hmhm
Busy busy busy.
Hmm...
I had a chat with a friend today, and I think I might actually be depressed. Or have been living with depression for a long time.
How does one know if they are depressed if they just live it? People adapt, right? Why does depression have to manifest itself in only a "set way"? There are probably lots of undiagnosed things because there are differing levels of health problems. There are also too many diagnoses in the world... Nervous Disorder, anyone?
Despite having known depression alongside a whole host of other things, I don't know if I want to accept that I am depressed. I don't really feel depressed. I don't want it to hinder myself.
I feel normal, but I'm only as normal as I know myself. Question is, are people all this way? How do you know whether you're feeling "normal" or not?
What the fuck is normality?
Optimum? Nah... people aren't "optimum" always. The bar can always be increased. And who is to know when and at what stage is a person at his/her optimum? Can a doctor tell? Doctors just read symptoms.
Oh, you look happy - you're not depressed. Oh, you look calm, you're not nervous. Oh, you're not bleeding, you can't be hurting.
People can also lie. "I have an ache in my right gut! I have appendicitis! My sister had the same thing last year and they cut her open!" ...when they actually don't. What's the doctor gonna tell you before tests are done? "Well, it would seem that you do have appendicitis." With something less easy to find physical evidence though? It's so easy to say someone is depressed or whatever.
Worst part is, sometimes people blame the doctor. "He's so crappy! He disregards my problems... my pain! Says he can't find anything wrong with me."
Equally as bad though, is a doctor who says, "You don't look like you're in pain and you can still move - you can't possibly have a slipped disk. Okay, tell me: What drugs do you want?" ...people have different tolerances for pain.
In any case though, I've got better things to worry about than whether or not I'm depressed. Really, I just think I'm some lazy and not determined enough to get up when the alarm clock rings a multitude of times.
Can't be that I'm tired - I slept 9 hours, which is a whole 3 hours more than what I'd usually need. But of course, i don't sleep that whole 6 hours or even tht occasional 8 hours on a regular basis. Could that be it? I don't know. I've been needing more sleep these days, that's for sure.
Could also be a lack of proper exercise.
But realy, I shouldn't self-diagnose. I'd say it's not all that important to me, so seeing a doctor for something like this that I know they can't come to reply to beyond common sense would be pointless.
It's a matter of waiting it out for the busiest time of the semester to fly through. Maybe then I'll find my "optimum".
Hmm...
I had a chat with a friend today, and I think I might actually be depressed. Or have been living with depression for a long time.
How does one know if they are depressed if they just live it? People adapt, right? Why does depression have to manifest itself in only a "set way"? There are probably lots of undiagnosed things because there are differing levels of health problems. There are also too many diagnoses in the world... Nervous Disorder, anyone?
Despite having known depression alongside a whole host of other things, I don't know if I want to accept that I am depressed. I don't really feel depressed. I don't want it to hinder myself.
I feel normal, but I'm only as normal as I know myself. Question is, are people all this way? How do you know whether you're feeling "normal" or not?
What the fuck is normality?
Optimum? Nah... people aren't "optimum" always. The bar can always be increased. And who is to know when and at what stage is a person at his/her optimum? Can a doctor tell? Doctors just read symptoms.
Oh, you look happy - you're not depressed. Oh, you look calm, you're not nervous. Oh, you're not bleeding, you can't be hurting.
People can also lie. "I have an ache in my right gut! I have appendicitis! My sister had the same thing last year and they cut her open!" ...when they actually don't. What's the doctor gonna tell you before tests are done? "Well, it would seem that you do have appendicitis." With something less easy to find physical evidence though? It's so easy to say someone is depressed or whatever.
Worst part is, sometimes people blame the doctor. "He's so crappy! He disregards my problems... my pain! Says he can't find anything wrong with me."
Equally as bad though, is a doctor who says, "You don't look like you're in pain and you can still move - you can't possibly have a slipped disk. Okay, tell me: What drugs do you want?" ...people have different tolerances for pain.
In any case though, I've got better things to worry about than whether or not I'm depressed. Really, I just think I'm some lazy and not determined enough to get up when the alarm clock rings a multitude of times.
Can't be that I'm tired - I slept 9 hours, which is a whole 3 hours more than what I'd usually need. But of course, i don't sleep that whole 6 hours or even tht occasional 8 hours on a regular basis. Could that be it? I don't know. I've been needing more sleep these days, that's for sure.
Could also be a lack of proper exercise.
But realy, I shouldn't self-diagnose. I'd say it's not all that important to me, so seeing a doctor for something like this that I know they can't come to reply to beyond common sense would be pointless.
It's a matter of waiting it out for the busiest time of the semester to fly through. Maybe then I'll find my "optimum".