FINAL EXAM
MOST GRAND & NOBLE STUDENTS
THE EXAM LIES THUSLY BEFORE YOU.
FORTUNATELY IT IS OF THE "OPEN BOOK / TAKE HOME" VARIETY.
WHEREUPON YOU HAVE 48 HRS TO COMPLETE.
YOUR STUDY GUIDE IS THE CONTENTS OF THE LIVEJOURNAL BEFORE YOU.
IF YOU PASS, MANY AN OPPORTUNITY AWAITS YOU IN ROUND TWO, SECOND SEMESTER
(AFFECTIONATELY REFERRED TO AS "OL' LOYALTY" BY ITS CO-INMATES)
ROUND THE FIRST:
BASIC LOGIC:
ONE POINT EACH
Q.1:
"ROUND THE LOOP AND THROUGH THE BEND" JOLLY MR. GEEBERT WAS HEARD TO EXCLAIM
WHAT WORDS DID MR. GEEBERT THEREFORE EXCLAIM?
A) "JEEPERS INSERVITUDE!"
B) "MY TRUE BLUE SHOE WAS HELD IN CHECK BY THE HAND OF GOD!"
C) "ROUND THE LOOP AND THROUGH THE BEND"
D) "INSANITY HEREWITH LIES THE TUPPERWARE"
Q.2:
OBSERVE THE NOBLE HIPPIE
THIS SHAGGY AND MOST AFFECTIONATELY FOUL CREATURE IS PASSIONATE MOST ABOUT WHAT CAUSE?
A) THE PLIGHT OF THE TWISTED ZEBRA
B) ENVIRONMENTAL & HUMANISTIC CONCERNS
C) SWIFT SMITHS SNEAKILY SLIP IN & SINK SIR SANYARO'S SHIPPING SHEETS!!!
D) TO BECOME ONE WITH THE SHOPPING MALL
Q.3:
"HELLO & THIS IS THE LATEST NEWS FROM THE SCENE OF THE SHOPPING MALL MASSACARE!!!!!"
WHICH CELEBRITY IS MOST LIKELY TO SPEAK THIS?
A) GARY COLEMAN, PLUGGED UP ON DOPEMINE
B) CONNIE CHUNG, PLUGGED UP ON DOPEMINE
C) GARY COLEMAN, SWIMMING TO HIS EYEBALLS IN CRACK!!!
D) CONNIE CHUNG, SWIMMING TO HER EYEBALLS IN CRACK!!!
Q.4:
HARK! YOU SEE BEFORE YOU; ILLUMINATED MELODRAMATICALLY IN THE SURROUNDING SPOTLIGHT
A CAN OF SOUP!! WHAT DO YOU THUSLY CONCLUDE?
A) MUST BE ONE WITH THE ZEBRAKIND!
B) MY CATALOGUING NEEDS REORGNIZATION, STRANGER!
C) I CAN NOW MAKE DINNER
D) MY DANGERZONE PARTRIDGE IS ACTING UP AGAIN!!
ROUND THE SECOND:
CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS
FOR THIS ROUND, ANSWER AS IF YOU ARE IN THE MIND OF A LOCAL COMPUTER NERD; WHO'S BEEN GUZZLIN' THE OL' ROOT BEER FOR A PERIOD OF OH I DON'T KNOW BOB HOW ABOUT TEN HOURS STRAIGHT?!?!?!?!?!??! YEAH THAT SOUNDS GOOD:
2 POINTS EACH
Q.5:
"HELLO SIR I AM MIGHTY PLEASED TO BE HERE ON PLANETWAUUUUUUUUUGGHGHGHHGHG"?
A) "I AGREE BUT FIRST ARE YOU TO DEFINESRUURURURUURUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHBHBHAHBABABBBABABBABAABBABATTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!"
B) "THIS IS MERELY HYOPTHETICAL I ASSUME?"
C) "RING FOR AN AMBULANCE"
D) ""PIX PLZ KTHX"
Q.6:
HELLO AND HOW ARE YOU MY GOOD SIR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!GRABUAULSA
A) WHY I AM MIGHTY PLEASURED BY THAT IS AN ESSAY!
B) YOU ARE MAKING NO SENSE!
C) VIRTUALHARMONIOUS SLURBORTICULAR GORDORMINKSION YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHH!!
D) NO SIR!
Q.7:
THAT OUTFIT SURE IS SWINGING, HEPCAT!
A) RIGHT KEEN DADDY-O!
B) BOY, I HOPE HE GOES FOR MY NEW OUTFIT!
C) GURBAUORGHLAMARBATAMBABAORTANIONIOUSWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETITITITITITITIABRAHAM LINCOLN!!!!!!!
D) MIGHTY GLAD TO TESTIFY, BROTHER!
SECTION C:
ARTISTRY
FOR THIS ROUND, YOU ARE TO CONSTRUCT A LENGTHY DIATRIBE IN RESPONSE TO THE CHOSEN TOPIC. MARQUEE TAG USE IS HIGHLY SUGGESTED.
CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING
TWENTY FUCKINGPOINTS
A)
omg jon and her have been goin steady for the past four weeks!
go megs, you always get your boy!! ROFL hehehe we so bad!
B)
"Well, I suppose that particular senator cannot quite make it to the ballgame today. I guess that means we'll have to take a raincheck, eh Joe?"
C)
"Okay, so just what the fuck is with this gianted bloated buffoon? He starts spreading gibberish about how he's Mr. Smooth and Pimping Hardcore, then turns around and is HUYRR SO LOENLY... way to go, Mr. Consistancy!
D)
MORBID MUDER HELM! QUICKLY, WE ARE EXPECTED TO THUSLY MAN THE SHIPS!!!! AND DO NOT FORGET THE SWIZZLERUM AND BLASTBAMBIS!!!
ALL APPLICATIONS WILL BE SCORED PRIVATELY WITHIN 48 HOURS OF RECEIVING. A MINIMUM SCORE OF TWENTY OUT OF THIRTY OVERALL POINTS IS REQUIRED. THERE ARE TWO "FLOATING" EXTRA CREDIT POINTS THAT CAN BE APPLIED AT HIS MOST SALTED EMINANCE'S WHIM. DON'T SNIVEL. DON'T CHEAT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS EDUCATIONAL ODYSSEY!!
capslock revolution
.
THE EXAM LIES THUSLY BEFORE YOU.
FORTUNATELY IT IS OF THE "OPEN BOOK / TAKE HOME" VARIETY.
WHEREUPON YOU HAVE 48 HRS TO COMPLETE.
YOUR STUDY GUIDE IS THE CONTENTS OF THE LIVEJOURNAL BEFORE YOU.
IF YOU PASS, MANY AN OPPORTUNITY AWAITS YOU IN ROUND TWO, SECOND SEMESTER
(AFFECTIONATELY REFERRED TO AS "OL' LOYALTY" BY ITS CO-INMATES)
ROUND THE FIRST:
BASIC LOGIC:
ONE POINT EACH
Q.1:
"ROUND THE LOOP AND THROUGH THE BEND" JOLLY MR. GEEBERT WAS HEARD TO EXCLAIM
WHAT WORDS DID MR. GEEBERT THEREFORE EXCLAIM?
A) "JEEPERS INSERVITUDE!"
B) "MY TRUE BLUE SHOE WAS HELD IN CHECK BY THE HAND OF GOD!"
C) "ROUND THE LOOP AND THROUGH THE BEND"
D) "INSANITY HEREWITH LIES THE TUPPERWARE"
Q.2:
OBSERVE THE NOBLE HIPPIE
THIS SHAGGY AND MOST AFFECTIONATELY FOUL CREATURE IS PASSIONATE MOST ABOUT WHAT CAUSE?
A) THE PLIGHT OF THE TWISTED ZEBRA
B) ENVIRONMENTAL & HUMANISTIC CONCERNS
C) SWIFT SMITHS SNEAKILY SLIP IN & SINK SIR SANYARO'S SHIPPING SHEETS!!!
D) TO BECOME ONE WITH THE SHOPPING MALL
Q.3:
"HELLO & THIS IS THE LATEST NEWS FROM THE SCENE OF THE SHOPPING MALL MASSACARE!!!!!"
WHICH CELEBRITY IS MOST LIKELY TO SPEAK THIS?
A) GARY COLEMAN, PLUGGED UP ON DOPEMINE
B) CONNIE CHUNG, PLUGGED UP ON DOPEMINE
C) GARY COLEMAN, SWIMMING TO HIS EYEBALLS IN CRACK!!!
D) CONNIE CHUNG, SWIMMING TO HER EYEBALLS IN CRACK!!!
Q.4:
HARK! YOU SEE BEFORE YOU; ILLUMINATED MELODRAMATICALLY IN THE SURROUNDING SPOTLIGHT
A CAN OF SOUP!! WHAT DO YOU THUSLY CONCLUDE?
A) MUST BE ONE WITH THE ZEBRAKIND!
B) MY CATALOGUING NEEDS REORGNIZATION, STRANGER!
C) I CAN NOW MAKE DINNER
D) MY DANGERZONE PARTRIDGE IS ACTING UP AGAIN!!
ROUND THE SECOND:
CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS
FOR THIS ROUND, ANSWER AS IF YOU ARE IN THE MIND OF A LOCAL COMPUTER NERD; WHO'S BEEN GUZZLIN' THE OL' ROOT BEER FOR A PERIOD OF OH I DON'T KNOW BOB HOW ABOUT TEN HOURS STRAIGHT?!?!?!?!?!??! YEAH THAT SOUNDS GOOD:
2 POINTS EACH
Q.5:
"HELLO SIR I AM MIGHTY PLEASED TO BE HERE ON PLANETWAUUUUUUUUUGGHGHGHHGHG"?
A) "I AGREE BUT FIRST ARE YOU TO DEFINESRUURURURUURUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHBHBHAHBABABBBABABBABAABBABATTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!"
B) "THIS IS MERELY HYOPTHETICAL I ASSUME?"
C) "RING FOR AN AMBULANCE"
D) ""PIX PLZ KTHX"
Q.6:
HELLO AND HOW ARE YOU MY GOOD SIR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!GRABUAULSA
A) WHY I AM MIGHTY PLEASURED BY THAT IS AN ESSAY!
B) YOU ARE MAKING NO SENSE!
C) VIRTUALHARMONIOUS SLURBORTICULAR GORDORMINKSION YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHH!!
D) NO SIR!
Q.7:
THAT OUTFIT SURE IS SWINGING, HEPCAT!
A) RIGHT KEEN DADDY-O!
B) BOY, I HOPE HE GOES FOR MY NEW OUTFIT!
C) GURBAUORGHLAMARBATAMBABAORTANIONIOUSWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETITITITITITITIABRAHAM LINCOLN!!!!!!!
D) MIGHTY GLAD TO TESTIFY, BROTHER!
SECTION C:
ARTISTRY
FOR THIS ROUND, YOU ARE TO CONSTRUCT A LENGTHY DIATRIBE IN RESPONSE TO THE CHOSEN TOPIC. MARQUEE TAG USE IS HIGHLY SUGGESTED.
CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING
TWENTY FUCKINGPOINTS
A)
omg jon and her have been goin steady for the past four weeks!
go megs, you always get your boy!! ROFL hehehe we so bad!
B)
"Well, I suppose that particular senator cannot quite make it to the ballgame today. I guess that means we'll have to take a raincheck, eh Joe?"
C)
"Okay, so just what the fuck is with this gianted bloated buffoon? He starts spreading gibberish about how he's Mr. Smooth and Pimping Hardcore, then turns around and is HUYRR SO LOENLY... way to go, Mr. Consistancy!
D)
MORBID MUDER HELM! QUICKLY, WE ARE EXPECTED TO THUSLY MAN THE SHIPS!!!! AND DO NOT FORGET THE SWIZZLERUM AND BLASTBAMBIS!!!
ALL APPLICATIONS WILL BE SCORED PRIVATELY WITHIN 48 HOURS OF RECEIVING. A MINIMUM SCORE OF TWENTY OUT OF THIRTY OVERALL POINTS IS REQUIRED. THERE ARE TWO "FLOATING" EXTRA CREDIT POINTS THAT CAN BE APPLIED AT HIS MOST SALTED EMINANCE'S WHIM. DON'T SNIVEL. DON'T CHEAT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS EDUCATIONAL ODYSSEY!!
capslock revolution
.