He, She, Itch

[therru]

I've been thinking about gender again. It's not usually something that troubles me so much these days. B wrote to me some time ago about cross-dressing, and I wrote a long answer about gender, and how I think 'male' and 'female' are mostly arbitrary constructions, anyway. And then, at the party last weekend, M told me that I should wear make-up

Comments

[armillary]

You get a philosophical answer, since that's the mood I'm in. Don't take me too seriously - I try not to.

However, it also means that, being female, I can wear beautiful clothes and get praise, not ridicule. If I had been male, I would have been called to do that in historical and middle-earth societies, because modern male clothing is, frankly, very dull.

That's part of the reason I like these societies. As far as I'm concerned, men's fashion still hasn't recovered from the 19th century. I think it was the tweed that did it.

A lot of these female things are for the most part conventions. Some of them "work", but only statistically - reactions are individual enough that there's no guaranteed effect (fortunately). The question is, do you want there to be a reaction or not?

High heels are apparently supposed to enhance the shape of your ankles and lower legs; combine it with knee-length skirts ('50s fashion) and the effect is more pronounced since that's about all you see of the leg. To wear them with full-length evening gowns, is, well, just stupid - here we get into the conventions. I think part of the reason is also to make the women taller, which works better if you want to attract tall men. Most guys (me included) don't *really* like women taller than themselves. Cue rant on male insecurities.

As for make up, it can work, but IMO it is best when you don't see that it's there. The most appealing thing anyone can have is healthy skin, and make up seems to try to mimic that. Unsuccessfully, in most cases, since humans are pretty good at telling the difference, but in dim lighting it may still work. Personally I don't much care for it, but I mostly try to see what's inside a girl's head anyway...

[therru]

If you look at historical clothing, and virtually all other cultures, men seem to have just as much interest in decorating themselves as women do. The particular aesthetics may be gender-specific, but the *drive* seems to be plain human. I feel a bit sorry for present-day men, who are commonly denied that.

The question is, do you want there to be a reaction or not?

Well, everyone likes to be thought attractive! But I would like people to think that it's *me* who is attractive, not the paint on my face, or the glittery stuff I hang on myself. Let's say it's not so important to me that I'd want to *trick* people into finding me attractive (in which case, I'd have to do it all the time). I think this connects to what I wrote in a earlier journal entry, about wanting to be truly seen (and appreciated) for who I am. It may be that I'd rather be left alone than live in falsehood and superficiality. It may be that my demands are far too high. ;)

[therru]

I just had another thought: I'm probably more interested in connecting with people than in 'playing the game', which may be why (or because) I'm not very good at it. 'Playing the game', that is. Actually, I'm not much good at connecting with people either. But I'm still more interested in it.

[tattycat]

Oh, pooh on male insecurities anyway. Some of us can't help how tall we are.

*ahem*