Could you be any more of a dick?
I went to Jackson today to go to a doctor's appointment and to talk to my parents about wedding finances. I really, really wasn't looking forward to it, thanks to a rather pretentious email my dad sent earlier and the fact that he's incredibly tight-fisted, but it went rather well. HOWEVER, I got back to Kalamazoo and promptly realized that I left my wallet in Jackson. After some freaking out and calling the Starbuck's we'd gone to to see if they had my wallet (they did not), I called Dad to ask if he would go in and check in person, to see if maybe they hadn't seen it. After I'd hung up, I remembered I was at Panera too, and called him back to ask him to check there.
He agreed, then said, "You know, I'll gladly do this for you, but if an honest person finds it they're going to call you and let you know they have it."
"Yes, Dad, but if a dishonest person finds it I'm fucked."
"Well, yeah, but that'll happen whether I go looking for it or not."
A;LSKDJLKAFLJ FUCK YOU DAD. I'm SOOOOOOO fucking sorry for inconveniencing you by asking you to help me find the wallet that contains my driver's license, school ID, social security card (dumb idea, I know), debit card, bank account number, and insurance cards. Clearly you are doing me a huge favor instead of something a good parent does to help out their child. My bad. Next time I'll be sure to lose my wallet where Mom lives so you don't have to get off your ass and do something about it.
Panera DID have my wallet, thankfully, and everything's in there, though I'll double-check my bank statement online in the next couple days just in case something did happen. But still, I really did not need that conversation while I was freaked out and crying because I had no idea where the wallet was. I have a headache now, which I know is from all that crying, and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be this bad if Dad hadn't pissed me off so much.
He agreed, then said, "You know, I'll gladly do this for you, but if an honest person finds it they're going to call you and let you know they have it."
"Yes, Dad, but if a dishonest person finds it I'm fucked."
"Well, yeah, but that'll happen whether I go looking for it or not."
A;LSKDJLKAFLJ FUCK YOU DAD. I'm SOOOOOOO fucking sorry for inconveniencing you by asking you to help me find the wallet that contains my driver's license, school ID, social security card (dumb idea, I know), debit card, bank account number, and insurance cards. Clearly you are doing me a huge favor instead of something a good parent does to help out their child. My bad. Next time I'll be sure to lose my wallet where Mom lives so you don't have to get off your ass and do something about it.
Panera DID have my wallet, thankfully, and everything's in there, though I'll double-check my bank statement online in the next couple days just in case something did happen. But still, I really did not need that conversation while I was freaked out and crying because I had no idea where the wallet was. I have a headache now, which I know is from all that crying, and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be this bad if Dad hadn't pissed me off so much.