Fic: So Much Love, And Also So Much Information (A Star Trek RPF Fanfic)
Title: So Much Love, And Also So Much Information
Author: therumjournals
Pairing: Chris Pine/Karl Urban
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3,900
Prompt/Summary: “Karl meets Chris's family, complete with cavity inducing schmoop.”
Disclaimer: I don’t know any of these people (specifically, I don’t know Katie Pine’s husband’s name or really much else about the Pine family.) The only profit I will make off of this is a warm, happy feeling in my heart.
A/N: I wrote Urbine!! \o/ And the world didn't end! (Although, I like to think that when I posted it, Zach shed a single tear...) Written for misfitdauphine for trekrpfexchange. Thanks to everyone who read and commented on the original post. Title is a quote from Meet the Parents.
Chris stepped into his apartment and closed the door quietly behind him. He’d cut his jog short, hoping Karl was still asleep so he could sneak back into bed for a little mid-morning snuggle. He was tiptoeing down the hallway toward the bedroom when he heard Karl’s voice, and he cursed silently, his plan foiled. He frowned and moved closer, wondering who Karl could be talking to.
“Pleasure to meet you, sir, ma’am,” he heard Karl say, his voice gorgeous even when it was tinged with sleep. Karl made a frustrated sound as Chris reached the bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and he plastered himself up against the wall to peer inside.
“Mr. Pine, Mrs. Pine, it’s wonderful to make your acquaintance. Ugh, no.”
Chris grinned so hard his cheeks hurt, and he put a hand over his mouth to contain his glee.
“Hello Robert, hello Gwynne. I’d like to thank you for bringing such a fine piece of ass into the world.”
“You should definitely use that one,” Chris said, stepping into the room.
“Jesus Christ,” Karl said, startling and pressing a hand to his chest. “Holy hell, you heard all that.”
“I did,” Chris said, grinning. His eyes flicked down to Karl’s boxers and back up to his sleep-rumpled hair. “You should wear that tonight. I’m not even kidding.”
“Fuck you.”
“Are you nervous? Because you seem nervous,” Chris said, smirking as he stepped close enough to pull Karl into a reluctant hug. “You shouldn’t be nervous,” he whispered.
Karl returned his embrace, tightening his arms around Chris’s shoulders. His body practically hummed with tension. “I’m not…” He huffed out a sigh, giving in. “Do you know how long it’s been since I had to meet someone’s parents?”
“I’m gonna guess something like ‘a fuck of a long time’, but I’d rather hear you say it.”
“A fuck of a long time, that’s how long,” Karl obliged. Chris chuckled, pleased.
“You wanna back out?”
“No,” Karl sighed.
“You sure? I can give them a call, tell them you came down with a bad case of the runs.” Chris laughed as Karl pinched him hard on the side.
“I’ll grin and bear it,” Karl said, pressing his lips to Chris’s temple.
“Oh please, you’ll love it. Just treat it like it’s a convention, tell your corny jokes, make fun of Australians, everyone will love you, I promise.”
“They’ll love me?”
“They already love you, because they know I love you. Plus, I think my mom might have a little crush.”
“Wait, back up, did you say my jokes are corny?”
“What? No. I would never say that.”
“I’m pretty sure you said that.”
“I never said that, something must be wrong with your memory. Your brain’s gone all fuzzy with the nerves.”
Karl cupped a hand around Chris’s cheek and pulled him in for a lengthy kiss. “You know what would help settle my nerves?” he whispered, his lips brushing Chris’s stubbled cheek.
“A cup of tea?” Chris asked, but the joke was lost in the husky timbre of his voice and the way his hands clutched involuntarily at Karl’s t-shirt.
“Mmm, yeah, there’s nothing like a nice hot cup of tea,” Karl growled, and Chris made a sound of protest. Karl bit lightly at his neck and said, “After the fucking.”
“Nnngh,” Chris groaned, and he pushed Karl toward the bed.
It would be hours before either of them thought about Chris’s parents again.
**
“Karl, you look ridiculous.” Chris reached over and unfastened the top button of Karl’s shirt.
“Quit it,” Karl hissed, slapping his hand away and redoing the button. He looked in the visor mirror and straightened his hair for the fifth time. “I want to look decent.”
“And I want you to look indecent, like the man that I fell in love with,” Chris said, turning toward Karl from the driver’s seat. Karl didn’t even notice the glint in Chris’s eye, until he was throwing a leg over his lap, straddling him and wrapping strong hands behind his neck.
“Chris,” Karl protested, but he was tipping his head back to let Chris kiss a trail down the sensitive skin of his throat. He hissed as Chris scraped a canine across his Adam’s apple, and his brow furrowed as he felt a tug on his collar. He heard a snap and yelped as Chris yanked the top button of his shirt off with his teeth. “Fucker!”
Chris grinned at him, the button clenched between his front teeth, then he spat it out against the car window and turned back to capture Karl’s mouth with his own.
“Chris, your parents will see us,” Karl hissed.
“No they won’t, this isn’t my parents’ house.”
“What? But you said…”
“I said we should park here, but that was so I could do this,” Chris said, as he plunged a hand down the front of Karl’s trousers.
“Fuck, Chris,” Karl hissed, but he shifted so that Chris could work his fingers all the way around his cock for a few short strokes. “Ffff yeah, wait, wait-“ Chris ignored him and slid his thumb up to smear pre-cum around the head of Karl’s dick. “Do you…nngh…do you have any tissues?”
“Are you fucking kidding me, I have my hand on your dick and you’re thinking about tissues? Is the magic gone, or what?”
“I just- dammit, Chris- I don’t want to get the magic all over my pants right before I meet your parents.”
“Oh. Well in that case-“ Chris wriggled off his lap and lowered his mouth onto Karl’s cock.
Karl managed a grunted curse before Chris sucked him down, then it was all heavy breathing and slobbery grunts and a hand in Chris’s hair as Karl squirmed in his seat. Chris glanced up to see Karl watching him, lips slightly parted, hair mussed and collar hanging open, gorgeous and thoroughly unpresentable. One more flick of his tongue, then he felt Karl shudder, and he swallowed down the warm flood of liquid that filled his mouth.
Chris scrambled up and into the driver’s seat, leaning back to unzip his fly and give a few sharp tugs at his aching cock. “Oh fuck, Karl, so fucking hot,” he said, accompanied by the slapping of skin as he pressed his head back against the seat. Karl took a second to regain his focus, but he sat up quickly when he realized what Chris was doing.
“Chris, wait, let me-“ He leaned down, mouth open to take Chris’s cock, but it was too late - Chris grunted and a stream of jizz splashed across Karl’s lips and chin.
“Oh god, sorry,” Chris said, but the sincerity of his apology was lost in a spasm of hysterical laughter. Karl glared at him and wiped his hand across his face, wincing in displeasure. “Here,” Chris said, handing him a pile of tissues from the door pocket. Karl’s expression turned positively murderous as he yanked them from his hand and wiped them both clean. Chris watched him fondly and pulled him up for a long, lazy kiss. “Well, I don’t know about you,” he murmured against Karl’s lips. “But I’m not nervous anymore.”
**
Chris was still grinning obnoxiously as they headed up the walkway to his parents’ house a few minutes later. He slung an arm around Karl’s shoulders as they approached the door. “So when you meet my mom, try not to think about how you just had my spunk all over your face, okay? Because that could be somewhat disconcerting.”’
“Oh fuck you,” Karl growled. He tugged at his sleeves for the tenth time, ran a hand through his hair, and took a deep breath.
“Oh and just so you know,” Chris murmured as he reached for the doorknob, “Pines like to hug.” Then the door was being pulled open and Chris’s dad was standing there with a grin on his face, taking Karl’s proffered hand and pulling him into a hug before he could even get out any of his well-rehearsed opening lines.
“Karl! It’s wonderful to finally meet you, goodness we’ve heard so much about you, it’s about time Chris brought you over!”
“Thank you, uh, it’s my pleasure,” Karl managed, then Chris’s mom was hugging him and a little dog was yapping around their ankles, and Chris grinned because this was exactly how it was supposed to go. Karl sagged in relief when Katie and her husband came up the walk, taking the focus off of him and prompting a whole new round of hugging.
“So far so good,” Chris whispered, nudging Karl in the side.
“What do I get for this again?” Karl murmured.
“What do you want?”
Karl leaned in close to Chris’s ear. “How about a thorough grope in your childhood room?” Chris felt his cheeks flush, and he was pretty sure he would have grabbed Karl by the hand to go fulfill that request immediately if Katie hadn’t chose that moment to turn toward them.
“Karl! So great to see you again!”
They hugged, and Karl smiled as he pulled away, saying, “I hear congratulations are in order.”
Katie’s hand drifted to her slightly rounded belly. “Thanks.” She paused, glancing at Chris, then looked back at Karl with a sly grin. “Got any good tips on raising boys?”
“Oh my god! Katie, you didn’t tell me!” Chris squealed, giving her an enthusiastic hug.
“We just found out,” Katie told them. “Brad’s already planning a sports-themed nursery.”
Brad came over at the mention of his name. “Hey, Uncle Chris!” he said, clapping Chris on the shoulder.
Chris raised an eyebrow. “Starting that already?”
Katie rolled her eyes. “Just try to stop him. No, seriously. Please try.”
“Shush, momma,” Brad said, winking at Katie. He extended a hand in Karl’s direction. “Nice to see you again…Uncle Karl.”
Karl blushed as he shook Brad’s hand. The tell-tale dimple appeared on his cheek, and Chris’s heart thumped a little harder in his chest. He wondered how soon he’d be able to sneak Karl away for that grope.
**
“Robert and I took a trip to New Zealand a few years ago,” Chris’s mom said, as she set a pile of salad on her plate. Chris rolled his eyes, but he was secretly grateful for the ready topic of conversation.
Karl leaned forward enthusiastically. “Yeah? What parts did you get to?”
“The parts with the sheep,” Robert chimed in cheerily. “We saw a lot of those!”
Chris snorted, and Gwynne said, “Robert!”
“Actually,” Karl said, “did you know that there are-“
“-four sheep for every person in New Zealand?” Chris finished for him. Karl gave him a dirty look for interrupting his fun fact.
“Oh, but the wool there is absolutely wonderful,” Chris’s mom continued. “We spent some time in the shops-“
“A lot of time,” Robert interjected.
“And we bought a few sweaters-“
“A lot of sweaters.”
“Robert, I’m trying to have a conversation with Karl here, will you please let me finish?”
Robert ignored her and put an elbow on the table, leaning in toward Karl conspiratorially. “Now Karl, when we were in New Zealand, it seemed like all the young people were into the extreme sports. Have you done a lot of those?”
“Extreme comic book reading, maybe,” Chris murmured.
“Fuck you,” Karl shot, then his eyes widened as he remembered where they were. He clamped a hand over his mouth. Chris threw his head back, laughing. “Sorry,” Karl said contritely. An adorable blush was covering his cheeks and he didn’t seem to know where to look.
“Dude, it’s fine,” Chris said, patting him on the shoulder. “Go ahead, tell us about the extreme sports.”
“I, uh, I went ice climbing once,” Karl mumbled. He looked down at his plate and shoved a forkful of salad in his mouth. Chris gave his dad a pleading look, hoping he’d change the subject.
“You know what I’ve never understood,” Robert said helpfully around a mouthful of bread. He pointed at Karl with his fork. “Rugby.”
Karl’s face lit up and Chris’s eyes widened in dismay. “Dad, no! Please, I beg of you, do not get him started.”
Robert’s brow furrowed in confusion. “But I thought you said Karl liked rugby. It was on the list!”
“What list?” Karl asked, looking back and forth between them.
Chris tried hard not to groan in frustration as he hissed across the table. “Yes, but I believe I specifically said to only bring up rugby as a last resort.”
Robert gave an innocent shrug. “I thought it was time.”
“Wait, what's this about a list?” Karl asked again.
“Oh, Chris emailed us a list of your likes and dislikes so we could get to know a little bit about you in advance,” Gwynne said helpfully.
Karl turned to Chris with an eyebrow raised. “Did he?” Chris bit his lip. “And what, exactly, are my dislikes?”
Robert pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and read from it. “Cabbage, mushrooms, radishes, math, clowns, and, quote, ‘whatever you do, do not mention’-“
“DAD!” Chris yelled, leaping across the table to grab the paper out of his hand. “Heh, um, so, can we talk about Katie now or something? Yay, babies…” he trailed off, squirming under Karl’s glare.
“Wait,” Katie said, leaning forward. “When do we start with the embarrassing stories about Chris and break out the baby pictures?”
Chris wasn’t sure whether to be pissed or grateful to her for changing the subject. He settled on grateful, since Karl seemed to forget the existence of the list as he pointed at Katie with a grin. “I like where you’re going with this.”
“Christopher prefers to share his embarrassing stories on national TV,” Gwynne said, and Chris cringed a little under her glare. She still hadn’t gotten over the fact that her son had told the world that he’d vomited all over himself at the senior party.
“True,” Katie conceded, nodding. “Well, what about the photo albums then? When I met Brad’s mom, the first thing she did was to pull out the baby book and say things like ‘Look at his little dingle!’”
“Katie!” Brad yelped as his face turned a very bright shade of red.
“What? It’s not little now.”
Chris cracked up, while Brad looked like he wanted to climb under the table.
“Oh, I’ve got one,” Robert chimed in. “One night during high school, Chris was seeing this girl…what was her name, Chris?”
Chris stared at him. “I have no idea, and I’m really afraid of where you’re going with this…” Chris said slowly.
“You know, the one who dropped you off that one time, and you guys made out in the driveway for twenty minutes without realizing that the light was on and your mother and I could see you quite clearly from the living room couch. You two were really going at it!”
“Dad! Is there an appropriate bone in your body?” Chris exclaimed. Robert shook his head and laughed a little harder.
“Karl doesn’t mind, do you, Karl?”
Karl grinned at Chris. “So it runs in the family then?”
“I hate you all,” Chris grumbled, scowling. “Is it time for dessert yet?”
**
After dinner, Karl insisted on helping with the dishes, while Chris bounced impatiently in the doorway of the kitchen. Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer, and he grabbed Karl by the hand to drag him away.
“Where are we going?” Karl asked.
“I believe you requested a grope?”
Karl chuckled as he let Chris pull him up the stairs. “Wait, wait, what are these?” Karl asked, digging in his heels as he caught sight of the pictures lining the walls of the hallway.
“Oh, crap.” Chris had forgotten about the pictures, hadn’t really noticed them in years, and he stopped reluctantly to look at them alongside Karl.
His eyes roamed over the photographs - Katie and Chris at their various graduations, Chris in his Little League uniform, the requisite school and family pictures against that ridiculous gray-blue background…and Chris as a toddler, standing in the middle of a kiddie pool, naked and, by the grin splitting his chubby cheeks, quite proud of it.
Karl stood behind Chris and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Aww,” he said, nuzzling Chris’s ear. “Look at your little dingle.”
Chris leaned back into the embrace, turning his face so that Karl could press soft kisses to his stubbled cheek. “Pretty sure I peed in the pool right after that picture was taken,” he murmured.
“I’ve no doubt.” Karl ran his other hand down Chris’s side, fingers grazing his hip. “It’s the bowl cut that’s doing it for me, really.”
“God, yeah, that was a classic.” Chris turned in Karl’s arms and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “So when do I get to see some pictures of baby Karl-Heinz, huh?” He laughed as Karl slid a hand down to pinch his ass.
“Never. I sprang to life fully formed, in the exquisite body that you see before you.”
“Bullshit. You know I still jerk off to those jailbait pictures I found of you on the internet - what were you, like 17?”
“Around that, yeah, you pervy little shit.”
“But you were so dreamy.”
“Hey, what’s with the past tense?”
“Well, now you’ve got that rugged thing going on…I suppose I can’t complain.”
“Good. Now, when do I get to fuck you senseless in your childhood bed?”
“And you call me a pervy little shit?” Chris asked in fake astonishment. Karl looked at him, an eyebrow raised and a twinkle in his eyes, and Chris pulled him close. Their lips met in a gentle kiss that quickly turned urgent, lips parting and tongues sliding together as Chris tugged Karl’s shirt from his waistband and slid a hand underneath to press his palm against warm skin. Karl moaned quietly and tightened his embrace, plunging his tongue farther into Chris’s eager mouth.
“Um, hi.”
They pulled apart quickly at the sound of Katie’s voice, so quickly that Chris fell hard against the wall, almost knocking the baby pool picture off it’s nail. Which, Chris realized upon reflection, may have been a blessing. But instead it merely swayed in place as Chris moved away, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding his sister’s eye. “Really, Katie?”
“’Really, Chris?’” Katie said, imitating him. “Your room is like 5 feet away, it’s not my fault you couldn’t make it all the way there. Anyway, Mom wants to know if you guys want coffee.”
“Uh, sure.”
“Right. I’ll leave you to it then,” Katie said with a smirk, turning to leave.
Chris peeked at Karl, who looked adorably disheveled and distinctly uncomfortable. He glanced at the door to his bedroom. “It’s not happening, is it?” he asked mournfully. Karl shook his head and Chris sighed. “Right. Well. There’s always Thanksgiving, I guess.” He took Karl’s hand and they headed back downstairs.
**
They had coffee out on the back patio as the sun sank below the horizon. Chris drank his quickly, hoping to speed up the whole goodbye process and get the hell out of there. Their little hallway makeout session had gotten him all worked up and he was eager to get home and finish what they’d started. But apparently his parents weren’t eager to see them go, because after the coffee, and after Katie and Brad had said their farewells, Chris’s dad came up to Karl, clapping him on the shoulder.
“You a smoking man, Karl?”
“Uh. On occasion, you know, I usually-”
“I picked up some nice cigars the other day,” Robert said, interrupting Karl’s attempt at stuttering out an appropriate response. “Come out to the gazebo to have one with me?”
“Sure,” Karl said, catching Chris’s eye.
“What? Why can’t I have a cigar?” Chris asked, indignant.
“Because Christopher, smoking is bad for your health. Stay here with your mother while Karl and I go have a chat.”
Karl shrugged at Chris and turned to follow Robert across the lawn.
“Why do I feel like Dad’s going to ask Karl what his intentions towards me are?” Chris muttered to him mom as he watched them walk away.
“Don’t worry, honey,” Gwynne said, putting an arm around him “I’m sure he’ll be much more subtle than that.”
Chris sighed in defeat and glanced at her. “So what do you think, Mom?”
“Oh please, you know what I think.”
Chris grinned. “Yeah, but I want to hear you say it.”
Gwynne poked him in the side. “I think your boyfriend is gorgeous and smart and completely nutso for you.”
“Nutso?”
“Nutso.”
“I really love him,” Chris said, swallowing down the flood of emotion that came with sharing that precious piece of information with one of the other most important people in his life.
“No shit,” was her response.
Chris laughed and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Thanks, Mom.”
“I like seeing you happy, Christopher,” she said.
“Yeah.” Across the lawn, Karl turned and smiled at him. He smiled back. “It feels pretty damn good to me, too.”
**
They were quiet on the car ride home, lost in their own thoughts. Chris was the first to break the silence. “My mom said you’re nutso for me.”
“Did she now?” Karl said. He sounded sleepy and relaxed, and like he was smiling out the passenger side window. “Well your dad said you were bonkers over me.”
“Bonkers?!” Chris exclaimed.
“Yep. ‘He’s clearly bonkers over you,’ that’s what he said.”
Chris kept his eyes on the road, but was grinning now, too. “Bonkers,” he said thoughtfully. “Really?”
“Clearly.”
“So you like ‘em?” Chris said, after another minute.
Karl looked at him. “Of course.”
“My mom didn’t try to hit on you, did she?”
“No she did not. Although I have to say-“
“Finish that sentence, Urban, and you will never see my impressively sized dingle ever again,” Chris warned.
Karl bit his cheek and glanced at Chris out of the corner of his eye. “It is impressive,” he said, quietly reassuring.
“I know it is.”
“I’d like to see it again.”
“I know you would.”
“Sooner rather than later. NO, don’t pull over, Jesus, we’re like five minutes from home!”
“Sorry,” Chris said, pulling back into the road. “I just wasn’t sure you’d be able to wait.”
“I can wait a little.”
“It’s yours whenever you want it.”
“I know.”
Chris kept his eyes on the road, but he heard the smile in Karl’s voice, could feel Karl watching him with half-closed eyes. He took a deep breath. “I mean, like, whenever you want it. Like, ever.”
Karl was quiet for a second. Chris thought he might have stopped breathing - maybe they both had. “You mean, like, forever?” Karl asked quietly.
Chris nodded. His throat suddenly felt tight and he felt a prickling behind his eyes.
Karl reached over, setting his hand on the back of Chris’s neck and stroking slightly with his thumb. “Yeah, alright.”
“Yeah?”
“Sure.”
Chris let out a relieved breath and smiled. “We’re going to be the awesomest uncles ever.” When Karl didn’t respond, he glanced over. “We are, right?”
Karl was staring at him, hazel eyes dark with desire. Chris’s tongue flicked out to lick his lips.
“Pull over.”
They were only two blocks from home. Chris obliged him, nonetheless.
*The End*
Author: therumjournals
Pairing: Chris Pine/Karl Urban
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3,900
Prompt/Summary: “Karl meets Chris's family, complete with cavity inducing schmoop.”
Disclaimer: I don’t know any of these people (specifically, I don’t know Katie Pine’s husband’s name or really much else about the Pine family.) The only profit I will make off of this is a warm, happy feeling in my heart.
A/N: I wrote Urbine!! \o/ And the world didn't end! (Although, I like to think that when I posted it, Zach shed a single tear...) Written for misfitdauphine for trekrpfexchange. Thanks to everyone who read and commented on the original post. Title is a quote from Meet the Parents.
Chris stepped into his apartment and closed the door quietly behind him. He’d cut his jog short, hoping Karl was still asleep so he could sneak back into bed for a little mid-morning snuggle. He was tiptoeing down the hallway toward the bedroom when he heard Karl’s voice, and he cursed silently, his plan foiled. He frowned and moved closer, wondering who Karl could be talking to.
“Pleasure to meet you, sir, ma’am,” he heard Karl say, his voice gorgeous even when it was tinged with sleep. Karl made a frustrated sound as Chris reached the bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and he plastered himself up against the wall to peer inside.
“Mr. Pine, Mrs. Pine, it’s wonderful to make your acquaintance. Ugh, no.”
Chris grinned so hard his cheeks hurt, and he put a hand over his mouth to contain his glee.
“Hello Robert, hello Gwynne. I’d like to thank you for bringing such a fine piece of ass into the world.”
“You should definitely use that one,” Chris said, stepping into the room.
“Jesus Christ,” Karl said, startling and pressing a hand to his chest. “Holy hell, you heard all that.”
“I did,” Chris said, grinning. His eyes flicked down to Karl’s boxers and back up to his sleep-rumpled hair. “You should wear that tonight. I’m not even kidding.”
“Fuck you.”
“Are you nervous? Because you seem nervous,” Chris said, smirking as he stepped close enough to pull Karl into a reluctant hug. “You shouldn’t be nervous,” he whispered.
Karl returned his embrace, tightening his arms around Chris’s shoulders. His body practically hummed with tension. “I’m not…” He huffed out a sigh, giving in. “Do you know how long it’s been since I had to meet someone’s parents?”
“I’m gonna guess something like ‘a fuck of a long time’, but I’d rather hear you say it.”
“A fuck of a long time, that’s how long,” Karl obliged. Chris chuckled, pleased.
“You wanna back out?”
“No,” Karl sighed.
“You sure? I can give them a call, tell them you came down with a bad case of the runs.” Chris laughed as Karl pinched him hard on the side.
“I’ll grin and bear it,” Karl said, pressing his lips to Chris’s temple.
“Oh please, you’ll love it. Just treat it like it’s a convention, tell your corny jokes, make fun of Australians, everyone will love you, I promise.”
“They’ll love me?”
“They already love you, because they know I love you. Plus, I think my mom might have a little crush.”
“Wait, back up, did you say my jokes are corny?”
“What? No. I would never say that.”
“I’m pretty sure you said that.”
“I never said that, something must be wrong with your memory. Your brain’s gone all fuzzy with the nerves.”
Karl cupped a hand around Chris’s cheek and pulled him in for a lengthy kiss. “You know what would help settle my nerves?” he whispered, his lips brushing Chris’s stubbled cheek.
“A cup of tea?” Chris asked, but the joke was lost in the husky timbre of his voice and the way his hands clutched involuntarily at Karl’s t-shirt.
“Mmm, yeah, there’s nothing like a nice hot cup of tea,” Karl growled, and Chris made a sound of protest. Karl bit lightly at his neck and said, “After the fucking.”
“Nnngh,” Chris groaned, and he pushed Karl toward the bed.
It would be hours before either of them thought about Chris’s parents again.
**
“Karl, you look ridiculous.” Chris reached over and unfastened the top button of Karl’s shirt.
“Quit it,” Karl hissed, slapping his hand away and redoing the button. He looked in the visor mirror and straightened his hair for the fifth time. “I want to look decent.”
“And I want you to look indecent, like the man that I fell in love with,” Chris said, turning toward Karl from the driver’s seat. Karl didn’t even notice the glint in Chris’s eye, until he was throwing a leg over his lap, straddling him and wrapping strong hands behind his neck.
“Chris,” Karl protested, but he was tipping his head back to let Chris kiss a trail down the sensitive skin of his throat. He hissed as Chris scraped a canine across his Adam’s apple, and his brow furrowed as he felt a tug on his collar. He heard a snap and yelped as Chris yanked the top button of his shirt off with his teeth. “Fucker!”
Chris grinned at him, the button clenched between his front teeth, then he spat it out against the car window and turned back to capture Karl’s mouth with his own.
“Chris, your parents will see us,” Karl hissed.
“No they won’t, this isn’t my parents’ house.”
“What? But you said…”
“I said we should park here, but that was so I could do this,” Chris said, as he plunged a hand down the front of Karl’s trousers.
“Fuck, Chris,” Karl hissed, but he shifted so that Chris could work his fingers all the way around his cock for a few short strokes. “Ffff yeah, wait, wait-“ Chris ignored him and slid his thumb up to smear pre-cum around the head of Karl’s dick. “Do you…nngh…do you have any tissues?”
“Are you fucking kidding me, I have my hand on your dick and you’re thinking about tissues? Is the magic gone, or what?”
“I just- dammit, Chris- I don’t want to get the magic all over my pants right before I meet your parents.”
“Oh. Well in that case-“ Chris wriggled off his lap and lowered his mouth onto Karl’s cock.
Karl managed a grunted curse before Chris sucked him down, then it was all heavy breathing and slobbery grunts and a hand in Chris’s hair as Karl squirmed in his seat. Chris glanced up to see Karl watching him, lips slightly parted, hair mussed and collar hanging open, gorgeous and thoroughly unpresentable. One more flick of his tongue, then he felt Karl shudder, and he swallowed down the warm flood of liquid that filled his mouth.
Chris scrambled up and into the driver’s seat, leaning back to unzip his fly and give a few sharp tugs at his aching cock. “Oh fuck, Karl, so fucking hot,” he said, accompanied by the slapping of skin as he pressed his head back against the seat. Karl took a second to regain his focus, but he sat up quickly when he realized what Chris was doing.
“Chris, wait, let me-“ He leaned down, mouth open to take Chris’s cock, but it was too late - Chris grunted and a stream of jizz splashed across Karl’s lips and chin.
“Oh god, sorry,” Chris said, but the sincerity of his apology was lost in a spasm of hysterical laughter. Karl glared at him and wiped his hand across his face, wincing in displeasure. “Here,” Chris said, handing him a pile of tissues from the door pocket. Karl’s expression turned positively murderous as he yanked them from his hand and wiped them both clean. Chris watched him fondly and pulled him up for a long, lazy kiss. “Well, I don’t know about you,” he murmured against Karl’s lips. “But I’m not nervous anymore.”
**
Chris was still grinning obnoxiously as they headed up the walkway to his parents’ house a few minutes later. He slung an arm around Karl’s shoulders as they approached the door. “So when you meet my mom, try not to think about how you just had my spunk all over your face, okay? Because that could be somewhat disconcerting.”’
“Oh fuck you,” Karl growled. He tugged at his sleeves for the tenth time, ran a hand through his hair, and took a deep breath.
“Oh and just so you know,” Chris murmured as he reached for the doorknob, “Pines like to hug.” Then the door was being pulled open and Chris’s dad was standing there with a grin on his face, taking Karl’s proffered hand and pulling him into a hug before he could even get out any of his well-rehearsed opening lines.
“Karl! It’s wonderful to finally meet you, goodness we’ve heard so much about you, it’s about time Chris brought you over!”
“Thank you, uh, it’s my pleasure,” Karl managed, then Chris’s mom was hugging him and a little dog was yapping around their ankles, and Chris grinned because this was exactly how it was supposed to go. Karl sagged in relief when Katie and her husband came up the walk, taking the focus off of him and prompting a whole new round of hugging.
“So far so good,” Chris whispered, nudging Karl in the side.
“What do I get for this again?” Karl murmured.
“What do you want?”
Karl leaned in close to Chris’s ear. “How about a thorough grope in your childhood room?” Chris felt his cheeks flush, and he was pretty sure he would have grabbed Karl by the hand to go fulfill that request immediately if Katie hadn’t chose that moment to turn toward them.
“Karl! So great to see you again!”
They hugged, and Karl smiled as he pulled away, saying, “I hear congratulations are in order.”
Katie’s hand drifted to her slightly rounded belly. “Thanks.” She paused, glancing at Chris, then looked back at Karl with a sly grin. “Got any good tips on raising boys?”
“Oh my god! Katie, you didn’t tell me!” Chris squealed, giving her an enthusiastic hug.
“We just found out,” Katie told them. “Brad’s already planning a sports-themed nursery.”
Brad came over at the mention of his name. “Hey, Uncle Chris!” he said, clapping Chris on the shoulder.
Chris raised an eyebrow. “Starting that already?”
Katie rolled her eyes. “Just try to stop him. No, seriously. Please try.”
“Shush, momma,” Brad said, winking at Katie. He extended a hand in Karl’s direction. “Nice to see you again…Uncle Karl.”
Karl blushed as he shook Brad’s hand. The tell-tale dimple appeared on his cheek, and Chris’s heart thumped a little harder in his chest. He wondered how soon he’d be able to sneak Karl away for that grope.
**
“Robert and I took a trip to New Zealand a few years ago,” Chris’s mom said, as she set a pile of salad on her plate. Chris rolled his eyes, but he was secretly grateful for the ready topic of conversation.
Karl leaned forward enthusiastically. “Yeah? What parts did you get to?”
“The parts with the sheep,” Robert chimed in cheerily. “We saw a lot of those!”
Chris snorted, and Gwynne said, “Robert!”
“Actually,” Karl said, “did you know that there are-“
“-four sheep for every person in New Zealand?” Chris finished for him. Karl gave him a dirty look for interrupting his fun fact.
“Oh, but the wool there is absolutely wonderful,” Chris’s mom continued. “We spent some time in the shops-“
“A lot of time,” Robert interjected.
“And we bought a few sweaters-“
“A lot of sweaters.”
“Robert, I’m trying to have a conversation with Karl here, will you please let me finish?”
Robert ignored her and put an elbow on the table, leaning in toward Karl conspiratorially. “Now Karl, when we were in New Zealand, it seemed like all the young people were into the extreme sports. Have you done a lot of those?”
“Extreme comic book reading, maybe,” Chris murmured.
“Fuck you,” Karl shot, then his eyes widened as he remembered where they were. He clamped a hand over his mouth. Chris threw his head back, laughing. “Sorry,” Karl said contritely. An adorable blush was covering his cheeks and he didn’t seem to know where to look.
“Dude, it’s fine,” Chris said, patting him on the shoulder. “Go ahead, tell us about the extreme sports.”
“I, uh, I went ice climbing once,” Karl mumbled. He looked down at his plate and shoved a forkful of salad in his mouth. Chris gave his dad a pleading look, hoping he’d change the subject.
“You know what I’ve never understood,” Robert said helpfully around a mouthful of bread. He pointed at Karl with his fork. “Rugby.”
Karl’s face lit up and Chris’s eyes widened in dismay. “Dad, no! Please, I beg of you, do not get him started.”
Robert’s brow furrowed in confusion. “But I thought you said Karl liked rugby. It was on the list!”
“What list?” Karl asked, looking back and forth between them.
Chris tried hard not to groan in frustration as he hissed across the table. “Yes, but I believe I specifically said to only bring up rugby as a last resort.”
Robert gave an innocent shrug. “I thought it was time.”
“Wait, what's this about a list?” Karl asked again.
“Oh, Chris emailed us a list of your likes and dislikes so we could get to know a little bit about you in advance,” Gwynne said helpfully.
Karl turned to Chris with an eyebrow raised. “Did he?” Chris bit his lip. “And what, exactly, are my dislikes?”
Robert pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and read from it. “Cabbage, mushrooms, radishes, math, clowns, and, quote, ‘whatever you do, do not mention’-“
“DAD!” Chris yelled, leaping across the table to grab the paper out of his hand. “Heh, um, so, can we talk about Katie now or something? Yay, babies…” he trailed off, squirming under Karl’s glare.
“Wait,” Katie said, leaning forward. “When do we start with the embarrassing stories about Chris and break out the baby pictures?”
Chris wasn’t sure whether to be pissed or grateful to her for changing the subject. He settled on grateful, since Karl seemed to forget the existence of the list as he pointed at Katie with a grin. “I like where you’re going with this.”
“Christopher prefers to share his embarrassing stories on national TV,” Gwynne said, and Chris cringed a little under her glare. She still hadn’t gotten over the fact that her son had told the world that he’d vomited all over himself at the senior party.
“True,” Katie conceded, nodding. “Well, what about the photo albums then? When I met Brad’s mom, the first thing she did was to pull out the baby book and say things like ‘Look at his little dingle!’”
“Katie!” Brad yelped as his face turned a very bright shade of red.
“What? It’s not little now.”
Chris cracked up, while Brad looked like he wanted to climb under the table.
“Oh, I’ve got one,” Robert chimed in. “One night during high school, Chris was seeing this girl…what was her name, Chris?”
Chris stared at him. “I have no idea, and I’m really afraid of where you’re going with this…” Chris said slowly.
“You know, the one who dropped you off that one time, and you guys made out in the driveway for twenty minutes without realizing that the light was on and your mother and I could see you quite clearly from the living room couch. You two were really going at it!”
“Dad! Is there an appropriate bone in your body?” Chris exclaimed. Robert shook his head and laughed a little harder.
“Karl doesn’t mind, do you, Karl?”
Karl grinned at Chris. “So it runs in the family then?”
“I hate you all,” Chris grumbled, scowling. “Is it time for dessert yet?”
**
After dinner, Karl insisted on helping with the dishes, while Chris bounced impatiently in the doorway of the kitchen. Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer, and he grabbed Karl by the hand to drag him away.
“Where are we going?” Karl asked.
“I believe you requested a grope?”
Karl chuckled as he let Chris pull him up the stairs. “Wait, wait, what are these?” Karl asked, digging in his heels as he caught sight of the pictures lining the walls of the hallway.
“Oh, crap.” Chris had forgotten about the pictures, hadn’t really noticed them in years, and he stopped reluctantly to look at them alongside Karl.
His eyes roamed over the photographs - Katie and Chris at their various graduations, Chris in his Little League uniform, the requisite school and family pictures against that ridiculous gray-blue background…and Chris as a toddler, standing in the middle of a kiddie pool, naked and, by the grin splitting his chubby cheeks, quite proud of it.
Karl stood behind Chris and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Aww,” he said, nuzzling Chris’s ear. “Look at your little dingle.”
Chris leaned back into the embrace, turning his face so that Karl could press soft kisses to his stubbled cheek. “Pretty sure I peed in the pool right after that picture was taken,” he murmured.
“I’ve no doubt.” Karl ran his other hand down Chris’s side, fingers grazing his hip. “It’s the bowl cut that’s doing it for me, really.”
“God, yeah, that was a classic.” Chris turned in Karl’s arms and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “So when do I get to see some pictures of baby Karl-Heinz, huh?” He laughed as Karl slid a hand down to pinch his ass.
“Never. I sprang to life fully formed, in the exquisite body that you see before you.”
“Bullshit. You know I still jerk off to those jailbait pictures I found of you on the internet - what were you, like 17?”
“Around that, yeah, you pervy little shit.”
“But you were so dreamy.”
“Hey, what’s with the past tense?”
“Well, now you’ve got that rugged thing going on…I suppose I can’t complain.”
“Good. Now, when do I get to fuck you senseless in your childhood bed?”
“And you call me a pervy little shit?” Chris asked in fake astonishment. Karl looked at him, an eyebrow raised and a twinkle in his eyes, and Chris pulled him close. Their lips met in a gentle kiss that quickly turned urgent, lips parting and tongues sliding together as Chris tugged Karl’s shirt from his waistband and slid a hand underneath to press his palm against warm skin. Karl moaned quietly and tightened his embrace, plunging his tongue farther into Chris’s eager mouth.
“Um, hi.”
They pulled apart quickly at the sound of Katie’s voice, so quickly that Chris fell hard against the wall, almost knocking the baby pool picture off it’s nail. Which, Chris realized upon reflection, may have been a blessing. But instead it merely swayed in place as Chris moved away, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding his sister’s eye. “Really, Katie?”
“’Really, Chris?’” Katie said, imitating him. “Your room is like 5 feet away, it’s not my fault you couldn’t make it all the way there. Anyway, Mom wants to know if you guys want coffee.”
“Uh, sure.”
“Right. I’ll leave you to it then,” Katie said with a smirk, turning to leave.
Chris peeked at Karl, who looked adorably disheveled and distinctly uncomfortable. He glanced at the door to his bedroom. “It’s not happening, is it?” he asked mournfully. Karl shook his head and Chris sighed. “Right. Well. There’s always Thanksgiving, I guess.” He took Karl’s hand and they headed back downstairs.
**
They had coffee out on the back patio as the sun sank below the horizon. Chris drank his quickly, hoping to speed up the whole goodbye process and get the hell out of there. Their little hallway makeout session had gotten him all worked up and he was eager to get home and finish what they’d started. But apparently his parents weren’t eager to see them go, because after the coffee, and after Katie and Brad had said their farewells, Chris’s dad came up to Karl, clapping him on the shoulder.
“You a smoking man, Karl?”
“Uh. On occasion, you know, I usually-”
“I picked up some nice cigars the other day,” Robert said, interrupting Karl’s attempt at stuttering out an appropriate response. “Come out to the gazebo to have one with me?”
“Sure,” Karl said, catching Chris’s eye.
“What? Why can’t I have a cigar?” Chris asked, indignant.
“Because Christopher, smoking is bad for your health. Stay here with your mother while Karl and I go have a chat.”
Karl shrugged at Chris and turned to follow Robert across the lawn.
“Why do I feel like Dad’s going to ask Karl what his intentions towards me are?” Chris muttered to him mom as he watched them walk away.
“Don’t worry, honey,” Gwynne said, putting an arm around him “I’m sure he’ll be much more subtle than that.”
Chris sighed in defeat and glanced at her. “So what do you think, Mom?”
“Oh please, you know what I think.”
Chris grinned. “Yeah, but I want to hear you say it.”
Gwynne poked him in the side. “I think your boyfriend is gorgeous and smart and completely nutso for you.”
“Nutso?”
“Nutso.”
“I really love him,” Chris said, swallowing down the flood of emotion that came with sharing that precious piece of information with one of the other most important people in his life.
“No shit,” was her response.
Chris laughed and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Thanks, Mom.”
“I like seeing you happy, Christopher,” she said.
“Yeah.” Across the lawn, Karl turned and smiled at him. He smiled back. “It feels pretty damn good to me, too.”
**
They were quiet on the car ride home, lost in their own thoughts. Chris was the first to break the silence. “My mom said you’re nutso for me.”
“Did she now?” Karl said. He sounded sleepy and relaxed, and like he was smiling out the passenger side window. “Well your dad said you were bonkers over me.”
“Bonkers?!” Chris exclaimed.
“Yep. ‘He’s clearly bonkers over you,’ that’s what he said.”
Chris kept his eyes on the road, but was grinning now, too. “Bonkers,” he said thoughtfully. “Really?”
“Clearly.”
“So you like ‘em?” Chris said, after another minute.
Karl looked at him. “Of course.”
“My mom didn’t try to hit on you, did she?”
“No she did not. Although I have to say-“
“Finish that sentence, Urban, and you will never see my impressively sized dingle ever again,” Chris warned.
Karl bit his cheek and glanced at Chris out of the corner of his eye. “It is impressive,” he said, quietly reassuring.
“I know it is.”
“I’d like to see it again.”
“I know you would.”
“Sooner rather than later. NO, don’t pull over, Jesus, we’re like five minutes from home!”
“Sorry,” Chris said, pulling back into the road. “I just wasn’t sure you’d be able to wait.”
“I can wait a little.”
“It’s yours whenever you want it.”
“I know.”
Chris kept his eyes on the road, but he heard the smile in Karl’s voice, could feel Karl watching him with half-closed eyes. He took a deep breath. “I mean, like, whenever you want it. Like, ever.”
Karl was quiet for a second. Chris thought he might have stopped breathing - maybe they both had. “You mean, like, forever?” Karl asked quietly.
Chris nodded. His throat suddenly felt tight and he felt a prickling behind his eyes.
Karl reached over, setting his hand on the back of Chris’s neck and stroking slightly with his thumb. “Yeah, alright.”
“Yeah?”
“Sure.”
Chris let out a relieved breath and smiled. “We’re going to be the awesomest uncles ever.” When Karl didn’t respond, he glanced over. “We are, right?”
Karl was staring at him, hazel eyes dark with desire. Chris’s tongue flicked out to lick his lips.
“Pull over.”
They were only two blocks from home. Chris obliged him, nonetheless.
*The End*