If I had to pick an ending (Comics industry RPF)
If I had to pick an ending
Comics industry RPF, gen (background Matt Fraction/Kelly Sue DeConnick), PG, 4629, AO3.
Super big thanks to Ella for making sure everyone doesn’t sound too American. Rest of the author's note (for definitions of) on AO3.
When the dust settles - literally settles, Jamie’s hair is full of it and he hasn’t got that much hair to begin with - he and Kieron look at each other.
“Worst Comic-Con-adjacent signing ever,” says Kieron drily.
When the dust settles - literally settles, Jamie’s hair is full of it and he hasn’t got that much hair to begin with - he and Kieron look at each other.
“Worst Comic-Con-adjacent signing ever,” says Kieron drily. He takes off his glasses to wipe the lens on his dusty shirt.
“It could be worse,” says Jamie, even though it really couldn’t. “Let’s get out of here.” He climbs out from under the table they’d been hiding under and makes for the door.
In the streets of New York, people are emerging from buildings, looking all around at the rubble-filled street and hazarding glances up at the sky, waiting for the next attack. Despite the giant grey spaceships hovering several thousand miles up in the sky, there seems to be some kind of peace.
Jamie squints up at the sky. “Okay,” he says. “This looks bad.”
“You did not just say that,” says Kieron. “I’m telling Matt you said that.”
Jamie shrugs.
They stare up at the sky for a while, tempting fate. When nothing happens, they join a crowd of people down the street.
“They bombed the entire East Coast,” says a guy dressed like Ultron. “It was on TV before they cut media transmissions.”
Jamie and Kieron pull out their phones. No service.
“Guess we’re stuck here,” says a woman in a BioShock Infinite shirt. “There’s a bar on the next block if anyone wants to join me? I’ll buy the first round.”
Kieron looks at Jamie. Jamie shakes his head. The crowd moves away, towards the bar.
“Everyone is taking this remarkably well,” Kieron observes as the crowd rounds the corner leisurely and disappear.
“I’m kind of panicking,” says Jamie. “But I thought I should keep up a brave face.”
“Good man,” says Kieron. He looks up at the sky again. “Want to see if we can get home?”
“Yes please,” says Jamie.
The streets are cracked and torn apart, but the subways are still going, so they hop the turnstiles and make their way towards what they hope is JFK. Fifteen minutes into their ride, a black guy asks them where they’re going, conversationally, like they all didn’t just almost die. He’s got an open cut above his right eyebrow and blood is trickling down his cheek.
“The airport,” says Kieron. He hands the man a tissue.
“Oh man,” says the guy, dabbing at his forehead. “Oh man, I’m so fucking sorry. They bombed the airport. No one’s getting in or out.” He looks upset on their behalf but that could just be the blood.
“Damn,” says Kieron. Jamie frowns.
“Heard there’s some people leaving the city by car though,” says the guy. “Maybe you could get a ride with one of them, see if the Midwestern airports aren’t bombed like the rest of the coast.”
“Not a bad idea,” says Kieron.
“So where are you headed?” Jamie asks.
“Gonna see my boyfriend,” says the guy. “I never told him I love him. Nothing like aliens bombing a city to make you realize what’s important, you know?”
“Yeah,” says Jamie.
“Like straight out of a comic book or something right? Love at the end of the world, aliens and all. Except I’m bisexual. I don’t think there are any comics about bisexuals falling in love at the end of the world.”
Kieron opens his mouth to speak. Jamie kicks him in the shin. If this guy is going to see his beloved after being attacked by aliens, they’re not going to spend it reading Young Avengers. Kieron smiles, but looks kind of pained. The guy doesn’t notice. He’s too busy smiling down at them. Love at the end of the world.
They get off at the next stop and climb the stairs to the street. “I had Style > Substance in my bag,” Kieron whines.
“Let it go,” Jamie advises him.
They have to do a fair bit of walking to find the part of the city that still has functioning streets. They expected the streets to be packed with cars, everyone trying to get out, but it’s weirdly calm. Fire trucks and ambulances roar past every once in a while, but for the most part, it’s just cars going normal speeds looking for all the world like they’re doing normal things.
It takes a while, but they finally catch a ride with a family of three who are headed out of the city. The wife has family in Ohio and they’re going where it might be safer. The husband says he can take them to the nearest car rental place. Kieron spends the entire car ride playing peekaboo with the baby.
There’s no one at the rental place. But whoever was working left the door unlocked and by the look of the car park, Jamie and Kieron aren’t the first people to steal a car. They pick a key out of a cubby at random and hope it’s a car with good mileage.
It’s an SUV, but that’s okay. It’s got a full tank and it’s not like the aliens have been bombing petrol stations, or so they hope. Kieron grabs a map of the United States off a rack of maps. They spread the map out across the hood of the car. It’s warm out and less dusty now that they’re farther away from the city.
“Major airports,” says Kieron. “Uh. Miami?”
“That’s still on the East Coast,” says Jamie. “Chicago? Or Dallas? Those would be big enough to have planes flying home.”
They stare at the map, at the highways that cross the country and the ill-defined topography.
“I would kill for a GPS,” says Kieron. “And an American chauffeur.”
“Chicago then,” says Jamie.
They hit the road.
It’s a quiet 800 miles, broken up only by buying petrol and snacks in deserted petrol stations and stretching in strange little rest stops. Once they properly get away from New York, the highways are almost empty. It’s like everyone decided there was nothing to do but wait for the end and they might as well stay home.
Jamie starts counting cars, marking down each one in his notebook.
“You know, I always thought a roadtrip in America would be fun,” says Kieron thoughtfully, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. There’s no music; the radio stations are all static. They’d had a patriotic sing-along to half of Definitely Maybe before Jamie realized he should save his mobile’s battery, but that was two hours ago.
“Too bad we can’t stop and see anything,” Jamie says. He marks off another car, the first one he’s seen in forty-five minutes.
“I mean,” says Kieron. “We could.” He doesn’t look particularly excited by the idea.
Jamie nods. “I just want to go home.”
They don’t get to Chicago until late in the evening. There’s nothing to do but find an empty car park and sleep in the car, so that’s what they do, spread out on the back two benches. It’s not comfortable and it’s kind of cold, but it’s not too bad. At least they’re not outside.
Explosions shake them awake. They climb out of the car, perhaps foolishly, and stand with their hands against their brows, looking up at the bright morning sky. The spaceships are zipping around the sky, but they’re concentrating their firing on a specific part of the city.
“£50 says that’s the airport,” says Kieron. Jamie groans.
They drive into the city anyway, to see what the damage is. Just like New York, the roads are wrecked, but the buildings are mostly still standing and the people look okay. Jamie and Kieron wonder what the spaceships are even trying to do if they’re not killing people.
“Something’s not right,” says Kieron.
“It doesn’t go like this in fiction,” Jamie agrees.
They stop at a library, because they’re at loss as to what else to do. It looks like it was used as a shelter during the attack; people are slowly making their way out of the building, looking shaken but unhurt. Kieron and Jamie slip through the crowd. A group of librarians are talking behind a check-out desk, but they break up when they see Kieron and Jamie walk in. It’s kind of embarrassing that Kieron and Jamie stand out so much that a librarian rushes over to help them.
“Can I help you?” asks a young Asian-American woman with a bright smile and bright pink hair.
“We’re looking for the airport,” says Jamie. “Is it-”
“Bombed,” she says. “Before they cut media transmissions, the radio said they targeted Midway and O’Hare.” She looks sort of apologetic, like it’s her fault aliens appear to be systematically taking out every form of transportation in the United States.
“Is anyone hurt?” Kieron asks.
“They evacuated the airports yesterday after the East Coast attack,” she says. “But I have no way of knowing for real, sorry. Everyone here is mostly fine.” She bites her lip. “Don’t know about the rest of the city though. Were you trying to get somewhere?”
“Home,” says Kieron. “We came from New York but we’re looking for an airport to take us home.”
“I’m sorry,” she says again. “I’m so, so sorry.”
They must look upset because she smiles and says, “can I get you a cup of tea? That’s what you all drink in Britain, right?”
Kieron looks at Jamie. Jamie looks at Kieron. “All right,” they say. They’ve got nowhere else to go at the moment.
“I’ll be right back,” she says and hurries off.
Kieron looks around the library. It’s mostly cleared out now, but there are a few families with children huddled in corners and some elderly people sitting at tables, talking quietly. There’s a guy sleeping in a stuffed chair in a corner near the door.
“Whoa,” says Kieron. He elbows Jamie. “Look.”
Jamie does. “No way,” he says.
They walk over to the sleeping guy. Kieron slaps him slightly on the cheek. “Zdarsky. Chip. Steve! Wake up!”
Chip wakes up flailing all his limbs and nearly taking out Jamie. “What the-holy shit.”
“What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here? I was promoting Sex Criminals at Graham Crackers and the manager dropped me off here. Aren’t you two supposed to be at New York Comic Con?”
“We were but spaceships attacked,” Jamie explains.
“Story of my life,” says Chip, yawning. “How’d you end up here though?”
The librarian comes up with two cups of tea and hands them to Jamie and Kieron.
“We were looking for an airport,” says Kieron. He turns to the librarian. “Thank you so much for the tea.”
She nods and smiles. “It just occured to me that you might try Los Angeles or San Francisco for airports. Last we heard, they hadn’t targeted the West Coast yet.”
Kieron looks at Jamie. Jamie squinches his nose but really, there’s no other option.
“To California!” says Chip loudly. He stands up and stretches. “I need to get home too.”
“Okay,” says Jamie. He looks at the librarian. “Do you have maps?”
She looks like she’s trying not to laugh at him for asking such a stupid question in a library. “We have an entire section. Let me show you.”
They trail after her through the stacks. She pulls two atlases off the shelf. “California highways and state highways,” she says, handing a book each to Jamie and Kieron. “This should take care of you.”
A baby cries in one of the corners. She pats the books and says, “Let me know if you need photocopies,” before leaving them.
The three of them set the atlases down on an empty table and flip through the pages. It looks like a straight shot to San Francisco across several states and a mountain range.
“How long do you think it’ll take?” Jamie asks.
“If we don’t sleep, maybe a day?” says Chip. “I would kill for Google Maps right now.”
“Maybe a day and half,” muses Kieron. “Two days at most.”
“If we don’t sleep,” says Jamie. “And the roads are pretty empty right now. No traffic.” He looks at them. “Well?”
“Let’s do it,” says Chip. “Since there really is nothing else to do.”
Jamie and Kieron drink their tea while Chip makes photocopies with the pink-haired librarian. Despite the world probably ending, they agree that they feel calm. But maybe that’s how people backed into a corner by giant spaceships and no way home are supposed feel. They wouldn’t know. They’ve never been in this situation before.
Chip comes back with a strangely pleased expression. “She says if we sign their Captain Underpants poster, she’ll give us photocopies for free.”
Kieron laughs into his cup. Jamie nearly drops his. “She knows us?”
“She said she would have you sign WicDiv trades but they’re all checked out.” Chip grins. “She also said Sex Criminals got banned from this branch.”
Jamie high-fives him. They go back to the group of librarians who are waiting with sharpies.
The drive through Iowa goes smoothly. The radio is still out, so they spend three hours talking about a full-on crossover with WicDiv and Sex Criminals. They come to the conclusion that Image probably wouldn’t go for it, as it would probably be one thousand different kinds of illegal. Still.
“When we get out of this,” says Chip, “Jamie, I’ll illustrate an issue of yours and you illustrate an issue of mine.”
Jamie and Kieron are silent. “Is that really the way you want to phrase that question?” Jamie finally asks.
“That is exactly how I want to phrase that question, Jamie.”
“Don’t send me any dick pics,” says Jamie. “Otherwise, yes.” He puts his feet on the dashboard and opens his sketchbook against his knees. Chip peers over his shoulder. “Nice portrait of Kieron driving.”
“Hey, thanks.”
“I bet I could sneak ‘brimping’ into our next issue,” says Kieron thoughtfully.
“I bet Image would fire you if you did,” says Jamie. “And then where would we be?”
“Self-publishing?” says Kieron.
“Your reluctance to work with anyone but each other is kind of cute and kind of alarming,” says Chip. He sits back. “Serious question: if you had to kill Steve Rogers, would you do it?”
“As a creative professional or in real life?”
Inane bullshit conversations carry them through another three hours and almost distract them from the fact that they’re driving farther away from home. Around hour seven, they rotate seats and Jamie drives while Chip and Kieron play hangman. Chip loses every single round.
Two thirds of the way through Nebraska, a state none of them have ever heard of, their mobiles go off. Mobile service is back and they all have to turn the sound off on their phones while text messages and missed calls catch up with them. Chip alone has over two hundred texts.
“Wow,” says Kieron, scrolling through his texts. “Matt live-tweeted the telecast from the aliens that apparently went out worldwide two hours ago.”
“Guess that means the West Coast hasn’t been attacked yet,” says Jamie, sounding hopeful.
“They gave us 48 hours to...gather our forces and prepare to fight back?” says Kieron. “It’s a little hard to tell. Matt keeps making War of the Worlds jokes.”
“Yeah, I think that’s it,” says Chip, squinting at his phone. “48 hours before they attack on the ground.”
“Read my texts,” says Jamie. Kieron picks up Jamie’s phone, types in Jamie’s password, and starts looking through Jamie’s text messages.
“It’s weird that we all mobile notifications turned on for Matt’s twitter,” says Kieron conversationally. “Let’s see. Same tweet, same tweet, same tweet, oh, actual text from Matt. If you aren’t dead, you’re invited to me and Kelly Sue’s end of the world party. Why didn’t I get an invite?” He picks up his own phone and starts scrolling again. “Nevermind, I did. You’re invited to me and Kelly Sue’s end of the world party. Bring Jamie’s body.”
“Why am I the dead one?” Jamie asks.
“Probably because you’re an artist.” Kieron picks up Jamie’s phone again and starts reading his texts.
“I’m an artist and I’m not dead,” says Chip. “I just got Steve, stop ignoring me and get your ass to Portland.”
Jamie pulls over to the side of the road and turns off the ignition. It would have been dramatic, had he not used the turn signal and had they seen any cars in the past four hours. “Okay,” he says, turning to Kieron and Chip. “We’re probably going to die in 48 hours. Do we still want to find an airport in California? Or do we want to see Matt and Kelly Sue?”
They are quiet for a few minutes, thinking this over.
“An end of the world party does sound like something we shouldn’t miss,” says Kieron eventually.
“Let’s be real,” says Chip. “We’re not getting home anyway.”
They are quiet for a few more minutes.
“I guess if I have to die, I’d rather die with people I know,” says Jamie.
“Yeah,” says Kieron.
“To Portland!” says Chip.
“Great,” says Jamie. He turns the car back on and pulls onto the highway. “How do we get to Portland?”
They find another public library in Cheyenne, Wyoming, which is another state none of them had heard of until now. The library is open, despite it being early evening and near the end of the world. The librarian is, if possible, even more gracious than the one in Chicago though he’s much older, white, has gray hair, and definitely doesn’t recognize them.
He leads them to the atlases and says, “Take what you want. Figure this library won’t be standin’ in a couple days anyways.”
They take a couple country atlases. This library is smaller than the one in Chicago and there’s no Oregon-specific atlas, but with some cross-referencing, they put together that they can get to Portland without too much trouble.
They offer to pay the librarian for the books, but he waves them off. “You need it more than me,” he says. “Pretty brave of you, crossing the country at a time like this.”
“We’re going to a party,” says Jamie.
“One hell of a trip for a party,” says the librarian.
Jamie and Kieron smile. Chip says, “It’s a very special party.”
“Good luck,” says the librarian. “And be careful crossing the mountains at night. Make sure you don’t run out of gas.”
“Thank you,” says Jamie.
They head out. It’s Chip’s turn to drive. They attempt more inane bullshit, but they’re increasingly drawn to their phones. No 4G and no word from London or Toronto. International mobile connections must still be out.
“Did anyone text Matt?” Chip asks suddenly, three hours after they’ve given up trying to talk to each other without pretending they’re not worried about the impending alien attack or their loved ones at home.
“No.”
“I can.”
“Don’t,” says Chip. “Let’s just show up. How funny will that be?”
“Kind of cruel if he thinks we’re dead,” says Kieron.
“That’ll make it even funnier.”
Jamie leans forward and rests an elbow on the shoulder of Kieron’s seat. “Should we bring snacks?” he asks seriously.
“That would be the polite thing to do,” says Kieron.
At the next petrol station, they load up on American candy and some state-specific trinkets and coloring books for the kids. The attendant is drunk and talking to his parents on speakerphone. He gives them the toys for free but makes them take an entire box of Starburst packets and charges them for it.
“Got some foreigners, mama,” he slurs, shoving their candy into a bag. “Didn’t think I’d ever see foreigners again. Where ya goin’, foreigners?”
“Oregon,” says Chip.
“They’re goin’ to Oregon, mama.”
“Oregon’s nice,” says the tinny voice of the attendant’s mother through the speaker. “I liked Oregon. Saw Romeo & Juliet there, once.”
“Enjoy Oregon,” says the attendant, handing them their bags.
Jamie picks up driving next. When it gets late Chip wants to sleep and crashes out in the back bench, which leaves Jamie and Kieron to talk quietly in front. They’re tired, but they’re not stopping for anything but petrol, candy, and coloring books at this point.
“Truth or dare?” asks Kieron, stifling a yawn with his fist.
“We’re grown men,” says Jamie.
“Truth or dare?” Kieron insists.
“Truth.”
“Do you have any regrets?”
“Yes,” says Jamie.
“Like what?”
“I kind of wish we were doing a real roadtrip. You and me, I mean. Chip could come too, but...” Jamie is concentrating very hard on the road ahead. They’re getting into the mountains and the roads are starting to curve.
“Maybe next time,” says Kieron.
“Truth or dare?” Jamie asks.
“Dare,” says Kieron.
“When we see Matt, you have to kiss him on the mouth.”
“I’m not doing that,” says Kieron. “Kelly Sue might kill me.”
“Don’t be dramatic. Kelly Sue would take pictures. That’s what you have to do! Kiss him on the mouth long enough for us to take pictures.”
“Fine,” sighs Kieron. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Biggest superhero crush?”
“Dick Grayson. He’s got those muscles, you know.”
“And that butt.”
“Exactly. Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“If you had to foster parent a teenage superhero, who would you choose?”
Truth or Dare carries them most of through Wyoming. Kieron picks up driving just in time for the nasty bits of Idaho and they’re part of the way into Oregon with the sun in the sky when Chip wakes up and yells at them for letting him sleep so long when the two of them haven’t slept since Chicago. He drives the rest of the way to the DeFraction’s while they sleep in back and wakes them only when they get to Portland mid-afternoon. He pulls up in front of the house, or, more accurately, they pull up down the street packed with cars, somewhere near the house.
“They weren’t joking about the party, were they?” says Kieron, marveling.
“I hope we’re only fashionably late,” says Chip.
They gather up all the candy and toys - “We’re kind of like a pre-apocalyptic trio of Santa Clauses, aren’t we?” remarks Chip - and climb out of the car. It’s warm out and easy to pretend that the shadows on the ground are from clouds, not spaceships.
The street has the makings of a block party, with people gathering outside their houses and kids playing in driveways and yards. Two women are even dragging a barbecue into their front yard. Jamie, Kieron, and Chip smile at them as they walk past and the women wave back.
“All right men,” says Chip when they’re in front of Matt and Kelly Sue’s house. “We either get our asses kicked or are welcomed like lost travelers.”
“My money’s on arse-kicking,” says Kieron.
“Me too.”
“Come on, they’ll be glad to see us.” Chip rings the doorbell. They can hear how noisy it is inside, but hopefully someone hears the bell.
Someone does hear the bell. Kelly Sue hears the bell and when she opens the door she says, “Oh my god,” and then yells, “We thought you were dead!” She hugs Kieron and Jamie at the same time and punches Chip in the arm when she’s done.
“Good to see you too,” says Chip, rubbing his arm.
“Matt!” she calls down the hall. “Look who finally showed up!”
Matt comes to the front door and says, “well, shit.”
Kieron surges forward and kisses him. Jamie pulls out his phone and takes a picture. Kieron releases Matt and steps away.
“No wait,” says Kelly Sue, laughing and pulling out her phone as well, “I want a picture too.”
“Told you,” says Jamie. Kieron glares at him, but kisses Matt again.
“Twitter is gonna love this,” says Kelly Sue. She’s still grinning.
“Wow Kieron, I never knew you felt that way,” says Matt, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Jamie and I were playing Truth or Dare on the ride over,” Kieron says.
Chip makes a noise of outrage behind them. “You bastards played without me?”
Then they are forced to explain their great American roadtrip to Matt and Kelly Sue, about the games they played, the crossovers they dreamed up, the people they met, the candy and toys they bought, how far they came.
“Happy Halloween,” says Jamie, holding up his bag. “An end of the word party wouldn’t be complete without presents, right?”
“You’re so sweet,” says Kelly Sue. “Come in. Have some coffee, you must be exhausted.”
Half the comics creators and their families that are based in Portland are crammed into the house. There are multiple kids running around and they really do get to play the part of pre-apocalyptic Santa Clauses, handing out candy and toys. They drift away from each other to talk to other people for awhile, eager to find out what has happened while they’ve been driving. The aliens truly did deliver an ultimatum via every form of media transmission and they truly are in all probability going to die in the next two days. Everyone is very calm about it.
The party eventually reaches critical mass and Kelly Sue and Matt force everyone outside. It has really turned into a block party outside - multiple barbecues have been brought into front yards, music is blaring out the windows of every other house, and it seems that the inhabitants of entire block and the surrounding area have gathered on the street to talk to each other. Some people are staring up at the sky and gesturing in a way that cannot be interpreted as anything other than deep contempt for the aliens, but still the mood is light.
Jamie finds Kieron standing in someone’s front yard talking to the women who waved to them earlier. Jamie joins them; they are talking about art, of course. Eventually the women turn away to tend to their barbecue leaving Kieron and Jamie alone together.
“The end of the world is rather pleasant,” says Kieron.
“This is not how I thought I would spend my last hours on Earth, but it’s not bad,” Jamie agrees.
They watch Chip draw a illustrate a giant spaceship in the middle of the street with sidewalk chalk and the help of some very young children.
“I wish we could call home though,” says Kieron. “Hear everyone’s voices one last time.”
“Yeah.”
Matt and Kelly Sue enter the chalk situation, Matt carrying Tallulah on his hip. They look critically down at the spaceship and offer suggestions that Chip waves off. The young children draw all over his spaceship while he’s arguing about his color scheme with Kelly Sue.
“I’m glad I’m with you,” says Jamie suddenly. “I don’t think I’d have made it across the country alone.”
“I’d probably be drunk in New York without you with me,” says Kieron. “Being here with you is much better.”
A cloud passes across the sun. It’s dark briefly and then brighter than ever.
“We could have made a great comic out of this, you know,” says Kieron.
They stand for some minutes, watching their friends play with sidewalk chalk.
“You know,” says Jamie, turning to Kieron, “We still could make that comic. It’s not like we don’t have the materials.”
“A comic about the end of the world at the end of the world?”
“I’d rather go out doing what I love with the people that I love than standing around waiting for the end.”
Kieron claps a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s do it.”
Together they kneel down on the ground and steal Chip’s chalk, who does not notice as he is playing hangman with a ten year old. He’s losing.
“Okay,” dictates Kieron. “It begins with two men climbing out of a pile of rubble in New York City…”
Comics industry RPF, gen (background Matt Fraction/Kelly Sue DeConnick), PG, 4629, AO3.
Super big thanks to Ella for making sure everyone doesn’t sound too American. Rest of the author's note (for definitions of) on AO3.
When the dust settles - literally settles, Jamie’s hair is full of it and he hasn’t got that much hair to begin with - he and Kieron look at each other.
“Worst Comic-Con-adjacent signing ever,” says Kieron drily.
When the dust settles - literally settles, Jamie’s hair is full of it and he hasn’t got that much hair to begin with - he and Kieron look at each other.
“Worst Comic-Con-adjacent signing ever,” says Kieron drily. He takes off his glasses to wipe the lens on his dusty shirt.
“It could be worse,” says Jamie, even though it really couldn’t. “Let’s get out of here.” He climbs out from under the table they’d been hiding under and makes for the door.
In the streets of New York, people are emerging from buildings, looking all around at the rubble-filled street and hazarding glances up at the sky, waiting for the next attack. Despite the giant grey spaceships hovering several thousand miles up in the sky, there seems to be some kind of peace.
Jamie squints up at the sky. “Okay,” he says. “This looks bad.”
“You did not just say that,” says Kieron. “I’m telling Matt you said that.”
Jamie shrugs.
They stare up at the sky for a while, tempting fate. When nothing happens, they join a crowd of people down the street.
“They bombed the entire East Coast,” says a guy dressed like Ultron. “It was on TV before they cut media transmissions.”
Jamie and Kieron pull out their phones. No service.
“Guess we’re stuck here,” says a woman in a BioShock Infinite shirt. “There’s a bar on the next block if anyone wants to join me? I’ll buy the first round.”
Kieron looks at Jamie. Jamie shakes his head. The crowd moves away, towards the bar.
“Everyone is taking this remarkably well,” Kieron observes as the crowd rounds the corner leisurely and disappear.
“I’m kind of panicking,” says Jamie. “But I thought I should keep up a brave face.”
“Good man,” says Kieron. He looks up at the sky again. “Want to see if we can get home?”
“Yes please,” says Jamie.
The streets are cracked and torn apart, but the subways are still going, so they hop the turnstiles and make their way towards what they hope is JFK. Fifteen minutes into their ride, a black guy asks them where they’re going, conversationally, like they all didn’t just almost die. He’s got an open cut above his right eyebrow and blood is trickling down his cheek.
“The airport,” says Kieron. He hands the man a tissue.
“Oh man,” says the guy, dabbing at his forehead. “Oh man, I’m so fucking sorry. They bombed the airport. No one’s getting in or out.” He looks upset on their behalf but that could just be the blood.
“Damn,” says Kieron. Jamie frowns.
“Heard there’s some people leaving the city by car though,” says the guy. “Maybe you could get a ride with one of them, see if the Midwestern airports aren’t bombed like the rest of the coast.”
“Not a bad idea,” says Kieron.
“So where are you headed?” Jamie asks.
“Gonna see my boyfriend,” says the guy. “I never told him I love him. Nothing like aliens bombing a city to make you realize what’s important, you know?”
“Yeah,” says Jamie.
“Like straight out of a comic book or something right? Love at the end of the world, aliens and all. Except I’m bisexual. I don’t think there are any comics about bisexuals falling in love at the end of the world.”
Kieron opens his mouth to speak. Jamie kicks him in the shin. If this guy is going to see his beloved after being attacked by aliens, they’re not going to spend it reading Young Avengers. Kieron smiles, but looks kind of pained. The guy doesn’t notice. He’s too busy smiling down at them. Love at the end of the world.
They get off at the next stop and climb the stairs to the street. “I had Style > Substance in my bag,” Kieron whines.
“Let it go,” Jamie advises him.
They have to do a fair bit of walking to find the part of the city that still has functioning streets. They expected the streets to be packed with cars, everyone trying to get out, but it’s weirdly calm. Fire trucks and ambulances roar past every once in a while, but for the most part, it’s just cars going normal speeds looking for all the world like they’re doing normal things.
It takes a while, but they finally catch a ride with a family of three who are headed out of the city. The wife has family in Ohio and they’re going where it might be safer. The husband says he can take them to the nearest car rental place. Kieron spends the entire car ride playing peekaboo with the baby.
There’s no one at the rental place. But whoever was working left the door unlocked and by the look of the car park, Jamie and Kieron aren’t the first people to steal a car. They pick a key out of a cubby at random and hope it’s a car with good mileage.
It’s an SUV, but that’s okay. It’s got a full tank and it’s not like the aliens have been bombing petrol stations, or so they hope. Kieron grabs a map of the United States off a rack of maps. They spread the map out across the hood of the car. It’s warm out and less dusty now that they’re farther away from the city.
“Major airports,” says Kieron. “Uh. Miami?”
“That’s still on the East Coast,” says Jamie. “Chicago? Or Dallas? Those would be big enough to have planes flying home.”
They stare at the map, at the highways that cross the country and the ill-defined topography.
“I would kill for a GPS,” says Kieron. “And an American chauffeur.”
“Chicago then,” says Jamie.
They hit the road.
It’s a quiet 800 miles, broken up only by buying petrol and snacks in deserted petrol stations and stretching in strange little rest stops. Once they properly get away from New York, the highways are almost empty. It’s like everyone decided there was nothing to do but wait for the end and they might as well stay home.
Jamie starts counting cars, marking down each one in his notebook.
“You know, I always thought a roadtrip in America would be fun,” says Kieron thoughtfully, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. There’s no music; the radio stations are all static. They’d had a patriotic sing-along to half of Definitely Maybe before Jamie realized he should save his mobile’s battery, but that was two hours ago.
“Too bad we can’t stop and see anything,” Jamie says. He marks off another car, the first one he’s seen in forty-five minutes.
“I mean,” says Kieron. “We could.” He doesn’t look particularly excited by the idea.
Jamie nods. “I just want to go home.”
They don’t get to Chicago until late in the evening. There’s nothing to do but find an empty car park and sleep in the car, so that’s what they do, spread out on the back two benches. It’s not comfortable and it’s kind of cold, but it’s not too bad. At least they’re not outside.
Explosions shake them awake. They climb out of the car, perhaps foolishly, and stand with their hands against their brows, looking up at the bright morning sky. The spaceships are zipping around the sky, but they’re concentrating their firing on a specific part of the city.
“£50 says that’s the airport,” says Kieron. Jamie groans.
They drive into the city anyway, to see what the damage is. Just like New York, the roads are wrecked, but the buildings are mostly still standing and the people look okay. Jamie and Kieron wonder what the spaceships are even trying to do if they’re not killing people.
“Something’s not right,” says Kieron.
“It doesn’t go like this in fiction,” Jamie agrees.
They stop at a library, because they’re at loss as to what else to do. It looks like it was used as a shelter during the attack; people are slowly making their way out of the building, looking shaken but unhurt. Kieron and Jamie slip through the crowd. A group of librarians are talking behind a check-out desk, but they break up when they see Kieron and Jamie walk in. It’s kind of embarrassing that Kieron and Jamie stand out so much that a librarian rushes over to help them.
“Can I help you?” asks a young Asian-American woman with a bright smile and bright pink hair.
“We’re looking for the airport,” says Jamie. “Is it-”
“Bombed,” she says. “Before they cut media transmissions, the radio said they targeted Midway and O’Hare.” She looks sort of apologetic, like it’s her fault aliens appear to be systematically taking out every form of transportation in the United States.
“Is anyone hurt?” Kieron asks.
“They evacuated the airports yesterday after the East Coast attack,” she says. “But I have no way of knowing for real, sorry. Everyone here is mostly fine.” She bites her lip. “Don’t know about the rest of the city though. Were you trying to get somewhere?”
“Home,” says Kieron. “We came from New York but we’re looking for an airport to take us home.”
“I’m sorry,” she says again. “I’m so, so sorry.”
They must look upset because she smiles and says, “can I get you a cup of tea? That’s what you all drink in Britain, right?”
Kieron looks at Jamie. Jamie looks at Kieron. “All right,” they say. They’ve got nowhere else to go at the moment.
“I’ll be right back,” she says and hurries off.
Kieron looks around the library. It’s mostly cleared out now, but there are a few families with children huddled in corners and some elderly people sitting at tables, talking quietly. There’s a guy sleeping in a stuffed chair in a corner near the door.
“Whoa,” says Kieron. He elbows Jamie. “Look.”
Jamie does. “No way,” he says.
They walk over to the sleeping guy. Kieron slaps him slightly on the cheek. “Zdarsky. Chip. Steve! Wake up!”
Chip wakes up flailing all his limbs and nearly taking out Jamie. “What the-holy shit.”
“What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here? I was promoting Sex Criminals at Graham Crackers and the manager dropped me off here. Aren’t you two supposed to be at New York Comic Con?”
“We were but spaceships attacked,” Jamie explains.
“Story of my life,” says Chip, yawning. “How’d you end up here though?”
The librarian comes up with two cups of tea and hands them to Jamie and Kieron.
“We were looking for an airport,” says Kieron. He turns to the librarian. “Thank you so much for the tea.”
She nods and smiles. “It just occured to me that you might try Los Angeles or San Francisco for airports. Last we heard, they hadn’t targeted the West Coast yet.”
Kieron looks at Jamie. Jamie squinches his nose but really, there’s no other option.
“To California!” says Chip loudly. He stands up and stretches. “I need to get home too.”
“Okay,” says Jamie. He looks at the librarian. “Do you have maps?”
She looks like she’s trying not to laugh at him for asking such a stupid question in a library. “We have an entire section. Let me show you.”
They trail after her through the stacks. She pulls two atlases off the shelf. “California highways and state highways,” she says, handing a book each to Jamie and Kieron. “This should take care of you.”
A baby cries in one of the corners. She pats the books and says, “Let me know if you need photocopies,” before leaving them.
The three of them set the atlases down on an empty table and flip through the pages. It looks like a straight shot to San Francisco across several states and a mountain range.
“How long do you think it’ll take?” Jamie asks.
“If we don’t sleep, maybe a day?” says Chip. “I would kill for Google Maps right now.”
“Maybe a day and half,” muses Kieron. “Two days at most.”
“If we don’t sleep,” says Jamie. “And the roads are pretty empty right now. No traffic.” He looks at them. “Well?”
“Let’s do it,” says Chip. “Since there really is nothing else to do.”
Jamie and Kieron drink their tea while Chip makes photocopies with the pink-haired librarian. Despite the world probably ending, they agree that they feel calm. But maybe that’s how people backed into a corner by giant spaceships and no way home are supposed feel. They wouldn’t know. They’ve never been in this situation before.
Chip comes back with a strangely pleased expression. “She says if we sign their Captain Underpants poster, she’ll give us photocopies for free.”
Kieron laughs into his cup. Jamie nearly drops his. “She knows us?”
“She said she would have you sign WicDiv trades but they’re all checked out.” Chip grins. “She also said Sex Criminals got banned from this branch.”
Jamie high-fives him. They go back to the group of librarians who are waiting with sharpies.
The drive through Iowa goes smoothly. The radio is still out, so they spend three hours talking about a full-on crossover with WicDiv and Sex Criminals. They come to the conclusion that Image probably wouldn’t go for it, as it would probably be one thousand different kinds of illegal. Still.
“When we get out of this,” says Chip, “Jamie, I’ll illustrate an issue of yours and you illustrate an issue of mine.”
Jamie and Kieron are silent. “Is that really the way you want to phrase that question?” Jamie finally asks.
“That is exactly how I want to phrase that question, Jamie.”
“Don’t send me any dick pics,” says Jamie. “Otherwise, yes.” He puts his feet on the dashboard and opens his sketchbook against his knees. Chip peers over his shoulder. “Nice portrait of Kieron driving.”
“Hey, thanks.”
“I bet I could sneak ‘brimping’ into our next issue,” says Kieron thoughtfully.
“I bet Image would fire you if you did,” says Jamie. “And then where would we be?”
“Self-publishing?” says Kieron.
“Your reluctance to work with anyone but each other is kind of cute and kind of alarming,” says Chip. He sits back. “Serious question: if you had to kill Steve Rogers, would you do it?”
“As a creative professional or in real life?”
Inane bullshit conversations carry them through another three hours and almost distract them from the fact that they’re driving farther away from home. Around hour seven, they rotate seats and Jamie drives while Chip and Kieron play hangman. Chip loses every single round.
Two thirds of the way through Nebraska, a state none of them have ever heard of, their mobiles go off. Mobile service is back and they all have to turn the sound off on their phones while text messages and missed calls catch up with them. Chip alone has over two hundred texts.
“Wow,” says Kieron, scrolling through his texts. “Matt live-tweeted the telecast from the aliens that apparently went out worldwide two hours ago.”
“Guess that means the West Coast hasn’t been attacked yet,” says Jamie, sounding hopeful.
“They gave us 48 hours to...gather our forces and prepare to fight back?” says Kieron. “It’s a little hard to tell. Matt keeps making War of the Worlds jokes.”
“Yeah, I think that’s it,” says Chip, squinting at his phone. “48 hours before they attack on the ground.”
“Read my texts,” says Jamie. Kieron picks up Jamie’s phone, types in Jamie’s password, and starts looking through Jamie’s text messages.
“It’s weird that we all mobile notifications turned on for Matt’s twitter,” says Kieron conversationally. “Let’s see. Same tweet, same tweet, same tweet, oh, actual text from Matt. If you aren’t dead, you’re invited to me and Kelly Sue’s end of the world party. Why didn’t I get an invite?” He picks up his own phone and starts scrolling again. “Nevermind, I did. You’re invited to me and Kelly Sue’s end of the world party. Bring Jamie’s body.”
“Why am I the dead one?” Jamie asks.
“Probably because you’re an artist.” Kieron picks up Jamie’s phone again and starts reading his texts.
“I’m an artist and I’m not dead,” says Chip. “I just got Steve, stop ignoring me and get your ass to Portland.”
Jamie pulls over to the side of the road and turns off the ignition. It would have been dramatic, had he not used the turn signal and had they seen any cars in the past four hours. “Okay,” he says, turning to Kieron and Chip. “We’re probably going to die in 48 hours. Do we still want to find an airport in California? Or do we want to see Matt and Kelly Sue?”
They are quiet for a few minutes, thinking this over.
“An end of the world party does sound like something we shouldn’t miss,” says Kieron eventually.
“Let’s be real,” says Chip. “We’re not getting home anyway.”
They are quiet for a few more minutes.
“I guess if I have to die, I’d rather die with people I know,” says Jamie.
“Yeah,” says Kieron.
“To Portland!” says Chip.
“Great,” says Jamie. He turns the car back on and pulls onto the highway. “How do we get to Portland?”
They find another public library in Cheyenne, Wyoming, which is another state none of them had heard of until now. The library is open, despite it being early evening and near the end of the world. The librarian is, if possible, even more gracious than the one in Chicago though he’s much older, white, has gray hair, and definitely doesn’t recognize them.
He leads them to the atlases and says, “Take what you want. Figure this library won’t be standin’ in a couple days anyways.”
They take a couple country atlases. This library is smaller than the one in Chicago and there’s no Oregon-specific atlas, but with some cross-referencing, they put together that they can get to Portland without too much trouble.
They offer to pay the librarian for the books, but he waves them off. “You need it more than me,” he says. “Pretty brave of you, crossing the country at a time like this.”
“We’re going to a party,” says Jamie.
“One hell of a trip for a party,” says the librarian.
Jamie and Kieron smile. Chip says, “It’s a very special party.”
“Good luck,” says the librarian. “And be careful crossing the mountains at night. Make sure you don’t run out of gas.”
“Thank you,” says Jamie.
They head out. It’s Chip’s turn to drive. They attempt more inane bullshit, but they’re increasingly drawn to their phones. No 4G and no word from London or Toronto. International mobile connections must still be out.
“Did anyone text Matt?” Chip asks suddenly, three hours after they’ve given up trying to talk to each other without pretending they’re not worried about the impending alien attack or their loved ones at home.
“No.”
“I can.”
“Don’t,” says Chip. “Let’s just show up. How funny will that be?”
“Kind of cruel if he thinks we’re dead,” says Kieron.
“That’ll make it even funnier.”
Jamie leans forward and rests an elbow on the shoulder of Kieron’s seat. “Should we bring snacks?” he asks seriously.
“That would be the polite thing to do,” says Kieron.
At the next petrol station, they load up on American candy and some state-specific trinkets and coloring books for the kids. The attendant is drunk and talking to his parents on speakerphone. He gives them the toys for free but makes them take an entire box of Starburst packets and charges them for it.
“Got some foreigners, mama,” he slurs, shoving their candy into a bag. “Didn’t think I’d ever see foreigners again. Where ya goin’, foreigners?”
“Oregon,” says Chip.
“They’re goin’ to Oregon, mama.”
“Oregon’s nice,” says the tinny voice of the attendant’s mother through the speaker. “I liked Oregon. Saw Romeo & Juliet there, once.”
“Enjoy Oregon,” says the attendant, handing them their bags.
Jamie picks up driving next. When it gets late Chip wants to sleep and crashes out in the back bench, which leaves Jamie and Kieron to talk quietly in front. They’re tired, but they’re not stopping for anything but petrol, candy, and coloring books at this point.
“Truth or dare?” asks Kieron, stifling a yawn with his fist.
“We’re grown men,” says Jamie.
“Truth or dare?” Kieron insists.
“Truth.”
“Do you have any regrets?”
“Yes,” says Jamie.
“Like what?”
“I kind of wish we were doing a real roadtrip. You and me, I mean. Chip could come too, but...” Jamie is concentrating very hard on the road ahead. They’re getting into the mountains and the roads are starting to curve.
“Maybe next time,” says Kieron.
“Truth or dare?” Jamie asks.
“Dare,” says Kieron.
“When we see Matt, you have to kiss him on the mouth.”
“I’m not doing that,” says Kieron. “Kelly Sue might kill me.”
“Don’t be dramatic. Kelly Sue would take pictures. That’s what you have to do! Kiss him on the mouth long enough for us to take pictures.”
“Fine,” sighs Kieron. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Biggest superhero crush?”
“Dick Grayson. He’s got those muscles, you know.”
“And that butt.”
“Exactly. Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“If you had to foster parent a teenage superhero, who would you choose?”
Truth or Dare carries them most of through Wyoming. Kieron picks up driving just in time for the nasty bits of Idaho and they’re part of the way into Oregon with the sun in the sky when Chip wakes up and yells at them for letting him sleep so long when the two of them haven’t slept since Chicago. He drives the rest of the way to the DeFraction’s while they sleep in back and wakes them only when they get to Portland mid-afternoon. He pulls up in front of the house, or, more accurately, they pull up down the street packed with cars, somewhere near the house.
“They weren’t joking about the party, were they?” says Kieron, marveling.
“I hope we’re only fashionably late,” says Chip.
They gather up all the candy and toys - “We’re kind of like a pre-apocalyptic trio of Santa Clauses, aren’t we?” remarks Chip - and climb out of the car. It’s warm out and easy to pretend that the shadows on the ground are from clouds, not spaceships.
The street has the makings of a block party, with people gathering outside their houses and kids playing in driveways and yards. Two women are even dragging a barbecue into their front yard. Jamie, Kieron, and Chip smile at them as they walk past and the women wave back.
“All right men,” says Chip when they’re in front of Matt and Kelly Sue’s house. “We either get our asses kicked or are welcomed like lost travelers.”
“My money’s on arse-kicking,” says Kieron.
“Me too.”
“Come on, they’ll be glad to see us.” Chip rings the doorbell. They can hear how noisy it is inside, but hopefully someone hears the bell.
Someone does hear the bell. Kelly Sue hears the bell and when she opens the door she says, “Oh my god,” and then yells, “We thought you were dead!” She hugs Kieron and Jamie at the same time and punches Chip in the arm when she’s done.
“Good to see you too,” says Chip, rubbing his arm.
“Matt!” she calls down the hall. “Look who finally showed up!”
Matt comes to the front door and says, “well, shit.”
Kieron surges forward and kisses him. Jamie pulls out his phone and takes a picture. Kieron releases Matt and steps away.
“No wait,” says Kelly Sue, laughing and pulling out her phone as well, “I want a picture too.”
“Told you,” says Jamie. Kieron glares at him, but kisses Matt again.
“Twitter is gonna love this,” says Kelly Sue. She’s still grinning.
“Wow Kieron, I never knew you felt that way,” says Matt, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Jamie and I were playing Truth or Dare on the ride over,” Kieron says.
Chip makes a noise of outrage behind them. “You bastards played without me?”
Then they are forced to explain their great American roadtrip to Matt and Kelly Sue, about the games they played, the crossovers they dreamed up, the people they met, the candy and toys they bought, how far they came.
“Happy Halloween,” says Jamie, holding up his bag. “An end of the word party wouldn’t be complete without presents, right?”
“You’re so sweet,” says Kelly Sue. “Come in. Have some coffee, you must be exhausted.”
Half the comics creators and their families that are based in Portland are crammed into the house. There are multiple kids running around and they really do get to play the part of pre-apocalyptic Santa Clauses, handing out candy and toys. They drift away from each other to talk to other people for awhile, eager to find out what has happened while they’ve been driving. The aliens truly did deliver an ultimatum via every form of media transmission and they truly are in all probability going to die in the next two days. Everyone is very calm about it.
The party eventually reaches critical mass and Kelly Sue and Matt force everyone outside. It has really turned into a block party outside - multiple barbecues have been brought into front yards, music is blaring out the windows of every other house, and it seems that the inhabitants of entire block and the surrounding area have gathered on the street to talk to each other. Some people are staring up at the sky and gesturing in a way that cannot be interpreted as anything other than deep contempt for the aliens, but still the mood is light.
Jamie finds Kieron standing in someone’s front yard talking to the women who waved to them earlier. Jamie joins them; they are talking about art, of course. Eventually the women turn away to tend to their barbecue leaving Kieron and Jamie alone together.
“The end of the world is rather pleasant,” says Kieron.
“This is not how I thought I would spend my last hours on Earth, but it’s not bad,” Jamie agrees.
They watch Chip draw a illustrate a giant spaceship in the middle of the street with sidewalk chalk and the help of some very young children.
“I wish we could call home though,” says Kieron. “Hear everyone’s voices one last time.”
“Yeah.”
Matt and Kelly Sue enter the chalk situation, Matt carrying Tallulah on his hip. They look critically down at the spaceship and offer suggestions that Chip waves off. The young children draw all over his spaceship while he’s arguing about his color scheme with Kelly Sue.
“I’m glad I’m with you,” says Jamie suddenly. “I don’t think I’d have made it across the country alone.”
“I’d probably be drunk in New York without you with me,” says Kieron. “Being here with you is much better.”
A cloud passes across the sun. It’s dark briefly and then brighter than ever.
“We could have made a great comic out of this, you know,” says Kieron.
They stand for some minutes, watching their friends play with sidewalk chalk.
“You know,” says Jamie, turning to Kieron, “We still could make that comic. It’s not like we don’t have the materials.”
“A comic about the end of the world at the end of the world?”
“I’d rather go out doing what I love with the people that I love than standing around waiting for the end.”
Kieron claps a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s do it.”
Together they kneel down on the ground and steal Chip’s chalk, who does not notice as he is playing hangman with a ten year old. He’s losing.
“Okay,” dictates Kieron. “It begins with two men climbing out of a pile of rubble in New York City…”