(no subject)
Matt, you have 5 posts a day. It's kinda' scary but I get where you're coming from. Exam studying is just not in it for most people I know this semester, just kinda' happens.
I suppose it's that most people I know can't help but shift their focus elsewhere despite what their head tells them. In the case of most of the people I see on a daily basis it's pretty much the same thing, central elections of next semester. I find it kinda' funny that I'm having so many sleepless nights over them but at the same time I feel almost destined to lose if another particular rookie decides that the path I walk is his as well. I'm not sure whether it's the uncertainty that's winding me up so much or simply the fact that I want to try to defy what my mind tells me.
(I had a long cut here about everything I wanted to see next year, everything I'm hoping for, everything that's driving me but I realized one thing. It's all about IHC and I don't know many who'd be on the same wavelength so there's no real point. Suffice to say I'm part of a student government, I'm getting really into it, I want to get very deep into it next year. I have ideas, I have opinions, I have goals and I don't want to lose.)
One second thought, I'd just be blowing a lot of hot air.
As much as I'm getting wrapped up in this I can't help but think how distant I'm growing from my origins of university, but closer to in another way. On the one hand I'm becoming much more deeply immersed in what started out to me just as hall council, my stepping stone to RLS. Now I don't give a shit about ever being in RLS (as much as I know it's great and all), I'd much be branded with our IHC logo for life. I think it's where I belong, regardless of the fact that I didn't stick with it last year for what I choose to think of as extenuating circumstances.
I've learned a lot about it, about where I want to go in it, about how it changes and about it's past. There's always more to learn but I feel like it's helped bring out my true colours very quickly. Regardless of the outcome of the fifth meeting next semester I think I'm a lifer now.
I'm losing touch with some of the people I grew up with at this school and I think it's mostly my fault. I know my own type by now (see text - obligate phantom) and I know the kind of effort I have to put forward to get and stay in touch with people. I know the way the system works, I have to go looking for people because, frankly, it doesn't just about never works the other way around (even pretty much in IHC, as much as I love it), so it's important to put in the effort. We get busy, it take more effort but it's still no excuse.
A lot of it's perfectly understandable I mean: IHC takes up a lot of my free time between class, I live on campus still, I have people who go looking for me from time to time now, I'm only 3/4 welcome at the Longhouse, I'm out of touch and it feels like it'd be hard to reconnect...the list goes on...but I still feel as if I'm not trying hard enough, not making enough time for the people I knew first. It bothers me but, at the same time, I'm so busy focusing everywhere else that I'm not really doing much about it. Along with everything else in life, almost, I'm trying to work on it.
I hate to sound like a tool, though I really am one most of the time, but I just don't know...
I think I'm drained enough to sleep now. Thank god I only need a 40% on the exam I barely studied for is at 8:30 in the morning. Wait...something...
Power nap?
I suppose it's that most people I know can't help but shift their focus elsewhere despite what their head tells them. In the case of most of the people I see on a daily basis it's pretty much the same thing, central elections of next semester. I find it kinda' funny that I'm having so many sleepless nights over them but at the same time I feel almost destined to lose if another particular rookie decides that the path I walk is his as well. I'm not sure whether it's the uncertainty that's winding me up so much or simply the fact that I want to try to defy what my mind tells me.
(I had a long cut here about everything I wanted to see next year, everything I'm hoping for, everything that's driving me but I realized one thing. It's all about IHC and I don't know many who'd be on the same wavelength so there's no real point. Suffice to say I'm part of a student government, I'm getting really into it, I want to get very deep into it next year. I have ideas, I have opinions, I have goals and I don't want to lose.)
One second thought, I'd just be blowing a lot of hot air.
As much as I'm getting wrapped up in this I can't help but think how distant I'm growing from my origins of university, but closer to in another way. On the one hand I'm becoming much more deeply immersed in what started out to me just as hall council, my stepping stone to RLS. Now I don't give a shit about ever being in RLS (as much as I know it's great and all), I'd much be branded with our IHC logo for life. I think it's where I belong, regardless of the fact that I didn't stick with it last year for what I choose to think of as extenuating circumstances.
I've learned a lot about it, about where I want to go in it, about how it changes and about it's past. There's always more to learn but I feel like it's helped bring out my true colours very quickly. Regardless of the outcome of the fifth meeting next semester I think I'm a lifer now.
I'm losing touch with some of the people I grew up with at this school and I think it's mostly my fault. I know my own type by now (see text - obligate phantom) and I know the kind of effort I have to put forward to get and stay in touch with people. I know the way the system works, I have to go looking for people because, frankly, it doesn't just about never works the other way around (even pretty much in IHC, as much as I love it), so it's important to put in the effort. We get busy, it take more effort but it's still no excuse.
A lot of it's perfectly understandable I mean: IHC takes up a lot of my free time between class, I live on campus still, I have people who go looking for me from time to time now, I'm only 3/4 welcome at the Longhouse, I'm out of touch and it feels like it'd be hard to reconnect...the list goes on...but I still feel as if I'm not trying hard enough, not making enough time for the people I knew first. It bothers me but, at the same time, I'm so busy focusing everywhere else that I'm not really doing much about it. Along with everything else in life, almost, I'm trying to work on it.
I hate to sound like a tool, though I really am one most of the time, but I just don't know...
I think I'm drained enough to sleep now. Thank god I only need a 40% on the exam I barely studied for is at 8:30 in the morning. Wait...something...
Power nap?