Old fic is new again

[therumjournals]

So occasionally I read my old fic. Kind of more than occasionally? But this week I really couldn't focus at work and instead read most of my old Pinto fic on my phone. And now I miss everything and I'm like, damn, who wrote this, this stuff is good (most of it) and I could never write like this now. Hopefully that last part's not true, but it's

Comments

[thesilverwitch]

about the looking back at your own writing and thinking that you are no longer able to write something like that -- that happens to me all the time as well. i don't often reread my old fic (most of it makes me shudder just thinking about it), but occasionally i'll pick up an older piece and be amazed at myself. it makes me think: are my jokes still funny? am i still capable of writing such detailed descriptions? such poetic sentences? most of the time it feels like i just can't anymore. like i've left a part of myself in my old work that i can't get back.

with that said, i also think a lot of it is just stuff i create in my mind. it's hard to have an objective perspective on something you're currently writing and that lack of objectivity is, in my opinion, what makes us think we've lost quality. if i go back and read something i posted say a week or a month ago, i'll usually find that i like it! and that it's quite good! maybe not like my old texts are, but not worse either. and i have gotten better, even if i can't always see it.

basically, what i'm saying is that i think our perception of our current selves is flawed and that comparing our current self to an old self doesn't work like we think we do.

not to mention writing is a bit like riding a back. you can lose some of your skill if you don't do it for a while, but you can never truly forget how to do it.