sun....I will seek my revenge. Always know that. Always. My teams life’s work has been destroyed, but we now hold a new goal....even higher, in its place. A goal motivated by revenge, and deep, passionate hatred. Destruction...*dreadful music clip plays here, the one that goes: 'Dum Dum Dummmmmm'*...of the Sun itself. And nothing.....nothing will stand in our way!

Written by Tony Scatchell. 1/14/2005
This post was created a few days ago, but then I deleted it because the pictures weren't showing up, until I could fix it. Sorry if any comments were deleted too, just repost them. The pictures should work, now.